Is breakup sex ever a good idea?
- A July 2020 study aimed to better understand post-breakup behavior, specifically why we have breakup sex.
- This research established there are three main reasons people engage in breakup sex: relationship maintenance, ambivalence, and hedonism.
- Experts weigh in on whether or not breakup sex can be beneficial.
Why do we really have breakup sex?
Credit: rodjulian on Adobe Stock<p>A <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1474704920936916" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">July 2020 research study</a> sought to better understand post-breakup behavior by looking at the practice of breakup sex. This research consisted of two studies: one to identify how past breakup sex experiences made the people involved feel versus how they predicted they would feel in the future, and the other investigated why men and women engage in breakup sex at all.</p><p>Men and women want to have breakup sex for different reasons. </p><p>The first study included 212 participants. The results suggested that men are more likely than women to have felt better about themselves after breakup sex, whereas women were more likely to feel better about the relationship after having breakup sex.</p><p>The second study included 585 participants and the results of this study revealed that most breakup sex appears to be motivated by three main factors: relationship maintenance, hedonism, and ambivalence. </p><p>In other words, common reasons to have breakup sex include: because it feels good, because we are conflicted over how we feel about the person, and/or because we think there is maybe a way to salvage things. With this particular study, men tended to support more hedonistic and ambivalent reasons for having breakup sex more often than women. </p>
Most research says breakup sex is unhealthy<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQzMjgwMC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MTkzMjEyMn0.RDzGSXynRVnPpOTs43vkNjYZQdRRMMHSDkqv6jfTTcM/img.jpg?width=1245&coordinates=0%2C446%2C0%2C124&height=700" id="10ea6" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2ae4de88a838d886a1cf1ebe7df2fdb6" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="man and woman laying in bed" data-width="1245" data-height="700" />
Is breakup sex healthy? Research claims it's not...
Credit: fizkes on Adobe Stock<p>While the media may portray breakup sex as beneficial, does it actually do anything to help us cope with, mend, or move on from the ending of a significant relationship? The majority of research suggests that it's unhealthy, however, every situation is different and there are almost always exceptions to the rules. </p><p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-autism-spectrum-disorder/202006/is-break-sex-ever-good-idea" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Psychology Today</a> reminds us that when a relationship ends, those feelings that you had for the person don't just magically disappear. It can be a complicated and messy process—one that doesn't always have a clear path forward. The article goes on to explain some of the reasons breakup sex is unhealthy. </p><p><strong>It can give you false hope. </strong><br>Perhaps spending one more night together will convince you that the relationship isn't over or that you can continue just having sex without continuing the relationship. </p><p><strong>It stops you from moving forward. </strong><br>While there's no set time in which you should grieve the ending of a relationship, still seeing that person in any kind of sexual or romantic capacity is not going to help you heal and move forward to find better partners. </p><p><strong>The rush of hormones can make you feel differently than you actually do feel (temporarily). <br></strong>Oxytocin and other hormones released during sex are known for providing comforting, loving emotions. This can be quite conflicting when you don't actually feel that way with the person, but your body (due to sexual activity) is telling you that you do. </p>
However, some experts claim there are some benefits to breakup sex.<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQzMjgwMi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3NTMzNzI4NX0.SlkkKZQIaapN8HKTOFY3bg_RwV26PxVdcs0uPjDjhEg/img.jpg?width=1245&coordinates=0%2C189%2C0%2C117&height=700" id="0ff4a" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="4221709927d001eedb381f806ae6d51e" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="man and woman breaking up concept of breakup sex psychology" data-width="1245" data-height="700" />
Can breakup sex ever be beneficial? Some experts think it can.
