How to break free from your “toxic productivity” cycle

By any definition, Israa Nasir is a model of productivity. Born in Pakistan, she immigrated to Toronto when she was 13. Her studious and curious nature eventually led her to NYU, where she earned a master’s degree in mental health counseling. Then a few years ago, she really hit her stride. She was working in the growing field of digital health, enjoyed a bustling social life in New York City, and had finally started a passion project she aimed to turn into a business.

That was the 100,000-foot view, at least. A closer examination of life on the ground would show that those years of absolutely crushing it were actually crushing her. 

Nasir skipped meals and sacrificed sleep to accommodate longer work hours. She would dart from one social obligation to another rather than appreciate the time with friends and family. She said “yes” to every incoming request regardless of her other commitments. Despite it all, she felt chronically behind.

As she confesses in the opening of her new book, Toxic Productivity, she had reached a point where she needed “to do more to feel more” in every aspect of her life. As she told Big Think, “I thought, ‘This is just the price you pay for ambition. This is what happens if you want to be driven.’ But the biggest red flag was the emotional disconnection.”

That disconnect steered her into a vicious emotional cycle. She would check all the boxes and do all the things, but when she finally got what she worked so hard for, she didn’t feel good. So, she worked more and more to overcome that deficit and emotionally reconnect. Only it didn’t work. Nothing felt good. So she worked more and more.

If that sounds familiar, then you may be suffering from toxic productivity, as well. We recently spoke with Nasir, today a psychotherapist and the founder of the digital mental health brand WellGuide, to better understand the conditions that trap us within that cycle and how we can emerge from it to reclaim a healthier approach toward productivity.

Coming to grips with toxic productivity

Of course, Nasir isn’t arguing that productivity is itself toxic. Many people desire to do meaningful work, develop themselves, and nurture supportive relationships — all of which take work, and sometimes hard work, to accomplish. When certain conditions are met, however, productivity can tip toward the unwholesome. To coin a phrase: It’s the dose that makes the poison.

To help you better determine if you’re overdosing on productivity, Nasir recommends looking for three warning signs in your life.

First, achievement drives your life’s purpose. You aim to reach certain milestones at strict points in your life and see any deviation as a failure. You value the amount of tasks you juggle more than the quality and care you bring to them, and so on. Whatever your unique manifestation of this condition, your life is consumed by the need to achieve.

The second is sidelining life’s other needs in your pursuit. These include health, mental well-being, personal relationships, and just plain having fun. The final warning sign is tying your inherent self-worth to achievement. You only feel good about yourself and accepted by others when you are performing — preferably in ways that match or exceed the accomplishments of others.

Unfortunately, this toxic trio is often self-reinforcing. If you believe you need to produce to be worthy, and you don’t feel worthwhile with what you’ve produced, then the only solution is to do more. But as Nasir notes, “To have healthy productivity, our self-worth and sense of self need to be detached from the outcomes. They need to be inherent.”

Without that, we may adopt all sorts of misguided behaviors and thought patterns, such as:

• Multitasking. Nasir calls this the “biggest lie we were ever sold” since rapidly switching between many different tasks drains our mental reserves quickly and for subpar results.
• Overworking. Research shows longer hours do not equal more productivity. Rather, working in time with our natural rhythms produces better results.
• Binary thinking. You come to filter life’s nuances through an either-or lens. Either you’re ambitious or lazy. You’re a winner or a disgrace. You’re leveling up or losing out.

If toxic productivity persists, Nasir warns, you begin to experience the symptoms of burnout. You lose mental clarity and feel tired all the time. Your irritability spills out to damage your relationships. Your body holds onto stress, which can, over time, lead to physical discomfort and pain.

“I understand the constraints of life, especially modern life that doesn’t have much community so we’re all doing it on our own,” Nasir says. “But if you’re not able to carve out even 20 minutes for yourself, then something needs to change in your life.”

Looking for work-value misalignments

Nasir’s shift away from toxic productivity didn’t start with more doing but rather understanding. Simply put, you can’t change misguided behaviors without first knowing what led you toward them. Without that, any productivity hack, rule, or system will just become one more thing you have to accomplish.

According to Nasir, “Unhealthy productivity behaviors are driven by unaddressed emotions. We hear a lot about how to optimize for productivity, but what we don’t have is the emotional awareness and emotional intelligence around why we pursue the things we pursue.”

Obviously, those unaddressed emotions will be different for everyone; however, in her practice Nasir has found that a common source for these emotions is our internalizing of outside expectations.

This process may begin as early as the family home — for instance, some people whose parents effusively rewarded good grades may associate acceptance with achievement. It may continue as we move into work cultures, where toxic productivity norms may be tacitly approved of, if not outright endorsed. Then there are the messages we receive from the societies and cultures we live in: You should be earning six figures, married by the time you’re 30, going on picture-perfect vacations, and so on. 

As mentioned, not meeting these expectations can lead us to feel as though we are failing or falling behind.

“The mind is not designed to keep you happy. The mind’s primary driver is self-preservation,” Nasir says. “It’s going to use fear to drive you. It’s going to use shame to drive you. It’s going to use guilt to drive you. There are a lot of emotions involved in why we do what we do, and that’s why I think understanding our emotions is key to being productive in a healthy way.”

To correct course, Nasir contends we need to substitute these fear-driven motivations with a values-aligned life. “Our values define our intention and help us allocate our resources, which are the energy and time we have to get the things we want,” she points out. “When you are doing something that is value-aligned, it has a strong impact because you feel connected with what you are doing.”

Once you recognize that, you can reassess your busy schedule to identify those fear-based tasks that consume your time and energy but don’t provide an emotional return on investment. That puts you in a better place to remove them from your to-do list — or, if unavoidable, minimize the drain. That allows you to allocate more time and energy to the value-aligned projects, hobbies, activities, and obligations that boost your well-being.

“Let’s harness the power of understanding our emotions,” Nasir advises. “Let’s not try to be afraid of them or avoid them or think they are irrelevant. There are multiple things we can do, but accessing, understanding, and managing our emotions is a cornerstone to a healthy life.”

From toxic to healthy productivity

Realizing toxic productivity stems from unaddressed emotions and misaligned values? Insightful but also relatively simple next to the difficulty of understanding those emotions and values. To show why, Nasir challenges all of us to write an introduction about ourselves that avoids identity markers associated with achievement. No mention of your job, salary, accomplishments, or other social roles. (And good luck!) 

With that said, Nasir does have some exercises that can help you begin the process of building your self-awareness and emotional intelligence over time.

Start by looking back on your life and see if you can identify strong unifying themes. For instance, if all of your friends and romantic partners exhibited profound kindness, then chances are that’s a core value for you. Similarly, if your favorite jobs and activities push you to develop new skills and never rest on your laurels, then maybe lifelong learning also aligns with your values.

Another exercise is what Nasir calls a “time-energy” audit. Consider how and where you spent your time over the last month. Then rate each task based on how you felt before, after, and while doing it. Your emotional resonance with the task can help you better determine whether you are doing it because it leads you toward your broader life goals or simply for productivity’s sake.

“Values work is deep work,” she notes. “Many people are looking for the shortcut, but there is no shortcut to connecting with your values. It’s something that we have to set an intention for and work towards. 

“[However], once you understand your values, using that lens can help you not only become more intentional. I can help you redefine how you structure your life.”