How the pandemic has affected mental health internet searches
Did America's collective mental health get worse (and then better) after the first COVID-19 lockdown?
08 February, 2021
Credit: Thaspol on Adobe Stock
- According to a new study, there was an influx of internet searches for mental health symptoms during the beginning of the pandemic, and this has slowly trended downwards.
- Researchers looked at whether mitigation policies correlated with Google searches for terms associated with depression and anxiety between January and June of 2020. Additionally, they monitored search terms for in-home activities.
- While searches for antidepressants and suicide did rise when social distancing measures were being implemented, research shows the search terms exercise and cooking also rose.
<p><strong>The beginning of COVID-19 in America: </strong></p><ul class="ee-ul"><li>On January 21, 2020, the CDC (Center for Disease Control) confirmed the first case of CoV-SARS-2 (COVID-19) in the United States. </li><li>On February 3, 2020 (three days after the World Health Organization declared a Global Health Emergency), a public health emergency was declared in the United States. </li><li>A little over a month later, on March 13, 2020, a national emergency was declared. </li><li>Over the next few months, various parts of the world (including the United States) would implement various levels of precautions: stay-at-home orders and restrictions to try to curb the spread of the virus. </li><li>By the end of May 2020, the United States COVID-19 death toll passed 100,000. </li></ul><p>Within four months, the COVID-19 pandemic changed everything, and our society was faced with unprecedented circumstances. (For a full timeline of COVID-19 in America, <a href="https://www.ajmc.com/view/a-timeline-of-covid19-developments-in-2020" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">click here</a>.) While researchers were hard at work attempting to learn more information about the virus and potentially come up with a vaccine, the mental health toll of the pandemic became noticeable. </p><p><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1570677X20302331?via%3Dihub" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">According to a new study</a>, there was an influx of internet searches for mental health symptoms during the beginning of the pandemic, and this has slowly trended downwards. </p><p>Study co-author Bita Fayaz Farkhad, PhD., explains to <a href="https://www.psychcongress.com/article/online-searches-related-mental-health-stabilized-after-spiking-early-pandemic" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Psychiatry and Behavioral Health Learning Network</a>: <em>"</em>We wanted to study how serious the mental health impact of the mitigation phase was during the initial COVID-19 outbreak last spring. Did it go beyond people feeling anxious or disheartened? Was it long-lasting, and did it increase suicide ideation and the need for medical treatment for depression?"</p>
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Mental health internet searches throughout the COVID-19 pandemic
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTYxOTM3Ni9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2ODAzNDUxN30.KY1F3g3HZf58zZvDIweCZlf4eJK57QZVQYj1s0Uvp8g/img.jpg?width=1245&coordinates=0%2C183%2C0%2C312&height=700" id="5da47" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e1dcdabb94dd518ad325750ecc847325" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="woman sitting inside looking outside concept of mental health depression anxiety sadness COVID-19" data-width="1245" data-height="700" />This is one of many studies that have examined the mental health impact of COVID-19 isolation orders.
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<p>In this study, researchers looked at whether mitigation policies correlated with Google searches for terms associated with depression and anxiety. Additionally, they monitored search terms for in-home activities. Researchers covered the time span from January 2020 to June 2020.</p><p><strong>Two previous studies have examined the mental health effects of stay-at-home orders. </strong></p><p>The first study (<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1570677X20302331?via%3Dihub#bib0155" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Hamermesh, 2020</a>) used a simulation where time spent alone from the 2012-2013 American Time Use Survey forecasted negative impacts of the stay-at-home orders on happiness. </p><p>The second study (<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1570677X20302331?via%3Dihub#bib0050" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Brodeur et al,. 2020</a>) examined the effects of the stay-at-home orders on mental health symptoms related to searches on Google. In this case, there were reported increases in searches relating to the following terms: </p><ul><li>"Boredom" </li><li>"Sadness" </li><li>"Loneliness"</li><li>"Worry"</li></ul><p><strong>In this study, limited social contact had people searching terms such as "isolation" and "worry." </strong></p><p>Findings from this study indicated that social limits (on restaurants and bars, for example) and stay-at-home orders correlated with immediate increases in searches for the terms "isolation" and "worry" - but the effects within a few weeks.</p><p><strong>The beginning of the pandemic showed significant spikes in mental health symptom searches.</strong></p><p>"At the outset of the pandemic, consistent with prior research, social distancing policies correlated with a spike in searches about how to deal with isolation and worry, which shouldn't be surprising," <a href="https://www.psychcongress.com/article/online-searches-related-mental-health-stabilized-after-spiking-early-pandemic" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">said co-author Dolores Albarracín, Ph.D.</a> "Generally speaking, if you have a pandemic or an economic shock, that's going to produce its own level of anxiety, depression, and negative feelings, and we had both with COVID-19."</p><p>Within two to four weeks of peaking, however, such searches tapered off, the study showed.</p><p><strong>Experts weigh in: time spent at home could be beneficial. </strong></p><p>Why would mental health-related searches taper off when the pandemic was still raging on? This study found that more time spent with family (or working from home, taking up new hobbies due to isolation) because of the stay-at-home orders could have lead to improvements in health and may counteract any potential negative health effect of the isolation policies.</p><p>It's also important to note that not all changes in mental health searches could be in response to the isolation policies being enforced. Historically, infectious diseases have been responsible for the greatest human death tolls and function as a massive stressor on society as a whole. </p><p><strong>Both positive and negative Google searches rose during the pandemic. </strong></p><p>While searches for "antidepressants" and "suicide" did rise at times when social distancing measures were being implemented, research shows the search terms "exercise" and "cooking" also rose. This suggests that people were actively searching for ways to combat the negative feelings the isolation measures brought out. </p>
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A philosophical approach to routines can illuminate who we really are
What can 'behaviorism' teach us about ourselves?
05 February, 2021
Credit: Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
There are hundreds of things we do – repeatedly, routinely – every day. We wake up, check our phones, eat our meals, brush our teeth, do our jobs, satisfy our addictions.
