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How to get better at empathy despite practicing social distancing
Isolation and empathy are by no means mutually exclusive.
10 May, 2020
Photo by Polina Zimmerman via Pexels
- As we began prepping for isolation at home, there was a strange sense of disassociation, as if there was no need to think of or care for others and that it was everyone for themselves.
- The pandemic, interestingly enough, put many of us in a situation of "forced empathy."
- In reality, we are all "first responders" in the need for empathy, as countless anecdotes about inspiring acts of compassion during the pandemic attest.
<p>It was mid-March when most of us realized that whether or not we contracted COVID-19, our lives were about to change pretty dramatically. As we began prepping for a retreat into our "bubbles" to ride it out, there was a strange sense of disassociation.</p><p>It was as if the looming isolation meant there was no need to think of or care for others, that it was <a href="https://bigthink.com/politics-current-affairs/survivalists" target="_self">everyone for themselves</a>.</p><p>We saw this play out with the panicked hoarding of essential supplies, and the way we avoided each other's eyes at the grocery store. We went into this thinking we had to take care of ourselves and our families first, and to an extent that was true. We do need to take responsibility for ourselves.</p><p>Yet I've come to realize in recent weeks that the exact opposite reaction, which we can see taking place around the world as well, is one of the most striking features of the pandemic. Isolation and empathy are by no means mutually exclusive. In fact, if we had acted with more empathy from the start, it's possible that humanity could have dramatically changed the outcome.</p>
Forced solitude calls for empathy
<p>As we retreated, we became isolated. And isolation breeds loneliness, reason enough to act with <em>more</em> empathy.</p><p>Emily Cross, a professor of Social Robotics at Macquarie University, and Anna Henschel, PhD candidate in Psychology & Neuroscience at the University of Glasgow, cite brain scan studies that show subcortical regions being activated differently depending on whether we receive pleasurable or stressful sensations.</p><p>"When we feel lonely and rejected, brain regions associated with distress and rumination are activated," the two <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-neuroscience-of-loneliness-and-how-technology-is-helping-us-136093" target="_blank">recently pointed out</a> in The Conversation. "Lonely people also have a more negative focus and anxiously scrutinise people's intentions. Sometimes this can become so strong that it makes us feel even more lonely – creating a vicious cycle."</p><p>Social media can help break this cycle, but often has the exact opposite effect. Cross and Henschel believe that much of the reinforced loneliness caused by social media can be traced back to the lack of all-important non-verbal cues, such as a facial expressions and body language. "These allow us to gauge the tone and context of a social encounter," they asserted. "When this information is missing, we perceive fewer friendly cues from others."</p><p>I see this every day on social media, as the "middle ground" is shouted down by the strident voices on either side of political divides. While armed protesters <a href="https://bigthink.com/politics-current-affairs/liberty-or-death-the-coronavirus-attacks-the-soul-of-america" target="_self">rail against harried lawmakers</a> and exhausted healthcare workers, I think the majority of us are a bit stunned by what brought us to this place.</p><p>The pandemic, interestingly enough, put many of us in a situation of "forced empathy," as <a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/156943/radical-empathy-coronavirus-panic" target="_blank">Eve Fairbanks recently explained</a> in The New Republic. After traveling internationally and reporting symptoms consistent with COVID-19, she underwent testing then waited four days for her (negative) results.</p><p>"No individual can control a virus, despite what the president might wish," she wrote. "But before I got tested—the current state of millions of Americans—I felt helpless over not only my own fate but also the fate of all the others I might have infected. It's a rare thing to feel a stranger's potential pain so intimately."</p><p>This is why so many of us consent to wearing masks; we aren't necessarily protecting ourselves but protecting others from possible infection. It's forced empathy, and for many, it feels strangely rewarding to act on it.</p>Born empathic or learned behavior?
