Koi Assisted Birth

Waterbirths are so passe. Today’s elite stunt-birther wants the obstetrical equivalent of a fish pedicure, a koi assisted birth.

From the FAQ:

Why koi?

Koi, or 錦鯉, are ornamental varieties of domesticated Cyprinus carpio). Koi are excellent birthing partners. Female koi give birth to thousands or tens of thousands of babies with the assistance of their male companions. That’s exactly the kind of birthing energy I want! Also, we know that reducing stress levels promotes a healthy, safe, faster birth. I can’t think of anything more stressless than floating in a warm water tank, letting go and letting my fish companions guide me through birth.

[…]

What does your midwife think?

Well, it’s not up to her. She can have her babies her way, and I’ll do my birth my way.

Her ichthyologist isn’t thrilled about heating the tank up to birthing temperature, but what does she know? A PhD is just a piece of paper. Trust birth!

Carp(e) Diem, ladies.

For readers who are scratching their heads (or flaring their gills) in confusion, check out Dr. Amy Tuteur’s post on the waterbirth offshoot of the natural childbirth movement.

[Photo credit: Jcolman, Creative Commons.]