Image by Naufal on Adobe Stock<p>Psychosexual and relationship psychotherapist Kate Moyle spoke with <a href="https://www.elitedaily.com/p/the-psychology-behind-breakup-sex-explains-why-it-feels-super-hot-17031372#:~:text=%E2%80%9CBreakup%20sex%20helps%20a%20couple,may%20have%20once%20worked%20well." target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Elite Daily</a> about some of the reasons why breakup sex could potentially feel helpful to those involved.</p><p>Breakup sex could allow you to be bolder in bed, leading you to more sexual satisfaction. According to Moyle, it can allow people to lose their inhibitions because they are less afraid of judgment or reaction because the relationship is ending. </p><p><strong>Breakup sex can also be therapeutic. </strong></p><p>In his interview with Elite Daily, licensed Psychotherapist Dr. John D. Moore explains that breakup sex can be one facet of the drawn-out process of ending a relationship. While most people assume relationship endings are an immediate event, Moore suggests it's more of an ongoing process. </p><p>After a breakup, your feelings are in a heightened state, which can allow you to emotionally connect with a partner in a more intense way, which can allow you both to work through some of the emotions surrounding the ending of your relationship. In the interview, Moore goes on to explain that breakup sex almost has the ability to validate certain parts of your relationship (perhaps your physical connection or chemistry) that once worked really well. It can be a celebration of the parts of your relationship you both loved and a way to let go of the relationship due to the things that won't make it work.</p><p><strong>Is breakup sex worth it? </strong></p><p>Some research is against it, some experts are for it, so is breakup sex worth it? It seems almost entirely situational. If you're having breakup sex because you are still hoping to save your relationship, perhaps it's best to steer clear of it to avoid more hurt feelings. However, if you're interested in breakup sex to celebrate and validate each other and the good parts of your relationship, there is proof that it can do that.</p>
A study explores how your dog does when you're not home.
- Just exactly how much are dogs upset when we leave?
- A new study finds that dogs spend time looking for us after we're gone.
- The experiment also found that dogs are more relaxed when we give them an affectionate, gentle petting before leaving.
The study<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDk5NzY2NS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NTkwOTA1OX0.l4TThBGoW9yNIlWqkCBNEHJ3UtcNqnXsGSNhAR3dXCg/img.jpg?width=980" id="3f4a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="7c2754204e6ff49638bfc77a7017912a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="1440" data-height="1029" />
Credit: SUJIN/Adobe Stock<p>The researchers conducted experiments with 10 healthy dogs between 1-11 years old and without unusual attachment issues. Six were spayed females and four were neutered males. The group was composed of seven mixed-breed dogs, one Labrador retriever, one <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hovawart" target="_blank">Hovawart</a>, and one Chihuahua.</p><p>The tests were conducted in an outdoor, fenced-in area and were videotaped for later analysis. Their owners walked their leashed dogs into the fenced area where they greeted a researcher, AKA Test Leader 1. A second researcher measured the dog's heartbeat using a <a href="https://www.dictionary.com/browse/phonendoscope" target="_blank">phonendoscope</a> and quickly departed.</p><p>Each dog was tested twice. In the first test, called the NGT ("No Gentle Touch") test, the owner and Test Leader 1 chatted for minute, essentially ignoring the dog. For the second, WGT ("With Gentle Touch") test, the owner petted the dog during the one-minute Test Leader 1 chat.</p><p>In both tests, after the brief chat, the owner handed the leash to Test Leader 1 and hid behind a shed for three minutes at a distance considered too far for the dog to pick up its owner's scent. The dog was free to move around the enclosure to the extent that the 1.5 meter leash allowed. The dogs spent a significant amount the time looking for their owner—in three minutes, they searched for between 84.5 and 87.5 seconds.</p><p>After the separation, Team Leader 1 called over the owner, and the leash was handed off. After 15 minutes of light activity, the dog's saliva was tested for the presence and level of the stress hormone cortisol.</p>
Petted pet<p>All dogs participated in both tests, separately. Tests were spaced 5-9 days apart and took place at roughly the same times for consistency of cortisol levels.</p><p>The researchers found that when dogs had been petted they exhibited a more relaxed demeanor during the separation.</p><p>The canines' heart rates were tested before and after separation—they may have been elevated from the start from the car trip to the test site. After the NGT test, dogs' heart rates were unchanged by the separation. After the WGT test, dogs' heart rates actually went down, indicating the experiment left them <em>more</em> relaxed than they were when they arrived.</p><p>Cortisol levels were the same after both tests.</p>
A new look at existing data by LSU researchers refutes the Trump administration's claims.
- The United States Department of Defense gifts surplus military equipment and clothing to local police departments.
- The militarization of police coincides with a significant loss of trust in law enforcement from the American public.
- Militarized police departments are more likely to interact violently with their communities.