<p> In recent years, such habitual actions have become an arena for self-improvement: bookshelves are saturated with bestsellers about 'life hacks', 'life design' and how to 'gamify' our long-term projects, promising everything from enhanced productivity to a healthier diet and huge fortunes. These guides vary in scientific accuracy, but they tend to depict habits as routines that follow a repeated sequence of behaviors, into which we can intervene to set ourselves on a more desirable track. </p><p>The problem is that this account has been bleached of much of its historical richness. Today's self-help books have in fact inherited a highly contingent version of habit – specifically, one that arises in the work of early 20th-century psychologists such as <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1939-00056-000">B F Skinner</a>, <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1931-01283-001">Clark Hull</a>, <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1926-03227-001">John B Watson</a> and <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1927-02531-000">Ivan Pavlov</a>. These thinkers are associated with <em>behaviorism</em>, an approach to psychology that prioritizes observable, stimulus-response reactions over the role of inner feelings or thoughts. The behaviorists defined habits in a narrow, individualistic sense; they believed that people were conditioned to respond automatically to certain cues, which produced repeated cycles of action and reward.</p><p>The behaviorist image of habit has since been updated in light of contemporary neuroscience. For <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18558860">example</a>, the fact that the brain is plastic and changeable allows habits to inscribe themselves in our neural wiring over time by forming privileged connections between brain regions. The influence of behaviorism has enabled researchers to study habits quantitatively and rigorously. But it has also bequeathed a flattened notion of habit that overlooks the concept's wider philosophical implications.</p>
<p>Philosophers used to look at habits as ways of contemplating who we are, what it means to have faith, and why our daily routines reveal something about the world at large. In his <em>Nicomachean Ethics</em>, Aristotle uses the terms <em>hexis</em> and <em>ethos</em> – both translated today as 'habit' – to study stable qualities in people and things, especially regarding their morals and intellect. <em>Hexis</em> denotes the lasting characteristics of a person or thing, like the smoothness of a table or the kindness of a friend, which can guide our actions and emotions. A <em>hexis</em> is a characteristic, capacity or disposition that one 'owns'; its etymology is the Greek word <em>ekhein</em>, the term for ownership. For Aristotle, a person's character is ultimately a sum of their <em>hexeis</em> (plural).</p><p>An <em>ethos</em>, on the other hand, is what allows one to develop <em>hexeis.</em> It is both a way of life and the basic calibre of one's personality. <em>Ethos</em> is what gives rise to the essential principles that help to guide moral and intellectual development. Honing <em>hexeis</em> out of an <em>ethos</em> thus takes both time and practice. This version of habit fits with the tenor of ancient Greek philosophy, which often emphasized the cultivation of virtue as a path to the ethical life.</p><p>Millennia later, in medieval Christian Europe, Aristotle's <em>hexis</em> was Latinised into <em>habitus</em>. The translation tracks a shift away from the virtue ethics of the Ancients towards Christian morality, by which habit acquired distinctly divine connotations. In the middle ages, Christian ethics moved away from the idea of merely shaping one's moral dispositions, and proceeded instead from the belief that ethical character was handed down by God. In this way, the desired <em>habitus</em> should become entwined with the exercise of Christian virtue.</p>
<p>The great theologian Thomas Aquinas saw habit as a vital component of spiritual life. According to his <em>Summa Theologica </em>(1265-1274), <em>habitus</em> involved a rational choice, and led the true believer to a sense of faithful freedom. By contrast, Aquinas used <em>consuetudo</em> to refer to the habits we acquire that inhibit this freedom: the irreligious, quotidian routines that do not actively engage with faith. <em>Consuetudo</em> signifies mere association and regularity, whereas <em>habitus</em> conveys sincere thoughtfulness and consciousness of God. <em>Consuetudo</em> is also where we derive the terms 'custom' and 'costume' – a lineage which suggests that the medievals considered habit to extend beyond single individuals.</p><p>For the Enlightenment philosopher David Hume, these ancient and medieval interpretations of habit were far too limiting. Hume conceived of habit via what it empowers and enables us to do as human beings. He came to the conclusion that habit is the 'cement of the universe', which all 'operations of the mind … depend on'. For instance, we might throw a ball in the air and watch it rise and descend to Earth. By habit, we come to associate these actions and perceptions – the movement of our limb, the trajectory of the ball – in a way that eventually lets us grasp the relationship between cause and effect. Causality, for Hume, is little more than habitual association. Likewise language, music, relationships – any skills we use to transform experiences into something that's useful are built from habits, he believed. Habits are thus crucial instruments that enable us to navigate the world and to understand the principles by which it operates. For Hume, habit is nothing less than the 'great guide of human life'.</p><p>It's clear that we ought to see habits as more than mere routines, tendencies and ticks. They encompass our identities and ethics; they teach us how to practice our faiths; if Hume is to believed, they do no less than bind the world together. Seeing habits in this new-yet-old way requires a certain conceptual and historical about-face, but this U-turn offers much more than shallow self-help. It should show us that the things we do every day aren't just routines to be hacked, but windows through which we might glimpse who we truly are.<img src="https://metrics.aeon.co/count/224cd7fe-d27d-48ac-b64d-5316ceb558d2.gif" alt="Aeon counter – do not remove"></p><p>This article was originally published at <a href="https://aeon.co/?utm_campaign=republished-article" target="_blank">Aeon</a> and has been republished under Creative Commons. Read the <a href="https://aeon.co/ideas/a-philosophical-approach-to-routines-can-illuminate-who-we-really-are" target="_blank">original article</a>.</p>
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Which COVID-19 personality are you?
New research identifies 16 different COVID-19 personality types and the lessons we can learn from this global pandemic.
02 February, 2021
Credit: deagreez on Adobe Stock
- New research by Mimi E. Lam at the University of Bergen explores the different "personality types" that have emerged in response to the COVID-19 pandemic.
- According to Lam, recognizing various COVID-19 identities can refine forecasts of SARS-CoV-2 transmission and impact.
- Global Solutions Initiative, Population Matters, and AME explore how the world (and society) has changed due to COVID-19.
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Are you a complier or non-complier personality type?