<p>True empaths already know what it feels like to be keenly aware of other people's needs, stresses, and feelings. In times of widespread stress and anxiety, this can have some significant drawbacks, noted Jonathan Fields, producer of the critically acclaimed <a href="http://www.goodlifeproject.com/radio/" target="_blank">Good Life Project podcast</a>.</p><p>"When someone else is in pain, it can be hard to dissociate from it," <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/awake-the-wheel/201305/feel-live-the-secret-life-empath" target="_blank">Fields recently wrote</a> in Psychology Today. "Whether you know them or not. It can also stop you from being able to help someone else. You're of no use beyond being a warm body to commiserate, when their pain paralyzes you as much as them."</p><p>Yet he believes that "to feel is to live," and we must stay mindful to avoid being drawn in too deeply to others pain, to the point where we are no longer able to help.</p><p>The payoff? Being more empathetic doesn't just help others; it has personal benefits, noted Elizabeth Segal, PhD, in <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-empathy/201812/five-ways-empathy-is-good-your-health" target="_blank">Psychology Today</a>. Segal believes empathy can:</p><ul> <li>Help us make better decisions</li><li>Connect us more deeply to others</li><li>Lower stress</li><li>Provide antidotes to burnout</li><li>Guide our moral compass</li></ul><p>"Empathy is a foundation for the moral behaviors that create healthier communities, from which all of us benefit," she wrote.</p><p>We can learn to show more empathy toward others, and this pandemic gives us a perfect "training ground" if you will. It all starts with simple steps that anyone can master:</p><ul><li>Engage in acts of service</li><li>Observe others acting with empathy</li><li>Listen to others, without the need to insert your own opinion</li><li>Actively imagine yourself in another's position</li></ul>Taking a leadership role in the move toward empathy
<p>In reality, we are all "first responders" in the need for empathy, as countless anecdotes about inspiring acts of compassion during the pandemic attest. I was particularly touched by the story of a Tennessee man who, worried about his mother and others in her retirement community, brought his guitar and serenaded <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2020/03/24/coronavirus-pandemic-demands-kindness-compassion-empathy-column/2898413001/" target="_blank">residents outside their windows</a>.</p><p>We see others leading with empathy around the globe. Italians signing to each other from their balconies; kids in the U.S. mowing their neighbor's lawns; volunteers sewing thousands and thousands of face masks for health care workers.</p><p>Unfortunately, we also see plenty of people who are most definitely not getting this right. As CNN's Chief Political Analyst Gloria Borger reminded us at the end of March, President Trump gives us a prime example of self-centeredness and a distinct lack of empathy. "By tweeting a New York Times story about the millions of viewers his evening news conferences attract, the President made one thing clear: In his mind, it's all about him," <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2020/03/30/politics/borger-column-trump-empathy/index.html" target="_blank">Borger wrote</a>.</p><p>On the other hand, we see leaders like New Zealand's Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern lead with empathy first. "People feel that Ardern 'doesn't preach at them; she's standing with them,'" Helen Clark, New Zealand's prime minister from 1999 to 2008, <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2020/04/jacinda-ardern-new-zealand-leadership-coronavirus/610237/" target="_blank">told Uri Friedman</a> of The Atlantic.</p><p>Ardern video chats with her nation from her remote location, dressed down and with her children's toys often visible in the background. She is authentic and real, even apologizing for using the national emergency alert sirens to get out the shelter-in-place message.</p><p>And her country is responding. Out of a population of nearly 5 million, only 20 people have died from the virus as of early May, thanks in large part to willing compliance with widespread testing and quarantining mandates. Her empathetic approach has no doubt saved lives.</p>Stop looking for empathy, and start delivering it
<p>We must stop looking for empathy (even if we wish our own political leadership cared more about us than their election prospects) and begin delivering it. Dan Kerber, VP of Business Operations for Ericsson, wrote a beautiful piece on <a href="https://www.ericsson.com/en/blog/2020/3/leadership-empathy-coronavirus" target="_blank">how we can lead our teams with empathy</a> during this stressful time. He stresses the importance of treating our employees with kindness and basic humanity:</p><ul> <li>We can be flexible with schedules and more understanding of workers who are home with kids.</li><li>We can help our teams set boundaries on their working time, not expecting them to answer in their off hours.</li><li>We can welcome their family members into the conversation, not being phased if the little ones toddle into the room or the cat jumps up on the keyboard.</li><li>We can make sure they have the resources and support they need to continue working and stay mentally healthy.</li></ul><p>Eventually we can carry this attitude forward as we come out of this pandemic. In all of this, the prevailing questions for business leaders might be "How can I help?"</p><p>We will all come out of this changed in some way. We get to decide if those changes will be made intentionally, or forced on us by our circumstances. Let's choose wisely, and bring a more empathetic mindset with us.</p><div></div>
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Feeling Lonely? You might be self-centered, says new research
These findings fit in with an overarching evolutionary theory on loneliness.
26 October, 2017
Credit: Getty Images.
Loneliness is usually a difficult emotion to divulge. We want to project to others that we have a vibrant and fulfilling social life. Of course, we all get lonely sometimes, but some far more often than others. Usually, divulging that one is lonely elicits compassion, empathy, or even pity on the part of the listener. But perhaps they shouldn't feel so, according to one long-term study out of the University of Chicago. It finds that those who are chronically lonely are more likely to be self-centered. The findings of the study were published in the journal Personality and Psychology Bulletin.
