Knowing how to behave in the #MeToo era
Harassment isn't about your intention. It's about your impact, explains Michael Kaufman.
Michael Kaufman, PhD, is the co-founder of the White Ribbon Campaign, the largest effort in the world of men working to end violence against women. As a writer and speaker, he has worked across America and in almost 50 countries, including extensively with the United Nations, numerous governments, NGOs, and businesses. He is the author or editor of eight books on gender issues, on democracy and development studies, including The Guy's Guide to Feminism, Theorizing Masculinities, and most recently,
The Time Has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution.
MICHAEL KAUFMAN: I do speak to some men who say, "God, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells these days." And the sad thing about that, if they are feeling that, is that we lose, I think we lose our intelligence if we're always feeling 'I have to be overcautious or overprotective' or any of that. There is such an important role for just that spontaneity, that just warmth, being able just to relate to our co-workers and others with genuine warmth, where that's possible.
I think part of the confusion is the approach that we've tended to have to matters around sexual harassment. I visited so many companies where they'll say, "We have our policy," and they'll hold up this 1,000 pages of dense legalism, legalese, about 'this is our sexual harassment policy' and it sort of outlines every sort of thing you can't do, and this and that. And it's just nonsense. It's nonsense because that's not the reality of workplace harassment. Or it's not the total reality of workplace harassment.
One of the things I talk about in the book is a framework I developed that I call red light, green light. So think of a traffic light. A red light is very clear. Stop, you don't do this. And so when we think of harassment, yes, you do not offer someone a job in exchange for sex. Now, that's pretty rare actually these days. It still happens. And the stories from Hollywood tells us it still happens. So yes, we need strong rules and regulations and action if we see that so-called quid pro quo harassment happening. That's the red light. We say you cannot do this at work. The green light is also pretty easy to deal with. It means you can be friendly to co-workers. Green lights don't tend to get people into trouble. Think, though, in a city where most accidents happen. Most accidents happen at intersections and they happen when the light is changing. When there's no clear red light or green light; there is this ambiguous orange, yellow, amber whatever you call it light in the middle. And I think that's where our focus a lot of our focus on the prevention of sexual harassment, education and training of managers around sexual harassment has to happen. It's in that amber zone.
So for example, is it OK if I compliment you? Is it OK to say, hey, you're looking good today? Is it OK if I say that outfit is fantastic? Is it OK if I flirt with a co-worker? Is it OK if I ask someone on a date? Is it OK if I touch someone? And the answer is: It depends. It depends on the impact. It depends on exactly what you say, on who you say it to, on your work relationship, on your personal relationship. That touch, it depends on what you touch; that compliment, on your body language, your expression, what you're complimenting, on and on. We've got to focus and these are like the amber light. It's a warning sign so we've got to focus our training of managers and staff on these areas of confusion, of "maybe, maybe not," to really develop language and a sensitivity that harassment is about impact. It's not about your intention. Your intention might be to be wonderful and welcoming; it's not about your intention. It's about impact. And so we've really got to shift our language, our discussion around workplace harassment. Yes, to include the most obvious, blatant things that include, essentially, sexual assault. But we have to go beyond that to include all these more subtle, the amber light, the yellow zone, the orange light whatever we call it area.
- In the #MeToo era, many men feel they're walking on eggshells and can't say anything anymore.
- Companies must refocus their policies away from 1,000 page "don't do this" manuals and address the gray areas that are most confusing, like: Can you give a colleague a compliment?
- Workplace harassment training should focus on the principle that sexual harassment is about impact of your words or actions; it's not about your intention.
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The pandemic reminds us that our higher education system, with all its flaws, remains a key part of our strategic reserve.
- America's higher education system is under great scrutiny as it adapts to a remote-learning world. These criticisms will only make higher ed more innovative.
- While there are flaws in the system and great challenges ahead, higher education has adapted quickly to allow students to continue learning. John Katzman, CEO of online learning organization Noodle Partners, believes this is cause for optimism not negativity.
- Universities are pillars of scientific research on the COVID-19 frontlines, they bring facts in times of uncertainty and fake news, and, in a bad economy, education is a personal floatation device.
A debate is raging inside and outside of churches.
- Over 1,200 pastors in California claim they're opening their churches this week against state orders.
- While church leaders demand independence from governmental oversight, 9,000 Catholic churches have received small business loans.
- A number of re-opened churches shut back down after members and clergy became infected with the novel coronavirus.
An MIT system uses wireless signals to measure in-home appliance usage to better understand health tendencies.
For many of us, our microwaves and dishwashers aren't the first thing that come to mind when trying to glean health information, beyond that we should (maybe) lay off the Hot Pockets and empty the dishes in a timely way.
An innovation may lead to lifelike evolving machines.
- Scientists at Cornell University devise a material with 3 key traits of life.
- The goal for the researchers is not to create life but lifelike machines.
- The researchers were able to program metabolism into the material's DNA.
Online dating has evolved, but at what cost?
- Some dating apps allow individuals to interact and form romantic/sexual connections before meeting face to face with the ability to "swipe" on the screen to either accept or reject another user's profile. Popular swipe-based apps include Tinder, Bumble, and OkCupid.
- Research by Western Sydney University and the University of Sydney has linked the experience of swipe-based dating apps to higher rates of psychological distress and/or depression.
- Not all time spent on these apps is damaging, however. Up to 40 percent of current users say they previously entered a serious relationship with someone they met through one of these apps.