<p><a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41599-020-00679-5" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">New research by Mimi E. Lam</a> at the University of Bergen (Human and Social Sciences Communications) explores the different "personality types" that have emerged in response to the COVID-19 pandemic.<br></p><p>Lam explains to Eurekalert: <em>"</em>...the COVID-19 pandemic reminds us that we are not immune to each other. To unite in our fight against the pandemic, it is important to recognize the basic dignity of all and value the human diversity currently dividing us."</p><p>According to Lam, "Only then, can we foster societal resilience and an ethical COVID-19 agenda. This would pave the way for other global commons challenges whose impacts are less immediate, but no less dire for humanity."</p><p>There are 16 different COVID-19 personality types, and they include the following:</p><ol> <li><strong>Deniers </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who downplay the viral threat and promote a kind of "business as usual" lifestyle.</li><li><strong>Spreaders </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who believe spreading the virus could actually be positive. These are individuals who believe in "herd immunity" and that passing the virus around will eventually allow things to return to normal.</li><li><strong>Harmers </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who intentionally attempt to harm others by spreading the virus (via coughing or spitting, not wearing masks, licking various public surfaces, etc.).</li><li><strong>Realists </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who recognize the reality (and potential harm) of spreading the virus and attempt to adjust their behaviors to not spread the virus.</li><li><strong>Worriers </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who stay informed and safe to manage their uncertainty and fear. These are also individuals who will have a lot of anxiety over the current state of the virus at all times.</li><li><strong>Contemplators </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who have taken "quarantine times" to isolate and reflect on their own lives. These are individuals who may attempt to better themselves (focusing on new hobbies or skills) during times of isolation.</li><li><strong>Hoarders </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who panic-buy and hoard products (such as <a href="https://bigthink.com/surprising-science/toilet-paper-is-a-giant-waste-of-resources" target="_blank">toilet paper</a>) in an attempt to quell their panic and worry over the spreading of the virus.</li><li><strong>Invincibles </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who believe themselves to be immune to the virus. These are also individuals who claim a kind of "if I get sick, I get sick" kind of attitude, not taking time to reflect on the idea that they could be carriers of the virus, spreading it to others.</li><li><strong>Rebels </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who defiantly ignore social distancing measures and various other rules put into place to protect the general public.</li><li><strong>Blamers</strong> — Those who fault others for their fears and frustrations.</li><li><strong>Exploiters </strong>—<strong> </strong>Those who attempt to exploit the current situation (taking advantage of vulnerable people/situations) for power, profit, or brutality.</li><li><strong>Innovators </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who attempt to design or repurposes resources in an attempt to fight the pandemic and contribute to society.</li><li><strong>Supporters </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who show support and solidarity to others around them in regards to fending off the virus or supporting loved ones.</li><li><strong>Altruists </strong>— Individuals who help the vulnerable, elderly, and isolated.</li><li><strong>Warriors </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals (such as front-line support workers and health care workers) who combat COVID-19 on the front lines, facing the harsh and grim realities of a global pandemic on a larger scale.</li><li><strong>Veterans </strong>—<strong> </strong>Individuals who have experienced a previous pandemic (such as SARS or MERS) and willingly comply with restrictions.<br></li></ol><p>According to Lam and her research, recognizing various COVID-19 identities can refine forecasts of SARS-CoV-2 transmission and impact. These viral identities can reflect values, social identities, situational contexts, and risk tolerances. Lam suggests that to forecast viral transmission within populations (accounting for different responses), these identified viral behaviors can be clustered by their "compliance" efforts.<br><br></p><ol><li><strong>Non-compilers </strong>are individuals who fall into the following categories: Deniers, Harmers, Invincibles, and Rebels.</li><li><strong>Partial compliers</strong> would be individuals who fall into the categories of: Spreaders, Blamers, and Exploiters.</li><li><strong>Compliers</strong> would be individuals who are in the categories of Realists, Worriers, Contemplators, Hoarders, Innovators, Supporters, Altruists, Warriors, and Veterans.</li></ol><p><strong>Lam suggests that liberal democracies need an ethical policy agenda with three priorities: </strong></p><ul><li>Recognize the diversity of individuals</li><li>Deliberate and negotiate value trade-offs</li><li>Promote public buy-in, trust, and compliance</li></ul><p>By projecting different impacts in COVID-19 transmission and deaths and then correlating those with variable behavioral responses such as the ones listed above, we can reveal the benefits of not only flattening the viral curve but shifting our behavioral curve in a joint human effort to induce more adaptive responses to the pandemic. More research needs to be conducted in this area. </p>What has COVID-19 taught us as a society?
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTU1OTcwMS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MDM2MDA5MH0.3RGt8n8Oll8KaVxfWZhf4scO4FuZTJnBiTo3l5V4nHg/img.jpg?width=980" id="66eb9" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9d8a31cc3e346006aa361979e65af9d2" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="image of shop closed due to coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic economy" data-width="7200" data-height="4050" />Image by Corona Borealis on Adobe Stock
<p><strong>The <a href="https://www.global-solutions-initiative.org/press-news/fundamental-lessons-from-the-covid-19-pandemic-global-solutions-summit-2020-opening-address/" target="_blank">Global Solutions Initiative</a></strong><strong> outlines a few questions and concerns that humankind has been faced with since the COVID-19 pandemic began in early 2020:</strong></p><ul><li>We have been confronted with the true uncertainty and vulnerability of human life and our very existence.<br><br> </li><li>We have been made to face existential questions - what are we here for, what do we want to accomplish? Who are the people that matter most to us?</li></ul><p><strong><a href="https://populationmatters.org/news/2020/12/18/what-covid-19-has-taught-us-about-our-relationship-nature" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Population Matters</a> outlines a few more daunting questions about humankind's relationship with nature: </strong></p><ul><li>What is the link between population growth, environmental destruction, and pandemics?<br><br> </li><li>How has our society's exponential rise in consumption, trade, and population pressure driven a rapid increase in the risk of pandemics? </li></ul><p><strong><a href="https://www.ameinfo.com/industry/life/5-things-covid-19-has-taught-us" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">AME</a> outlines some essential things this pandemic has taught us about humanity and life: </strong></p><ul><li>The meat industry has played a large hand in transmitting this virus. According to a recent study, SARS-CoV-2 originated in bats and has likely been transmitted to human through a scaled mammal called a pangolin (which are highly traded in China despite being deemed illegal). </li></ul><ul><li>Nature can recover from our destructive efforts. Since the pandemic, the world has seen <a href="https://www.sfgate.com/living-in-sf/article/Coyotes-are-being-seen-on-the-empty-streets-15159105.php" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">coyotes on the streets</a>, <a href="https://www.wired.com/story/coronavirus-lockdown-conservation/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">wild boar roaming around in Barcelona</a>, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/apr/09/coronavirus-may-prove-boost-for-uks-bees-and-rare-wildflowers" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">more bees, and rare wildflowers in the UK.<br></a> </li><li>Many in-office employees can work from home. This pandemic has altered the way many businesses run and will continue to run in the future. This could cause less pollution and have positive impacts on the environment. </li></ul><p>The research conducted by Lam and subsequent research on how COVID-19 is impacting society can help us grow and adapt and perhaps become better equipped to deal with global pandemics in the future. </p>
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The lost art of rest: How to relax
In her book The Art of Rest, one researcher conducted a thorough analysis of the top 10 activities we find most restful.