A wide lack of support<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDk0NTA5MS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MTgxMjQ3MX0.MkHMggYd2V-JEEGobDPR51QSNgycPFCUFXGMMPCS2cc/img.jpg?width=980" id="e4754" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="523ef043784b62c3fba76f42668de0a4" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="1440" data-height="912" />
Credit: Andrew Caballero-Reynolds/Getty Images<p>It's no wonder that more than half of the American public <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/12/us/gallup-poll-police.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">no longer trusts the police</a>. It's hard not to get the impression that for many police departments, the mission has changed from one of support for its communities to an attempt to intimidate and dominate its members.</p><p>Studies back this up. Police whose departments use military equipment are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/2053168017712885" target="_blank">more often violent</a> with community members and are more likely to kill them. Neither is this a small problem at the margins of policing: <a href="https://mappingpoliceviolence.org/nationaltrends" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Over 1,000 people</a> are killed by police annually.</p><p>In spite of the Trump administration's faith in the soundness of the 1033 program, others from across the political spectrum disagree. On the right, the Charles Koch Foundation <a href="https://www.charleskochinstitute.org/issue-areas/criminal-justice-policing-reform/militarization-of-police/" target="_blank">asserts</a>, "This erosion of public confidence in law enforcement and low support for militarization impedes law enforcement's ability to effectively secure public safety." From the left, the American Civil Liberties Union <a href="https://www.aclu.org/issues/criminal-law-reform/reforming-police/police-militarization" target="_blank">says</a>, "We advocate for a return to a less dangerous, more collaborative style of policing. We should not be able to mistake our officers for soldiers."</p>
Sketchy records<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDk0NTA5NC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMTE1Nzk5MX0.KuoUq6a7B-1Pc01yH9bMziQE6rTg-aGvN00SgSCBUVA/img.jpg?width=980" id="7f861" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="602430081af21aa3ec2c66b79042a96a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="1440" data-height="1033" />
Credit: JeremyAdobe Stock<p>Gunderson explains to <a href="https://www.lsu.edu/mediacenter/news/2020/12/07polisci_gunderson_nature.php" target="_blank">LSU Media Center</a> that, "scholars rely on accurate data to track and analyze the true effect of police militarization on crime. Policymakers also need accurate data to base their decisions upon. However, to-date, we do not have reliable data on SME transfers to local police and sheriffs through the federal government."</p><p>The research cited by the Trump administration was a study done by the American Economic Association based on SME data collected through a 2014 Freedom of Information Act request. Having a look at that data themselves, along with other FOIA 2014 data released by National Public Radio and newer data from 2018, the LSU researchers found that things didn't quite line up. Where FOIA suggests certain counties received SME, NPR's data showed no such transfer. Similarly, NPR reported departments receiving items such as weapons, grants that were not reflected in the 2018 data as expected.</p><p>"When we looked at the data and ran the replications, nothing looked like the results being cited by the Trump Administration," Gunderson recalls. "We spent a year trying to diagnose the problem."</p>
Instead<p>The LSU researchers' conclusion was the the previously released SME data from the DOD was too inconsistent to produce reliable insights. They conducted their own analysis, aligning newer data with country-level LEA data, to derive a cohesive, accurate picture that allowed them to more definitively assess who got SME transfers and who didn't, and what effect it had on local crime statistics.</p><p>They found no indication that SME transfers led to a reduction in crime. The study concludes, "we find no evidence that federal distributions of SME to local LEAs across the United States reduce crime rates, neither violent nor nonviolent crime rates, in the jurisdictions that receive it."</p><p>Gunderson adds:</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"This is a cautionary tale about the importance of oversight. The most important thing for policymakers and the public to know is that you can't justify giving surplus military equipment to police departments on the grounds it will lead to a reduction in crime. There is no evidence for that. You can't claim this program is important because it reduces crime."</p><p>What's more says, the report, "because of serious data problems and debatable methodological choices in prior studies, the empirical foundations on which social scientists, along with policymakers and the public, stand when making causal claims about the effects of the transfers of SME may be no firmer than quicksand."</p>
A heated debate is occurring at the University of Miami.
- Students say they were identified with facial recognition technology after a protest at the University of Miami; campus police claim this isn't true.
- Over 60 universities nationwide have banned facial recognition; a few colleges, such as USC, regularly use it.
- Civil rights groups in Miami have called for the University of Miami to have talks on this topic.
