The filmmaker misses seeing perverts having sex in public bathrooms—so he instructs us on the proper technique for inconspicuous bathroom hijinks.

Question: Do celebrities deserve privacy?

John Waters: To me, it isn’t my business of who a celebrity sleeps with.  Who David Letterman slept with, or his marriage—unless he uses a moral stance to put down other people, then it is very much my business to do that, I think.  People that come out against gay rights that are blowing people in bathrooms.  You know, I’m happy they’re blowing people in bathrooms.  I mean, I don’t care if they do that.  I almost have nostalgia for that.  I never go in a bathroom anywhere where I see perverts anymore.  It’s been cleaned up.  It’s online now.  So I miss perverts in the real world.  I miss seeing them.  

However, if you are into that scene, I mean I could have – who was the guy in the airport? Larry Craig.  I could have told him how you do that.  You stand and you... one guy sits on the toilet... blowing and the other guy stands up with both legs in a shopping bag, in separate shopping bags, so when you’re outside the booth it only looks like there’s one person in there.  I mean, it’s easy to get away with that stuff if you want to do it.  But you just have to plan.  You can’t be an amateur at it like he was.

Recorded September 10, 2010
Interviewed by Max Miller