31 January, 2021
Photo by MARIA E. MAYOBRE on Unsplash
Even though our bodies and minds are begging for a break, modern culture has turned rest into a sin. So how can we catch a breath?
<p>I'll start by telling my own story. It will serve as proof that I represent one of the most severe deficits of contemporary society: I don't know how to rest. However, it also shows that each of us is the best healer of our own exhaustion and can find a way to deep rest. The path is simple to walk, but hard to enter. Especially now, when an urbanized civilization forces its amped-up pace of existence upon us, along with inflated activity norms. But first, we need to escape the rocket in which we are hurling through life.</p>
<h3>The purpose</h3><p>"When was the last time you went for a holiday?"</p><p>This question took me by surprise. It was a beautiful summer afternoon, golden sunshine and light wind seeped into the room. For a long time, I watched the waving lace curtain. I counted, carefully backtracking my memories. The psychiatrist waited, watching me kindly.</p><p>"Eight years ago," I said slowly, hardly believing those words. I hadn't taken any breaks between the 29th and 37th years of my life.</p><p>"Well, perhaps it's high time for some rest, then?" he said, the question floating gently in the air, light and delicate. "The more work there is in your life, the more time you should make for rest. It may sound like a paradox, but you need to maintain the balance between those two elements."</p><p>Of course, I travelled plenty over the course of those eight years; I have been to many sunny places, usually associated with kicking back and relaxing. But every one of those trips had its purpose; I went there to see something, visit someone, write about it. And since my work is also my passion and lifestyle choice, it was easy to let the lines blur. For eight years, I failed to notice that I am never resting. The doctor did, though, and very mildly, he uttered the word <em>burnout</em>.</p>
<h3>No purpose?</h3><p>I had no idea what to do with myself. How do I go somewhere for no reason? Or maybe rather: to find peace, quiet, calm waters. And where? Where could I possibly go and have nothing to do, nothing to observe, nothing to describe?</p><p>"Go to Cornwall, it's so beautiful over there!" suggested my sister.</p><p>"How do you know, have you been there?"</p><p>"No, but I've heard."</p><p>Fair enough, Cornwall it is. The first leg of the trip was easy – I took a flight to London and spent a few fun August days in a vibrant city. I visited a bunch of galleries, bookshops, parks, went to two plays and three concerts. Then I bought a ticket to Penzance and got on a train in Paddington, feeling like a lost teddy bear riding to the most faraway place where no-one was waiting. The only point of reference I had in my head was Land's End, a literal end of the world – the southernmost strip of British soil.</p><p>After years of hyperactivity, I plunged into a rural void. Even in the peak holiday season, most of the villages, towns and fields of Cornwall remain a motionless little world of their own, where time trickles slowly, and the only thing that could possibly stir one's emotions is the weather. This little piece of land, protruding far into the Atlantic, is as exposed to the forces of nature as a ship in the sea. When the sun is shining, there is nowhere to hide from its blaze, and once a rainstorm comes, it swallows everything, wiping out colours and shapes. After two days of typical city-dweller activities – thorough area inspections, museum-trodding, visiting organic farms and sampling local cuisine – there was nothing left to do. Nothing at all – and I simply could not stop. The sudden halt of my normal impetus was a shock. I couldn't sleep; I struggled with anxiety. Only in walks did I find some relief.</p><p>On the third day, I found my way outside town and came across a married couple wearing trekking boots. I asked them where they were coming from. That's how, by a complete accident, I found out about the South West Coast Path, a legendary route running along the southwestern coast of Great Britain. And it was the trail (for the most part, it is little more than a narrow, barely visible path leading across hills, slopes, swaths of shrubbery and fields of lavender) that saved me. It gave me a rhythm, allowing me to keep on moving together with my thoughts and feelings. I could walk across two landscapes at once: the gorgeous vistas around me, and the inner terrain of my mind that I finally had to face.</p><p>For the days to come, I walked the route bit by bit, without a map, led only by curiosity about the views that might emerge from behind the next turn. Whenever I wanted to rest, I walked down to the beach, and when hungry, I climbed up to the nearest village. Once the day was nearing its end, I caught a bus and went wherever it took me, just to find a place with a roof and a bed to rent. In the morning, once again I stared at waves breaking on sharp rocks, dolphin backs glistening in the sun, horses and cows grazing on meadows, bumblebees hovering over flowers. For days, I said nothing to anyone. I just walked, absorbed the nature around me, read, ate, bathed, slept. The whole trip took barely two weeks. And yet, it remained within me like it was a months-long period of metamorphosis and deep rest. It was a turning point. I didn't understand why it affected me this way until quite recently, when during another visit to London I came across a book <em>The</em> <em>Art</em> <em>of</em> <em>Rest:</em> <em>How</em> <em>to</em> <em>Find</em> <em>Respite</em> <em>in</em> <em>the</em> <em>Modern</em> <em>Age </em>by Claudia Hammond (Canongate, 2019), on the art of finding rest in the modern world.</p><p>I did not know it back then in Cornwall, but my instinct led me towards the best and most effective way of finding deep tranquillity and leisure. Thanks to Hammond's work – to my surprise, she turned out to be one of the very few researchers focused on relaxation, so vital to all humans – there are several facts about rest we now know for sure. Relaxation is a state every one of us achieves in their own way, due to an individually regulated alchemy of performed tasks and activities that bring us peace and repose. But rest is also something universal, brought to us by simple, easily available means. Humanity, as a whole, seems to agree on what kinds of activity allow us to rest most effectively.</p>