Arthur Holland Michel: The Future of Surveillance Technology<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8c330ab8c4df396f5313be796c0d96da"><iframe type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hIC-kaYcq34?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>Americans don't always agree with that assessment, especially on college campuses. Over 60 universities—Harvard, MIT, and UCLA are on the list—have banned facial recognition. Of the few schools that utilize it, USC lets students enter their rooms via face scans; the software also ensures intruders cannot access buildings.</p><p>These are great uses of this technology. You could argue it's how any progress with our devices should work: in service of people. The problem, of course, is that those in power don't tend to stop when they have a little taste of the possibilities.</p><p>University of Miami is the <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/rachelsandler/2020/10/27/human-rights-groups-call-on-the-university-of-miami-to-ban-facial-recognition/#a11c8bf2965a" target="_blank">latest school</a> to be embroiled in a battle over facial recognition. The ACLU of Florida was joined by 21 other groups when requesting that the university hold an open forum so that students can express their concerns. A piece of their letter is below. </p><p>This call for action was inspired after a September incident in which students <a href="https://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/university-of-miami-tracked-protesters-with-video-surveillance-11712139" target="_blank">protested</a> returning for in-person classes during the pandemic. The students, concerned about their health, predominantly wore face masks. Still, a number of them were identified, leading to concerns that facial recognition was used. Campus police denied it—the chief even claimed the tech "doesn't work," though that notion <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2020/08/12/tech/face-recognition-masks/index.html" target="_blank">has been refuted</a>—yet civil liberties groups are worried that an invasion of privacy occurred.</p><p>Lia Holland, a member of the digital rights nonprofit <a href="https://www.fightforthefuture.org/news/2020-10-27-20-human-rights-organizations-call-on-university-of-miami-to-ban-facial-recognition-and-meet-f6f2119fd41b/" target="_blank">Fight for the Future</a>, wants answers from school administrators. </p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"UMiami is struggling to answer to their creepy surveillance practices, and clarify whether they are using their own facial recognition system, or Florida's state facial recognition database."</p>
Credit: Pixel Shot / Adobe Stock<p>The police chief in question, David Rivero, claims overhead surveillance cameras provided identification at the protest. Yet speaking of another case involving facial-recognition software, he's <a href="https://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/university-of-miami-tracked-protesters-with-video-surveillance-11712139" target="_blank">on the record stating</a>, "We were able to [easily] identify and arrest him. We've [detected] a few bad guys that way."</p><p>The letter sent to the Board of Administrators <a href="https://www.fightforthefuture.org/news/2020-10-27-20-human-rights-organizations-call-on-university-of-miami-to-ban-facial-recognition-and-meet-f6f2119fd41b/" target="_blank">includes the following demands</a>: </p><ol><li>Issue a campus-wide policy banning non-personal use of facial recognition technology, and issue a statement that you have done so.</li><li>Immediately schedule an open forum with students and faculty/staff to discuss community concerns and clarify how student activists who participated in First Amendment protected protest activities were identified by campus police.</li><li>Immediately schedule a meeting with the UMiami Employee Student Alliance (UMESA) to address their COVID-19 safety concerns, the subject of the original protest.</li></ol><p>There's no doubt facial-recognition technology has a place in law enforcement. Victims of unsolved crimes are relieved when the perpetrators are brought to justice, regardless of the means. As Michel writes, some police forces are already surveilling large regions of their districts using the Gorgon Stare, a camera used from airplanes. Cameras are ubiquitous, and that's not going to change. </p>As a society, we need honest discussions regarding the application of surveillance. Nearly every citizen in China has <a href="https://www.cnet.com/news/in-china-facial-recognition-public-shaming-and-control-go-hand-in-hand/" target="_blank">already been logged</a> by facial recognition software, which has led to human rights abuses. While the stated intention of this tech by American police is pure, good intentions are known to pave the way...well, we know how that ends. <p>--</p><p><em>Stay in touch with Derek on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/derekberes" target="_blank">Twitter</a> and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/DerekBeresdotcom" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Facebook</a>. His new book is</em> "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08KRVMP2M?pf_rd_r=MDJW43337675SZ0X00FH&pf_rd_p=edaba0ee-c2fe-4124-9f5d-b31d6b1bfbee" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Hero's Dose: The Case For Psychedelics in Ritual and Therapy</a>."</em></p>