Why “Yes, and…” Might Be the Most Valuable Phrase in Business.
The Intangible: Earn Trust. Be Relatable. Be Influential. Be Creative. Level Status. Resolve Conflict. Leverage Talent. Build Strong Teams.
The Tangible: “Yes, And…”
Outside of an awfully good oxymoron, and with all due respect to a “red herring,” there are few two-word expressions that are as powerful as “Yes, and...”. “Yes, and...” is as effective in the boardroom as it is in the bedroom. It is as practical in a brainstorming session as it is in a debate. It is as striking in negotiating a sale as it is in strengthening a team. “Yes, and...” is cross functional, cross situational, cross cultural, and, once the concept is understood and practiced, truly universal.
“Yes, and...” – Two simple words. Separate, each serves a function (“Yes” – affirmation, positive confirmation, consent; “And” – an addition to, a transition, a connector), and when used together they serve as the cornerstone of communication and the bedrock of brainstorming.
"Yes" means accepting an idea for exactly what it is worth, regardless from where it came; regardless of what it means; and regardless of what you think it means based on from where it came.
"And" means taking that idea and building directly off of it, without trying to forcibly change it or inject an individual agenda.
In a corporate setting “Yes, and...” can be used as a tool for strengthening communication, staying in the moment, alleviating conflict, facilitating exploration, and creating supportive environments.
And what about “No”?
“No” is valid. “No” is succinct. “No” is direct. “No” is definitive.
Sometimes “No” is needed, warranted, and the only correct response. Projects must get done and they must get done correctly.
There is no question: sometimes “No” is the best answer.
As “No” is just, so too are conflict and debate, both of which are sufficient tools for expressing opposing opinions, exploring, and, if used duly, finding common ground.
However, too often “no” is a knee-jerk response formed out of a preexisting habit; conflict, often escalating to argument, is not based out of mutual respect; and debate is not exercised as a tool for communicating differing opinions, but rather served as an excuse for stubbornly representing individual agenda and driving one’s thoughts down a sparring partner’s gullet – the concept of changing someone’s mind as opposed to compromise, exploration, and discovery. Frequently, time constraints, multiple projects, and external pressures dictate that “No” is exercised early and often.
"Yes, and..." encourages each of us to act and react cognitively, in the moment, rather than subconsciously, through force of habit. It is important to understand "Yes, and..." (as well as how it differs from “Yes, But…” and “No”) so that a conscious decision on when and how to use it can be made.
Use “Yes, and…” to…..
Build Strong Teams
Earn trust from your peers and team by understanding and using “Yes, and...” “Yes, and...” is a tool for strengthening communication skills, staying engaged in the moment, building relationships, leveling status, resolving conflicts, and creating a safe environment to share ideas, concerns, questions, and comments openly and without inhibition.
The technical name for brainstorming is "nonjudgmental ideation" (i.e. suspending judgment long enough to come up with ideas). "Yes, and..." is the understructure for suspending judgment. In "Yes, and..." the acceptance of another's idea does not come with qualifiers, restrictions or judgment; rather it comes freely, unabashedly, and openly.
There is a great difference between being a "Yes Man" and saying "Yes, And...." We want diversity. We need unique perspectives. A difference in opinion can be enlightening and inspiring. Individuality is an imperative. And, without sacrificing personal character, we need everyone to work toward the same goals.
“Yes, and...” facilitates communication by enabling you to voice your own perspective while acknowledging what others are saying. It is through this continual exchange of thoughts that we are able to find the common threads of truth within the conflict, and great potential of resolution is ever-present.
Honest, respect-based communication serves as a foundation block to building a safe environment wherein the ideas communicated within the group are not judged on the basis of who said the idea, but rather on the merit of the idea itself and how it fits into the overall agenda of the group or project. “Yes, and...” is a device for creating a safe environment by encouraging the articulation of the individual perspectives of each teammate, acknowledging the importance of each opinion, accepting the ideas for exactly what they are worth, and providing a means of collecting ideas without judgment. When this environment is established, it is easy to leverage talent and maintain a strong, supportive team.
What would happen if you tripled the US population? Join Matthew Yglesias and Charles Duhigg at 1pm ET on Monday, September 28.
Whether or not women think beards are sexy has to do with "moral disgust"
- A new study found that women perceive men with facial hair to be more attractive as well as physically and socially dominant.
- Women tend to associate more masculine faces with physical strength, social assertiveness, and formidability.
- Women who display higher levels of "moral disgust," or feelings of repugnance toward taboo behaviors, are more likely to prefer hairy faces.