<h3>Answers from 134 countries</h3><p>The question: "What are the activities you find most restful?" was asked by an eclectic group of scientists and experts from Durham University in the north of England, working on The Rest Test, the first global research into this topic. Claudia Hammond, a BBC health journalist of many years, was also part of the team. The research report was published in 2018; it summarized the findings from a record 18,000 responses from 134 countries. Such a large response pool enabled the team to draw reliable conclusions on what helps us rest, regardless of our origin, financial status, or age. The report listed 10 activities that give us the deepest sense of relaxation. It did not include sleep, as the researchers were only interested in activities performed consciously. In her book <em>The Art of Rest</em>, Hammond conducted a thorough analysis of those top 10 activities, turning to science to explain why and in what conditions those, and not other choices, help us unwind.</p><p>Before I describe the 10 activities said to be the best stress-remedies, let me tell you the two modern favourites that didn't make it. As it turns out, spending hours online and on our smartphones do not provide solid rest, and respondents described the time spent on those activities as mostly empty and wasted. We also fail to relax when socializing and talking to our friends and loved ones, probably because it requires us to perform certain roles. We should also keep in mind that The Test Rest research focused on activities that give us a feeling of being well-rested, rather than what is most enjoyable.</p><p>Let's start from the bottom. In 10th place, there was mindfulness – a practice whose name seems difficult to translate into other languages, as it combines many practices that soothe the mind and teach us being aware and present in the here and now. In the Durham University research, the idea of mindfulness included such practices as yoga, breathing exercises, and clearing the mind. When repeated regularly, those practices help unite the body and mind. Hammond analysed various research on the actual impact of mindfulness on rest and found that too often, it is proposed as a universal cure to all problems. The efficacy of mindfulness is limited, and it seems to be helpful only to few: most mindfulness class attendees give up early on. In Hammond's opinion, the greatest advantage of mindfulness is that in its basic form, it proves quite easy to incorporate into our daily life. For example, we can just sit down with our eyes closed and follow our thoughts for a moment, letting them come and go on their own accord. This one activity alone is enough to remind us that life is constantly changing and worth being accepted this way. Opposing it will just wear you out!</p>
<h3>The modern Valium</h3><p>Watching TV turned out to be the ninth most effectively relaxing activity. Despite the common belief that it's mind-numbing, mood-lowering and harmful, research quoted in <em>The Art of Rest </em>shows that proportions are the most important thing about achieving a state of relaxation. Therefore, too much TV does bring down one's mood, but when it's not enough, it won't make us feel rested. Data from all over the world shows TV-watching time is gradually increasing – collectively, humanity consumes 3.5 billion hours of television content each year. In the US, a 75-year-old person has spent a total of nine years of their life solely on staring at the TV. But is it really that bad? Respondents in The Rest Test said that TV-watching requires no physical effort and allows us to lose ourselves in someone else's life for a while. And this enables us to rest.</p><p>Psychologist <a href="https://przekroj.pl/en/society/a-life-in-flow-tomasz-stawiszynski" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mihály Csíkszentmihályi</a> is the creator of the concept of flow, as well as the author of key research on how we like to spend our free time and what gives us joy. One of his experiments showed that subjects were more relaxed when watching television than attending sports events, going to dance clubs, eating, and even doing nothing. They confirmed that television makes them feel sleepy and passive, while also improving their mood. Hammond believes that TV seems to be today's equivalent of Valium, providing escape as well as relief. It can also be a significant factor in reducing the feeling of loneliness, not just to the elderly or people who live alone. To many of us, watching TV together can be a pleasant way to wrap up our day in an atmosphere of non-committal intimacy – we sit close to each other and watch a story unfold together without the obligation of speaking or being active. We are resting. And despite the common concern, TV doesn't mean being completely passive, either. Many of us combine watching television with other activities, such as ironing. Just like with other relaxing activities, this one also requires moderation. Excessive television-watching is addictive; it can also worsen symptoms of depression. But a little bit of mental numbness, Hammond argues, can be more helpful than we used to think.</p><p>The eighth spot on the list of global relaxation is daydreaming, that is, letting our thoughts run uncontrolled. The uncontrolled meandering of thoughts is somewhat related to the concept of mindfulness. It allows our thoughts to flow in an uninhibited way without us focusing on any of them specifically. It's all about letting go. You needn't worry about your brain; an increasing amount of research proves it's never truly idle. When we seem to be thinking about nothing at all, our brains tend to become quite active. Unleashing one's thoughts is wonderfully beneficial to our creativity and releases our minds from the need to check on our daily to-do lists constantly. The trouble with daydreaming is that it's commonly associated with laziness, and the modern lifestyle does not approve of 'wasting time' in this way. Unless it happens in the bath…</p><h3>A trip to the bathtub</h3><p>The seventh-best method of deep relaxation is a hot bath. It seems to be viewed as the purest form of rest; respondents described it as something rejuvenating, safe, healing, private, priceless, uninterrupted. A bath is one of the best ways of unwinding, because we can allow ourselves it. Modern reality has whipped us into a fetishized state of being constantly busy and working. Hammond takes a closer look at our double-edged relationship with rest, showing that it often makes us feel guilty.</p><p>The negative approach to relaxation goes all the way to ancient times. Greek philosophers – as well as the Bible – taught us to consider idleness a sin, or a disease of the soul. Meanwhile, a bathtub remains one of the last spaces in which we allow ourselves to just <em>be</em>. It is also aided by the positive stereotype of personal hygiene rituals (I'm not lounging, I'm cleansing my body), and the scientifically-confirmed positive influence baths have on our health by reducing levels of the stress hormone cortisol, or by lowering our body temperature for a while after a bath, making it easier to fall asleep. However, Hammond warns, spending too much time in hot water has negative effects, adding that there is no decisive proof on the health benefits of winter swimming. Icy dippers might find this activity fun and relaxing, but science has no explanation for that!</p><p>The sixth place on the list is occupied by walks; much more dependable than polar bear plunges. The test confirmed what many of us feel instinctively and regularly practice: 38% of respondents listed walking as one of the three activities they find most relaxing. Even though walks require physical activity, they provide – just like lounging in a bath – the perfect conditions for doing nothing. When declaring "I'll go for a walk", we express the desire to be active, not lazy. Importantly, walking also improves our thinking. Many writers, from Thoreau to Solnit, said they came up with their best ideas while walking. Sitting down and thinking in a static position is more difficult, and in modern culture, it has become synonymous with idleness. Hammond describes walking as a perfect balance between nothingness and newness – we seem to be doing nothing special, and yet we return refreshed and rejuvenated.