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Whether you see him as Herman Cain, The Herminator, or Herman the Horrible—any way you slice it, the Cain Controversy owns the GOP presidential nominee narrative for the foreseeable future. 
The USB stick in your hand contains a zip file with your genome on it. You insert the drive into the side of your computer and click the button on the screen that says “Upload.” The machine spits out a prognosis. The secret to your very own personal happiness.