Orgasms! Enjoyed alone or with a friend, everybody loves them, and have done for centuries. What's more, orgasms are whole-brain events with verifiable healing qualities. But according to a recent study, 43% of heterosexual men don't know one when they see it.
Amongst the findings in a wide-ranging study (available here) by Brigham Young University, 43% of husbands in a 1,683-person study group of heterosexual newlywed couples misperceived whether their wife had an orgasm. In simpler terms, that means that close to half of the men in the study overestimated how often their partners experience an orgasm.
Of the women surveyed, 49% said they experience orgasms between 80%-100% of the time, which is significantly lower than the percentage of men who orgasm; 87% of the men polled said they "almost always" orgasm between 80%-100% of the time. Yet this does nothing for the overall improvement of the relationship. Per the study:
One of the biggest takeaways from the study is that wives’ orgasm appears to have a unique positive association with sexual satisfaction, even after taking into account other aspects of the orgasm experience and sexual communication, as wives’ self-reported orgasm was linked with their own sexual satisfaction, and husbands’ perceiving their wives to be orgasmic reported higher sexual satisfaction. This study is not suggesting that husbands’ orgasms are not important, rather they are ubiquitous.
Men did appear to overvalue their ability to create female orgasm, which is perhaps why 43% of the men misjudged. In the words of the study itself: "with only 49% of wives being consistently orgasmic, this study provides evidence that attentiveness to the wife’s orgasm experience may promote greater sexual satisfaction for both husbands and wives."
Ultimately, the study is about sexual communication and how that can benefit the relationship. If you're a selfish lover, perhaps it's time to reach out and ask your partner what they want. Because you don't want to fall into the 43% of dudes who aren't asking or aren't paying enough attention. Don't try too hard, have fun, and be yourself.