</p><p>Research done at Stanford University confirms that walks improve our creativity. Volunteers taking part in the study went for a walk and were then asked to come up with new applications for a simple object, such as a button. Those people were full of fresh ideas, unlike the other participants, who instead of walking ran on a treadmill or were pushed in wheelchairs. Walking is also a great opportunity to be together without commitment. The French philosopher Frédéric Gros describes it as "shared solitude" – during a walk, we don't even have to talk. Our steps fill the silence.</p><p>The correlation between walking as physical activity and its soothing impact on the mind is also interesting. 16% of the people surveyed said they feel more rested after physical exercise, and 8% found running or jogging relaxing. Why does this kind of effort help us rest? The latest neurological studies show that exercise, even of the most exhausting kind, causes brain activity to reach a state similar to that experienced during meditation.</p><p>It's easy to introduce walks to our daily routine – we can get off the bus one stop early, take a detour on our way home, or give up driving so that we can walk to a tube or tram stop instead. Claudia Hammond also points out that while reaching a state of relaxation requires balance, we can moderate this naturally when walking. It provides an ideal pace of existence, allowing us to absorb our surroundings, letting us think more clearly, and bringing us back to the natural way of experiencing time.</p>
<h3>The muse of idleness</h3><p>Fifth place on the list is occupied by "not doing anything in particular", which causes us to feel so much guilt that we keep coming up with various euphemisms to describe it: taking it easy, chilling, hanging out. We are afraid of idleness and just laying down, as it is associated with wrongdoing that can drag us down. A staggering 10% of us feel guilty at the very thought of any kind of rest. Where does this come from? It stems directly from our culture, which rewards those who are constantly busy and relentlessly working, giving them high social status and portraying them as more important – after all, they are needed. In such a system of values, there is no space left for being motionless, or even for taking a break. We are becoming more and more like our smartphones: never turned off, forever on standby, endlessly updating. Such a way of living has become normal not just to those working in the City of London, but also to the stallholders in Vietnam.</p><p>This vision of a 'good life' is linked directly to capitalism. In its global kingdom that is the US, only 74% of all employees enjoy the privilege of paid vacation, and it's still much shorter than the European average. And yet, doing nothing and taking time off is a matter of life and death. In her book, Hammond quotes several research studies that prove good rest extends our lifespan. Interestingly (and practically, too), even short breaks – such as micro-rests that last just a few minutes during our daily grind – are beneficial. That's already enough to help us work more productively and feel better. So get up, leave your desk and take a look through the window, make a cup of tea, or do anything that isn't work and lets you unwind a little.</p><p>For example, try listening to your favourite music, as it's the fourth most effective way of resting. The kind of music you choose doesn't matter. If you believe in the healing properties of Mozart's masterpieces and listen to them on a loop in the hope that they will make you a genius, you can give it a break and play some Rihanna if that's how you feel. As it turns out, an eclectic music taste also supports relaxation, as it helps us choose the style that corresponds best with our needs at any given time. Since everything in life is prone to constant change, it's best to have our private playlists for any occasion. Many respondents say music 'cleanses' them, and they find it most relaxing when they are alone.</p><h3>Me, myself and I</h3><p>"I want to be on my own" was the third most desired way of experiencing relaxation. Why do so many of us feel most rested when alone? After all, humans are social and political animals, and we owe our evolutionary success to our ability to adapt and cooperate. Even the human brain has the qualities of a highly-socialized organ. Hammond analysed various studies to conclude that the right dose of solitude provides relief from the social functions and requirements that we face in relationships and situations in which we are required to fulfil various roles and expectations. She also provides an interesting definition of solitude, as opposed to loneliness. Thanks to new technologies, we are rarely ever truly alone with no external stimuli; almost never truly free from the impression of being always watched and judged. Still, the same technologies increase our feeling of isolation and are just a simulation of genuine relationships. Again, it's all about proportions. Referring to several psychological studies, the author points out that it's not about the number of social relationships, but rather their quality. Just a handful of close relationships are enough to make us feel satisfied and, therefore, happy to experience some solitude without anxiety.</p><p>However, Hammond points out something even more interesting: we fail to notice how much time we already spend on our own anyway. On average, we spend 29% of every day alone, including commuting to work, which we can spend on daydreaming if we take public transport. It's worth evaluating the time we spend in solitude. That's the first step towards making the most of those moments.</p><h3>Nature and reading</h3><p>The second most relaxing activity turns out to be spending time surrounded by nature. In this case, instinct also proves to be our most important ally – we can feel that nature soothes us; it heals the mind and calms racing thoughts. Just a brief walk among the trees and looking at the surface of a lake is enough to help us wind down. Research shows that even looking at pictures of trees for a short time improves our productivity at work. Why? We don't know, and it seems to be very difficult for scientists to really put their finger on it. The most likely answer is that nature provides good conditions for introspection, allowing us to feel part of a larger order, enabling us to view ourselves in a broader existential context. Perhaps only then can we find <em>eudaemonia</em> – the state of flourishing and balanced fulfilment of our needs.</p><p>We have already walked, bathed and daydreamed… What could possibly give us an even deeper sense of relaxation? Which activity did people all over the globe describe as the most relaxing? The answer is reading.</p><p>Since 1928, we have known that reading is a soothing activity. That was when Edmund Jacobson, the pioneer researcher on rest, sought the activity that is best for relaxation of the mind and muscles. However, after Jacobson, scientists paid surprisingly little attention to what most of us find so obvious – the fact that there aren't many things as lovely as losing oneself in a good book and forgetting about the whole world! A staggering 58% of The Rest Test respondents said they find reading the most relaxing of all activities. Why is this result so surprising? Mainly because reading requires a lot of cognitive effort, as it engages the brain in a way that activates many complex neural pathways.