Banish the Masterpieces!
For almost 2000 years, Western Art has groped about in the darkness, laboring under the Ptolemaic misconception that Earth (and humankind) is at the center of all things. Until now.
For almost 2000 years, Western Art has groped about in the darkness, laboring under the Ptolemaic misconception that Earth (and humankind) is at the center of all things. Until now. On October 20th, 2011, artist and philosopher Jonathon Keats will unleash a Copernican revolution in the arts that will erase the vibrant landscapes of Van Gogh, the mind-bending portraits of Picasso, even the tortured dystopic visions of Bacon – replacing them with a featureless field of beige.
"After millennia of egocentric navel-gazing,” says Keats, “astronomers learned from Copernicus that there's nothing special about us. We're on an average planet in a typical galaxy, and that's to our advantage because it lets us assume that whatever we observe here, like the speed of light or the forces within atoms, will be the same everywhere."
Yet across the art world, the navel-gazing continues. How else to explain the $8 million artist Damien Hirst received for The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living: a shark carcass preserved in formaldehyde.
The necessary carnage will not be confined to the visual arts. According to an anonymous source, Mr. Keats also intends to transform cooking, “applying Copernican principles to cuisine by producing a universal anti-seasoning that gives any dish the homogeneity of the cosmos. Blind taste tests have shown that his new condiment makes everything bland.”
What’s the Significance?
What we’re witnessing here is nothing less than the healing of the ancient schism between Art and Science. At last, we will all be on the same page about our puny place in the universe.
Art collectors will have to find another hobby, as no post-revolution artwork will be more valuable than any other. Museums and arts organizations around the world will no longer find themselves embroiled in Mapplethorpian controversies about what constitutes ‘art.’ Instead, they will be faced with the challenge of which among millions of identical paintings to hang in their galleries.
And for home cooks who may not have access to Mr. Keats’ Universal Anti-Seasoning, yet wish to participate in some small way in the revolution, we offer the following recipe:
2. Add rice.
4. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 30 minutes.
Upstreamism advocate Rishi Manchanda calls us to understand health not as a "personal responsibility" but a "common good."
- Upstreamism tasks health care professionals to combat unhealthy social and cultural influences that exist outside — or upstream — of medical facilities.
- Patients from low-income neighborhoods are most at risk of negative health impacts.
- Thankfully, health care professionals are not alone. Upstreamism is increasingly part of our cultural consciousness.
The Bajau people's nomadic lifestyle has given them remarkable adaptions, enabling them to stay underwater for unbelievable periods of time. Their lifestyle, however, is quickly disappearing.
- The Bajau people travel in small flotillas throughout the Phillipines, Malaysia, and Indonesia, hunting fish underwater for food.
- Over the years, practicing this lifestyle has given the Bajau unique adaptations to swimming underwater. Many find it straightforward to dive up to 13 minutes 200 feet below the surface of the ocean.
- Unfortunately, many disparate factors are erasing the traditional Bajau way of life.
We explore the history of blood types and how they are classified to find out what makes the Rh-null type important to science and dangerous for those who live with it.
- Fewer than 50 people worldwide have 'golden blood' — or Rh-null.
- Blood is considered Rh-null if it lacks all of the 61 possible antigens in the Rh system.
- It's also very dangerous to live with this blood type, as so few people have it.
An innovation may lead to lifelike evolving machines.
- Scientists at Cornell University devise a material with 3 key traits of life.
- The goal for the researchers is not to create life but lifelike machines.
- The researchers were able to program metabolism into the material's DNA.
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