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Weddings in the Social Media Age
“To a single woman, a lifetime of weddings can begin to seem like a nuptial-themed Groundhog Day; we guests behaving slightly differently each time within the same basic framework,” writes Jen Doll in her new memoir Save the Date: The Occasional Mortifications of a Serial Wedding Guest. Doll will be the first to admit that her behavior as a serial wedding goer has fallen under every conceivable category — good, bad and ugly. But through the total sum of these experiences, or “societal, photographic special days” as she calls them, she gained an understanding of the way modern weddings have become a staging area for self-definition.
So you’ve been to 17 weddings?
I’ve actually been to 30 of them. It’s just that I had to cut it down to 17 weddings for the book.
30 weddings. That’s a lot of cake.
I know there are people who’ve been to more weddings than I have. I didn’t write the book to say, “I’ve been to the most weddings of all humans so I know the most!” But as I kept going to them at different stages in my life, I did start thinking about what weddings mean to us as guests, and what they mean to us as humans trying to find our way.
And so what do you think weddings say about our society today?
We’re living in a time of extremes. Weddings and marriages themselves have been described as being the best of the best or the worst of the worst. But a standard marriage isn’t something that we talk about anymore — the kind of marriage where people just get married, because this is what people do. Now a marriage has to be really happy for it to be seen as successful, and the wedding has to be really fabulous for it to be seen as successful.
Is there more pressure today than in the past? Why do you think that is?
I think there’s a heightened sense that weddings need to be a representation of the uniqueness and specialness of the couple’s relationship, which leads to them being overhyped and overblown. People are going as far as to hire a social media concierge and purchase other crazy wedding add-ons that drive the cost of the wedding up. Too often there’s a feeling that going to a church, having a simple ceremony attended by 30 guests, and then going to a nice dinner is not enough.
Do you think social networks like Facebook feed into the overhyping of weddings?
That photo of the bride and groom on Facebook is a projection of how the couple wants to be seen. Then we see the photo and what happens is that we project ourselves onto that image. It comes back at us. We think, “Oh, they seem really happy. I don’t have what they have. Does this mean I’m lost and miserable? Does this mean they’ve figured it out and I haven’t? Does this mean they’re idiots?”
Right. Are we bad people for being annoyed by the length some couples go to show their matrimonial bliss to the rest of the world?
We can’t help but have conflicting feelings – happiness, jealousy, delight, self-doubt – when people put forth these moments that seem so wonderful and we don’t have it. A wedding is orchestrated to mean something. We should remember that a photo does that same thing. What it shows might not be the truth.
Sometimes far from it.
The status update above the perfect black-and-white engagement photo on Facebook never reads, “We’re not really sure about this.”
Exactly. “We’re not sure about this, but it’s too late now. The invites are out. So save the date.”
Right. “We just had a huge knock-down, drag out-fight last night. But we’re going to pretend everything is great.” I don’t like the charade aspect of weddings that fail to acknowledge we’re humans and we have complicated feelings and that we love people but we may also hate them. Or certainly that nothing is perfect.
You’ve said that one of the reasons you wrote this book was to speak for the wedding guest. What did you mean by that?
Often, in romantic comedies, we see wedding guests presented in a belittling way. The single women are seen as fighting over the tossed bouquet. A lot of women are happy not to catch the flowers. Just because a woman is 38 years old and single, I don’t think she should be branded with an old maid stamp and not allowed to go out in public without facing mockery.
But you’re not anti-wedding?
If anything, writing this book made me realize how pro-wedding I was. Weddings are beautiful and lovely, but as a woman who has spent a lot of time trying to be independent, you wonder if it’s okay to embrace an institution that hasn’t always perpetuated equality. You need to be a little cynical and a little self-protective.
So would you like to get married? Just to be clear, that’s not a proposal.
[Laughs] I think unless you are a sociopath you want somebody to love and share your life with. But I don’t necessarily want to go about the wedding in an old fashioned way. I think a lot of people share this sentiment. We want our wedding to be a new thing that represents how we feel in terms of an equal state in society. Equality. Independence. Autonomy. And love.
The team caught a glimpse of a process that takes 18,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years.