</p><p>Hammond explains: "We read the letters. We form words from them. We take meaning from those words. We relate that meaning to what we've read before. We reach into our own memories. We create images in our minds. We mentally simulate the action, the sights and the sounds of the scenes. Meanwhile, we use what psychologists refer to as 'theory of mind' to inhabit the characters' minds in order to understand their motivations, to imagine their thoughts, to feel their feelings."</p><p>Sounds rather complicated, doesn't it? But it only confirms the conclusion that comes from examining the entire top-10 list: rest rarely means passivity. There is surprisingly little scientific research following the correlation between reading and our health and relaxation, but the available data confirms that reading aids falling asleep, as well as lowering our blood pressure and blood cortisol levels. One of the reasons why we rest better while reading than while watching a movie is the control we have over the content. It's up to us how we imagine the characters and events described, how fast we pace through the story and how much we engage in it. All this doesn't stand in opposition to the effect of deep engagement; by reading, we develop many skills, such as empathy, since it is an exercise in understanding other people and their behaviours.</p><p>Csíkszentmihályi, whom I mentioned earlier, found that people who read achieve a state of flow close to a trance. Interestingly, reading seems to have a similar effect to encountering nature: when reading, we manage to forget our own life and lose ourselves in someone else's experiences, but also, indirectly, we connect to our inner self and descend to some deeper level of self-contemplation. Neurological analyses of brain activity during reading show that it is neither resting nor fully concentrated. When we read, our thoughts start floating.</p><p>Research conducted at the University of Southern California suggests that when we read, our neural paths are busy looking for connection and meaning within the text that are linked to our past experiences or thoughts about the future. Therefore, while being present in the story we are reading, we maintain close contact with our inner self. We often think that resting is meant to clear the mind, but it seems that charging it with new stories and people makes us most relaxed instead. And here is some really good news: research on the connection between reading and longevity shows that regular contact with literature adds on average two more years to our lifespan.</p><h3>The pandemonium of the pandemic</h3><p>The conclusions of The Rest Test and Claudia Hammond's analyses could be – as the author jokingly says herself – considered obvious. "No shit, Sherlock!" we might say mockingly. After all, most of us can feel all those things science is trying so hard to prove; Hammond's book did not teach me anything I hadn't already learnt during my trip to Cornwall.</p><p>And yet, resting is not something we achieve easily, as confirmed by the Durham research. Relaxation is not a natural part of our lives and does not occur spontaneously. In our everyday reality that fizzes with tasks and commitments, resting requires some conscious effort and sensible promises to make some space for it. One of the most valuable points made in <em>The Art of Rest </em>is a simple truth about being an adult: it's this stage of life in which the to-do list is never going to end. No matter how many items you cross out, new ones keep on appearing. The wheel won't stop spinning. And what's the researcher's advice?</p><p>First, accept the reality of it. Second, don't be delusional. In half a year from now, your situation won't be radically different. Don't accept an invitation to another conference, don't take on that extra project. If you don't have time for it now, you won't have more time tomorrow.</p><p>The experience of the pandemic makes this conclusion even clearer, reminding us that rest is something that requires particular protection and care. According to Hammond, one of the most essential conditions of experiencing rest is the freedom in deciding how we spend our time. Many people have lost this freedom due to quarantine and the restrictions caused by the need for self-isolation and minimizing the risk of COVID-19 infections. In some extreme cases, isolation can lead to a disintegration of personality and cause the feeling of not existing at all.</p><p>But even the simple limitations that we've become used to during lockdown – the inability to go for a walk, spend a day outside, or simply be alone for a while after days on end spent with other household members – have seriously limited our options when it comes to rest. We no longer had to commute or drive kids to school, getting to stay at home all day. Many of us expected it to be more restful this way, but instead, we have become more frustrated: we lost access to the most relaxing activities during a time when we were constantly bombarded with existential dread. We feared for ourselves and our loved ones, worrying about our health and lives, about work and finances, and about losing the everyday reality we created with so much effort.</p><p>When we return to normal – or what the experts expect to be 'the new reality' – our instinct might lead us in one of two directions. We might feel infinite exhaustion and a need for proper deep rest. Or we might decide that our fear for survival is more important, and let it push us forward so that after a period of unprecedented deprivation of rest, we end up working harder than ever before in a desperate effort to make up for the lost time.</p><p>If we read Hammond's book carefully, we will know that we should choose the former. Even if we can't take time off work, we should try and make mini-breaks and add little pockets of relaxation to our overloaded days. And most of all, avoid taking on additional commitments. Let's not amp up our pace of life, wound-up as it already is.</p><p>"Have you found yourself a hobby? Something that helps you relax?" This time, my psychiatrist's kind voice meets me through my computer screen.</p><p>In the time of the pandemic, our meetings need to be kept at a safe half-distance, provided by technology. I really don't want to let him down, so I give my hopeful answer:</p><p>"Does it count if I walk the dog while listening to audiobooks?"</p><p>I wait for the pixelated shape to regain the familiar features of my doctor's face. Here it is, smiling.</p><p>"Wonderful! As long as you don't take on too much work. Have you learned it already?"</p><p>"Learned what?"</p><p>"How to refuse. It's the first step on the path towards proper rest."</p><p><em>Translated from <a href="https://przekroj.pl/spoleczenstwo/wyzsza-szkola-wypoczynku-paulina-wilk" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">the Polish</a> by Aga Zano</em></p><p>Reprinted with permission of <a target="_blank" href="https://przekroj.pl/en/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Przekrój</a>. Read the <a href="https://przekroj.pl/en/society/the-lost-art-of-rest-paulina-wilk" target="_blank">original article</a>. </p>
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It's good to be able to accept what there is. And although one does not need to apply this skill always or without moderation, it is one of the most important exercises for the human spirit.
