Nina DiSesa: What lessons have you learned from working in a

Nina DiSesa: I had the biggest half for me as a women working in boys clubs was that I couldn’t, even though I was angry be an equity of the business or I would be angry at the way a man would treat me or other women, I couldn’t really show that and if I got angry if they saw my anger, they would just close down and not listen to me and not really regard me. I have to learn my big epiphany was to try and find something that I really loved about the men, something really enduring and concentrate on that, so that I could manipulate the situation. Men will respond to kindness and affection and praise much quicker then they will respond to yelling at them and telling them that they did something wrong and I kind of learn this when I was really young. My first husband, who was an actor, was a Sicilian and he couldn’t help her around the house, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to, is that he was the first born Sicilian son and he couldn’t do the dishes or clean up so, I work the full time job and I cleaned and I marketed and I cooked and I cleaned up after dinner and I was exhausted and one day I bought a really heavy duty vacuum cleaner and use it for David, so then I said “you know what I am returning this vacuum cleaner, its too much for me, I cannot even wheel it around” and he said “I will do it,” he said “I will do it,” that because it was a manly thing, so he takes a right and for two years he did all the vacuuming and I thought it was fabulous, because he was helping me, he was the man doing the vacuum clean, I positioned it differently and I did not even know it at that time, that I was manipulating him, in a charming way, but because every time vacuumed I really gushed all over him and twice he actually cook dinner, he took a roast out of the refrigerator and he could not meal them, which he was not cooking dinner, I didn’t divorce him anyway, because the dinner did not work out, actually he broke up with me, in an elevator. That is the first page of the book, how he broke up with me in an elevator of the cad, but that’s kind of what I did, I am not a dictatorial person, I was not a good dictator. I knew that I wasn’t going to able to order people around, it was in my nature and I am a women, women don’t do that, its not accepted when a women is a dictator. So, I had to find other ways to get people to do the things that I wanted them to do, so that charming seduction and manipulation was a good way for me to do that. Recorded on: 2/29/08

Men respond to kindness, not criticism.

Related Articles

Human skeletal stem cells isolated in breakthrough discovery

It's a development that could one day lead to much better treatments for osteoporosis, joint damage, and bone fractures.

Image: Nissim Benvenisty
Surprising Science
  • Scientists have isolated skeletal stem cells in adult and fetal bones for the first time.
  • These cells could one day help treat damaged bone and cartilage.
  • The team was able to grow skeletal stem cells from cells found within liposuctioned fat.
Keep reading Show less

How exercise helps your gut bacteria

Gut bacteria play an important role in how you feel and think and how well your body fights off disease. New research shows that exercise can give your gut bacteria a boost.

National Institutes of Health
Surprising Science
  • Two studies from the University of Illinois show that gut bacteria can be changed by exercise alone.
  • Our understanding of how gut bacteria impacts our overall health is an emerging field, and this research sheds light on the many different ways exercise affects your body.
  • Exercising to improve your gut bacteria will prevent diseases and encourage brain health.
Keep reading Show less

Giving octopuses ecstasy reveals surprising link to humans

A groundbreaking new study shows that octopuses seemed to exhibit uncharacteristically social behavior when given MDMA, the psychedelic drug commonly known as ecstasy.

Image: damn_unique via Flickr
Surprising Science
  • Octopuses, like humans, have genes that seem to code for serotonin transporters.
  • Scientists gave MDMA to octopuses to see whether those genes translated into a binding site for serotonin, which regulates emotions and behavior in humans
  • Octopuses, which are typically asocial creatures, seem to get friendlier while on MDMA, suggesting humans have more in common with the strange invertebrates than previously thought
Keep reading Show less