- In Italy, a team of scientists is using a highly sophisticated detector to hunt for dark matter.
- The team observed an ultra-rare particle interaction that reveals the half-life of a xenon-124 atom to be 18 sextillion years.
- The half-life of a process is how long it takes for half of the radioactive nuclei present in a sample to decay.
Humans are particularly prone to shiver when a group does or thinks the same thing at the same time.
A few years ago, I proposed that the feeling of cold in one's spine, while for example watching a film or listening to music, corresponds to an event when our vital need for cognition is satisfied.
Certain colors are globally linked to certain feelings, the study reveals.
- Color psychology is often used in marketing to alter your perception of products and services.
- Various studies and experiments across multiple years have given us more insight into the link between personality and color.
- The results of a new study spanning 6 continents (30 nations) shows universal correlations between colors and emotions around the globe.
The root of color psychology<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9e40cf62fa8922fcca6c57e2fcb215b6"><iframe type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/OM4fXB23pCQ?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>There is a very likely chance you've even been "fooled" by color marketing in the past, or you've chosen one product over another subconsciously due to colors that were designed to influence your emotions.<br></p><p>Companies that want to be known for being dependable often use blue in their logos, for example (Dell, HP, IBM). Companies that want to be perceived as fun and exciting go for a splash of orange (Fanta, Nickelodeon, even Amazon). Green is associated with natural, peaceful emotions and is often used by companies like Whole Foods and Tropicana. </p><p><strong>Your favorite color says a lot about your personality. </strong></p><p>Various studies and experiments across multiple years (<a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/49595886_Personality_Traits_and_Colour_Preferences" target="_blank">2010</a>, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jopy.12087" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">2014</a>, <a href="http://oaji.net/articles/2015/1170-1448038739.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">2015</a>, and more recently in <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/color-psychology-2795824#modern-research-on-color-psychology" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">2019</a>) have given us more insight into the link between your personality and your favorite color.</p><p>Red, for example, is considered a bold color and is associated with feelings such as excitement, passion, anger, danger, energy, and love. The personality traits of this color might be someone who is bold, a little impulsive, and who loves adventure. </p><p>Orange, on the other hand, is considered representative of creativity, happiness, and freedom. The personality traits of this color can be fun, playful, cheerful, nurturing, and productive. Read more about color psychology and personalities <a href="https://bigthink.com/mind-brain/color-personality-psychology?rebelltitem=2#rebelltitem2" target="_self">here</a>.</p>
Study reveals which colors best suit which emotions around the globe<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDYzMTk5OS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyODc4OTg5OH0.bY-pu-MFNivdJLDJuBp9TBKrhwuy7hngUa1aIWxQMVw/img.jpg?width=1245&coordinates=0%2C93%2C0%2C94&height=700" id="33fff" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1a5d7bb00dac94bd6201616789fb4882" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="concept of color psychology how colors make us feel color emotions" />
Certain colors are globally ties to certain emotions, the study reveals.
Image by agsandrew on Shutterstock<p>In this particular survey, participants were asked to fill out an online questionnaire which involved assigning 20 emotions to 12 different color terms. They were also asked to specify the intensity with which they associated the color term with the emotion.</p><p><strong>Certain colors are globally linked to certain emotions, the study reveals.</strong></p><p>The results of this study showed a few definite correlations between colors and emotions throughout the globe. Red, for example, is the only color that is strongly associated with both negative (anger) and positive (love) feelings. Brown, on the other end of the spectrum, is the color that triggers the fewest emotions globally.<br></p><p>The color white is closely associated with sadness in China, while purple is what is closely associated with sadness in Greece. This can be traced back to the roots of each culture, with white being worn at funerals in China and dark purple being the Greek Orthodox Church's color of mourning. </p><p>Yellow is more associated with joy, specifically in countries that see less sunshine. Meanwhile, its association with joy is weaker in areas that have greater exposure to sunshine. </p><p><a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/09/200910150247.htm" target="_blank">According to Dr. Oberfeld-Twistel</a>, it is difficult to say exactly what the causes for global similarities and differences are. "There is a range of possible influencing factors: language, culture, religion, climate, the history of human development, the human perceptual system."</p>