<p>There is a playful summary of the history of philosophy – written, I think, by Leszek Kołakowski – where every philosopher is given one fourth of a sentence. "Aristotle: stick to the Middle state between, you will not die." "Hegel: God has dissolved throughout the world because he had to." "Thales: because, water." And the Stoics? "Stoics: it is good the way it is."</p><p>This principle is witty, accurate, and yet simultaneously problematic. Specifically, it is problematic precisely because it is accurate. Because stoicism (at least the ancient variety) really tries to convince us that what there is, is good. In other words (one could say, with irony, that philosophy itself is based on such word play), stoicism is the art of convincing oneself that the way things are is good.</p><p>'It is good the way it is'. 'Come to terms with it'. 'Take life as it comes'. These phrases are wonderfully ambivalent, not in their meaning, but in the reflection they bring. On the one hand, they contain a profound, universal wisdom. It is no coincidence that the themes of 'coming to terms' and 'acceptance' appear in a wide variety of schools and traditions of thought – from Stoics and Buddhists to pantheists and practitioners of all kinds of modern-day mindfulness. Yes, this is the profound, fundamental truth about human life, one of its mysteries; one way to live on this Earth and not go mad. It's good to be able to reconcile, and accept what there is. And although one does not need to apply this skill always and without moderation – and although it will not be useful for everyone – it is undoubtedly one of the most important exercises and perspectives for the human spirit.</p>
<p>On the other hand, it is, in essence, painfully banal. After all, what's easier, more trivial, clichéd than saying: "You have to come to terms with what you cannot change"; "You have to accept the facts"; "You have to deal with what there is". This truth has been explored through hundreds of generations, in thousands of languages. It is outdated, graphomaniac even. It is trivial not only because we've internalized this wisdom, we've profanated and McDonaldized it. It is also trivial in the sense that it is radically simple. The idea of 'accepting things as they are' is just so painfully simple. So simple, in fact, that it seems... empty. It is almost a tautology – there's nothing to talk about here.</p><p>And if one cannot talk about it, it's easy to sneer. The idea of 'acceptance', 'reconciling with life', is constantly and regularly ridiculed as a kind of ornament that looks impressive, but does not bring anything to the table and perhaps even makes things worse. Online projects such as "Zdelegalizować coaching i rozwój osobisty" [Outlaw coaching and personal development] and "Magazyn Porażka" [Failure Magazine] provide healthy but miserable ridicule. Sneering, which often develops into solid social critique. A concrete example: at the beginning of this year (and the new decade – after a few months, it still sounds good) the news that Starbucks refused their employees a pay increase and instead offered a meditation app was widely debated online. In short: we will not give you money, but a tool to come to terms with the fact that you have so little of it. The grating is obvious: something is not working here, something is disproportionate. The idea of 'reconciling' and 'accepting the world as it is', noble in its intention, is used here for an ugly, oppressive purpose.</p><p>We could say: <em>Yes to acceptance, no to pathologies</em>. And yet we have to be careful not to slip into the said cliché. One precaution might be – attention! I am about to take a leap, hopefully not <em>salto mortale</em> – to turn to Anselm from Canterbury and his proof of the existence of God. I do not mean the proof itself, but its status and context. This proof, today known as ontological evidence, was not invented (by a Christian bishop thinker in 11th-century Europe) in order to really persuade anyone. The point of proving God's existence is not to convert anyone into a believer. The point – at least of Anselm's proof – was to show that, beginning with our faith in God and travelling on the great and complicated paths of reason, we will finally arrive at the same faith from which we departed. Logical reasoning will confirm what is known through faith. The point of departure and arrival is trivial, if only because it is one and the same. All value lies in what we learn along the way.</p>
<p>And it is kind of similar with acceptance, reconciliation with life. Of course, this idea is trivial, radically simple, and because of this simplicity a bit graphomaniac. However, the secret lies in how we reach it. Entire volumes have already been written about these paths, and new ones are still being produced. I am still writing new ones myself, and if nothing bad happens along the way, they will land in bookstores sooner than the next issue of "Przekrój".</p><p>Let's take another leap now: from Anselm to... Sartre. Because it was Sartre who pointed out somewhere that we, humans, have a fundamental problem with objects and substances that drag, smudge, are sticky and are difficult to clean. This doesn't really require an explanation, especially for those of you for whom the abbreviation OCD is not some mysterious acronym (I see you, brothers and sisters!). Favourite trousers stained with grease, shampoo spilled in the toiletries bag, dog shit on a fluffy carpet. Nobody likes that kind of thing.</p><p>Why am I even writing about it? Sartre – if I am not mistaken – draws attention to the deeper sense of our aversion to stickiness. We don't like it, because it blurs the difference between us and the outside world. In everyday life, we feel this difference quite strongly. My 'I' ends somewhere on the border of my skin, body, clothes. External things are beyond me, they are not mine. And, to some extent, I recognize that they are not mine, that they are not <em>with me</em>, that if I want, I can get up, leave, and move away from them. The spatial dimension emphasizes this difference between an external object and me.</p><p>But viscosity negates this. If I sit on old chewing gum, I will not be able to clean it easily off of my trousers. I will not be able to separate myself from it easily; there won't be a single pleasant moment of separation that will give me soothing confidence that me and the gum are separate. What is viscous is not only physically sticky – it also gets stuck to my 'I' and disturbs the pleasant awareness that my being is clearly defined and its boundaries are defined.</p>
<p>What does this have to do with anything? A lot! If 'acceptance' can indeed elude banality, it is not in objectively painful matters, but precisely in ambiguous, sticky ones. "Deal with the fact that you are mortal, with the loss that you will no longer fulfil your youthful dreams." These are all difficult, sad issues – often tragic, sometimes unmanageable. What connects them, however, is that we know – at least in theory – what this state of arriving at them should look like; we know what it means to come to terms with death, separation or lost dreams. There are suitable prescriptions – perhaps bitter, but they are there.</p><p>However, are they still valid when things get sticky and ambiguous? That is the question! Death, loss, lost dreams – these are blows to the 'I', which (in principle) attack my 'I' from the outside. As long as the difference between 'I' and 'not I' is determined, I at least recognize the field of struggle. It is much harder when these differences begin to blur. Here, of course, I do not mean that the Stoic will find it harder to accept gum on his bottoms or grease on his shirt. I mean situations that 'smudge', 'spill', and 'stick' – and, as such, undermine the boundary between 'I' and the outside world.</p><p>The experience of parenthood, with its crumbling piles of dozens of items, bags and parcels that need to be dragged around the world with you and the baby. The experience of a difficult family relationship that we would have ended a long time ago if it was a stranger, which goes on and on, and doesn't end because there is something of a life sentence about it. The experience of mental health problems or the nightmare of depression that does not attack me from the outside, but breaks down my 'I' from the inside. Such situations are the most difficult to accept, because the boundary between who is doing the accepting and what is to be accepted is rather blurred. Here, stoicism, but also more broadly, every maximalist philosophy that sees thing in black and white, finds a worthy challenge.</p><p><em>Translated from </em><a href="https://przekroj.pl/spoleczenstwo/o-akceptacji-czyli-banal-a-lepkosc-piotr-stankiewicz" target="_blank"><em>the Polish</em></a><em> by Joanna Figiel</em></p><p>Reprinted with permission of <a target="_blank" href="https://przekroj.pl/en/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Przekrój</a>. Read the <a href="https://przekroj.pl/en/society/on-acceptance-piotr-stankiewicz" target="_blank">original article</a>.<br></p>
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