Beards and perceptions of masculinity<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjU5OTg0MC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NzkxMjM3N30.cH-GqNwP5GVqvstgJWAhBPn1B_lYpVEAI0I7iax7EQw/img.jpg?width=1245&coordinates=0%2C1900%2C0%2C849&height=700" id="caae6" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="cb0a355a4e8e1899789bc45f3f7aef56" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
Photo Credit: Wikimedia<p>The study used 919 American (mostly white) women ages 18-70 who rated 30 pictures of men they were shown with various stages of facial hair growth. The photographs depicted men with faces that had been digitally altered to look more feminine or more masculine, with a beard and without a beard. The women rated the men according to perceived attractiveness for long-term and short-term relationships. The study found that the more facial hair the men had, the higher the men were rated on their attractiveness, particularly for their suitability for a long-term relationship.</p><p>Part of this might be attributed to facial masculinity — i.e. protruding brow ridge, wide cheekbones, thick jawline, and deeply set narrow eyes — which conveys information to a woman about a man's underlying health and formidability. Women tend to associate more masculine faces with physical strength and social assertiveness. It can also indicate a man with a superior immune response. The researchers suggested that their findings favoring bearded men could be due to the fact that facial hair enhances the masculine facial features on a man's face, like creating the illusion of a thicker jaw line. This could communicate direct benefits to women like resources and protection that would enhance survival among mothers and their infants. In other words, while a beard doesn't mean superior genetics in and of itself, it might be a primitive, ornamental way of saying, "Hey girl, I'm a testosterone-fueled lean, mean, pathogen fighting machine." <br></p><p>It could also be that a beard becomes its own destiny. The researchers in this study cite prior research that found that by growing a beard, men felt more masculine and had higher levels of serum testosterone, which was linked to a higher level of social dominance. They also tended to subscribe to more old-school beliefs about gender roles in their relationships with women as compared to men with clean-shaven faces.<span></span><br></p>
What does disgust have to do with beard preference?<p>Obviously, not all women dig beards. The researchers were particularly interested in what traits make a women prefer bearded men over clean-shaven faces. They looked into several factors including a woman's disgust levels on various concepts, her desire to become pregnant, and her exposure to facial hair in her personal life. </p><p>According to the study, women who were not into facial hair were turned-off by potential parasites or other critters they imagined could be in the hair or skin. Women ranking high on this "ectoparasite disgust" scale might have viewed beards as a sign of poor grooming habits. However, women who ranked higher in levels of "pathogen" did find the bearded men to be desirable, possibly because they perceived beards as a signal of good health and immune function. An intriguing discovery in the study was links to morality. Women who displayed higher levels of "moral disgust," or feelings of repugnance toward taboo behaviors, were more likely to prefer hairy faces. The authors opined that this could reflect a link between beardedness, politically conservative outlooks, and traditional views regarding performances of masculinity in heterosexual relationships.</p>
Additional findings<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjU5OTg1My9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNDI1NjUyOX0.P9B8WbmJR0q4nfzYZKbuNSA-2SAigVWJgrQE-_Gxlds/img.gif?width=980" id="49143" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2ed3b1d6f20fc170bf2974646e565e8d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Giphy<p>The correlations that existed between married and single women's rating on the attractiveness of beards were not particularly clear, although the researchers noted that single and married women who wanted children tended to find beards more attractive than the women who didn't want children. They also found that women with bearded husbands found beards to be more attractive, which might indicate that social exposure to beards influences how desirable they are perceived of as being. Or it could be that men with wives who like beards grow beards.</p><p>It's important to note that culture plays a huge role in how attractive women perceive certain male characteristics as being. This study looked at a small, culturally specific group of American women, so no big, universal claims should be made about masculinity, facial hair, and male desirability to women. However, research like this is important in highlighting how human grooming decisions are driven by much more than fashion trends. Sociobiological, economic, and ecological factors all play a part in the way we choose to present ourselves.</p>
Dominique Crenn, the only female chef in America with three Michelin stars, joins Big Think Live.
Having been exposed to mavericks in the French culinary world at a young age, three-star Michelin chef Dominique Crenn made it her mission to cook in a way that is not only delicious and elegant, but also expressive, memorable, and true to her experience.
New experiments find weird quantum activity in supercold gas.
Quantum Mechanics, Onions, and a Theory of Everything<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="036ae7b8dd661df2d125a3421a0299ba"><iframe type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bcVruA0AJ-o?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span>
Researchers say that moral self-licensing occurs "because good deeds make people feel secure in their moral self-regard."
Books about race and anti-racism have dominated bestseller lists in the past few months, bringing to prominence authors including Ibram Kendi, Ijeoma Oluo, Reni Eddo-Lodge, and Robin DiAngelo.