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Politics & Current Affairs

Twitter on Politics, Part II

Bloggers, as most know, are exceptionally lazy people. Mostly, we sit around in our underwear playing flash games. Only occasionally do we get off the sofa to whip off some poorly thought-out screed in a cheeto-fueled rage. Naturally we like to save ourselves the trouble of actually working by simply copying what people on Twitter have to say. It’s called “fair use.” Because buried among seemingly endless tweets about bacon, unicorns, and bodily functions, there is some valuable social commentary. For the holidays I’ve selected some of the cleverest tweets, mostly taken from and the book Twitter Wit. Part one is here. Today, we’re covering global issues, foreign policy, and national security.

International Politics

@badbanana: China has blocked Twitter. Now 1.3 billion people will have no idea what I’m having for lunch.

@badbanana: Did I hear that right? North Korea’s next leader will be Lil’ Kim? That’s going the wrong way on the crazy scale.

@lisarahmat: I planned to buy this $500 bag then I remembered the children in Darfur and wondered what kind of bags they made.

@anamariecox: Scroll now telling me MSNBC covering something called “Iranian Unrest.” That was the B-side of “Billie Jean,” right?

@adamisacson: What Ahmadinejad needs right now is Katherine Harris, some hanging chads and Chief Justice Rehnquist. Oh yeah, and a totally docile public.

@trelvix: Obama promises to pull out of Afghanistan. Afghanistan knows better but is at that awkward age. And Obama is just so dreamy.

@MrBigFists: The army is sending mixed messages to the troops. 1st soldiers were told they can’t pull out. Now they’re being told not to get pregnant.

@adamisacson: After we spend billions on security and good governance in Afghanistan, can we move there? You know, for the security and good governance?

Homeland Security

@GorillaSushi: Aint no party like a Homeland Security party because everyone must have proper ID to enter.

@hijabihipster: Flying while Muslim is the new Driving while Black.

@lisarahmat: Show me on this Muslim where he terrorized you.

The Environment

@iamnotdiddy: OH SHIT! I just rear-ended a Prius! I hope the hypocrites inside didn’t spill their Fair Trade Certified™ coffee on their ChildLabor™ Nikes.

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@theTCAT: If you believe Al Gore, you don’t need to bring your winter coat to Copenhagen.

@clapifyoulikeme: If the trees fall in the Amazon rain forest and no one in Copenhagen hears them, does it matter?

@stephenathome: Climate scientists don’t need tricks to hide their findings. If it’s published in a scientific journal, no one will ever read it.


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