In the Tinder Age, Even Bad Dates Can Be Useful

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Remember about a decade ago when admitting to taking part in online dating was akin to marching around town wearing a sign reading “ostracize me” from one’s neck? It feels like ages ago because in a matter of years the online dating revolution has completely changed how we perceive relationships and dating. One example of this, keenly alluded to in this article by the folks behind Bad Date Great Story, is how the scale on which we participate in and evaluate dates has shifted. It’s now possible with just a few thumb swipes to maintain an incredibly active dating regimen. This necessarily leads to a larger sample size of dates to assess and, even in the case of lousy outings, to learn from.

The article linked above explains several situations in which you take lemons and make lemonade. The most valuable course of action when on a lukewarm date is to objectively analyze the situation. What’s going wrong? What’s going well? Who is this person really? Why or why not do they fit what you’re looking for? You can take advantage of bad situations like a lousy date by practicing for future better ones. Be introspective and focus on questions like, “What do I like about this person?” and, more importantly, “What do I not like about this person?”

Some people hate when big data and analytics intrude on life events previously treated as intangible — dating is a good example. Casanovas and romantics like to think love and courtship occur within a realm of unquantifiable emotions. They’re wrong. You can quantify almost anything in life if granted the right set of data. You can learn so much by plotting a course through your dates and examining trends as objectively as possible.

Before your next date, consider setting up a spreadsheet (for your sake, perhaps exclude this point from dinner conversation with your prospective partner). Set up a ranking system. Track trends and seek to understand why things work or don’t. What are the patterns? Where can you seek to improve your tact? It’s a fun potential project in introspective self-awareness and a firm example that trial-and-error can only make you better when analyzed the right way.