<p>To conduct it, researchers had 229 volunteers visit their lab once a year for 10 years. Each time, they were made to fill out a number of questionnaires. These contained questions about a volunteer's mood and experiences with <a href="https://digest.bps.org.uk/2017/10/25/ten-year-study-finds-loneliness-and-self-centeredness-appear-to-be-mutually-reinforcing/#more-31441" target="_blank" title="Research Digest">aspects of certain disorders</a>, such as depression. The battery of paperwork included the Chronic Self-Focus scale (to determine how self-centered they were), and the Revised UCLA Loneliness Scale (which assesses loneliness and social isolation).</p> <p>The study started during the 2002-2003 year. At that time, participants were ages 50-68 and either Caucasian, African-American, or Hispanic. They all came from Cook County, Illinois and were the three most prominent racial groups in that region at the time What researchers found was that loneliness increases self-centeredness. While self-centeredness in turn, increases loneliness—but to a far lesser extent. Those who reported higher levels of loneliness one year, usually reported higher levels of self-centeredness the next. So researchers believe the two emotions are mutually connected through a positive feedback loop.</p> <p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xODM0MDk0NS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNjQzNzcwM30.wfhcLA1Bx2SwbuhYeZmAcImvfwdtm8Mue_p2e6jG_fw/img.jpg?width=980" id="f7016" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="fd29d40f2639fa6fe4e15302b4acb2ef" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></p> <p><em>There's a growing number of seniors who are lonely and socially isolated, which is detrimental to their health. Credit: Getty Images. </em></p> <p>This study investigated a pioneering theory on loneliness posited by the U of Chicago's John Cacioppo, who led the study. He's a distinguished professor in psychology and the director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience. “If you get more self-centered, you run the risk of staying locked in to feeling socially isolated," he said in a press release.</p> <p>While loneliness motivates someone to take steps to better their social lives, it also gives them a tendency to increase focus on their own interests, which might further solidify the problem. Besides a poorer quality of life, the chronically lonely endure poorer psychological and physical health and over time, even develop abnormal personality traits.</p> <p>They also have higher mortality rates than those with good social connections. This is the first study to test Cacioppo's theory on loneliness and self-centeredness. While this relationship was assumed, researchers were surprised to learn that self-centeredness also increased loneliness.</p> <p>Though the risks for the chronically lonely are significant, there's good news too. This research offers insight into how to help the chronically lonely break out of their negative spiral. “Targeting self-centeredness as part of an intervention to lessen loneliness may help break a positive feedback loop that maintains or worsens loneliness over time," researchers wrote.</p> <p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xODM0MDk0Ni9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwMzQwNjY0N30.FTDcbiP9cozjHS5SJ3J1z0HB9NwuXTr8LNjtDTaQ30Y/img.jpg?width=980" id="63c51" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="97b462b0a510a0fa5dedba36d6caffa7" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></p> <p><em>Feeling isolated at work or in our commute is an increasingly common and widespread problem. Credit: Getty Images. </em></p> <p>One drawback, the study didn't prove causality. There may be another factor affecting both loneliness and self-centeredness. Even so, researchers say it suggests causality as depression and overall mood weren't affected by this positive feedback loop. The findings coincide with a growing neurobiological view that emotions have evolutionary functions. Loneliness these authors state, “is part of a warning system that motivates people to repair or replace their deficient social relationships."</p> <p>This squares with the emotion's evolutionary aim. Those who cannot relieve their loneliness naturally become more self-centered in order to better look after their own welfare. This helps the person in the short-term, but harms them long-term. “This evolutionarily adaptive response may have helped people survive in ancient times," Cacioppo said, “but in contemporary society may well make it harder for people to get out of feelings of loneliness."</p> <p>Today, more and more people are dealing with chronic loneliness. Former Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy calls it <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/on-leadership/wp/2017/10/04/this-former-surgeon-general-says-theres-a-loneliness-epidemic-and-work-is-partly-to-blame/?utm_term=.a77960cc4105" target="_blank" title="The Washington Post">a public health crisis.</a> In a recent piece in the <a href="https://hbr.org/cover-story/2017/09/work-and-the-loneliness-epidemic" target="_blank" title="The Harvard Business Review"><em>Harvard Business Review</em></a> he said that partly, how we work is to blame, as with many of our coworkers, we feel they're acquaintances rather than real confidants we can depend on. Since we're spending so much more time at work these days, it's beginning to affect us. This latest research should help us get a better grasp on loneliness as a public health problem and aid in the development of interventions to combat it.</p> <p>Want to know how loneliness effects your health? Watch this:</p> <p class="flex-video shortcode-media shortcode-media-youtube"><span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e9ad76cbe5db676f526fe6fe40d0fcb2"><iframe type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/es9RS-wnq94?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span></p>
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The difference between solitude and loneliness
We're more lonely than ever and this is horrible. Equally horrible? We can't bare to spend time alone.
09 August, 2017
Credit: Pixabay
‘All man’s miseries,’ wrote the French mathematician Blaise Pascal, ‘derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone’. Often in our busy lives this is caused by having too much to do. Sometimes it is our own inability to set down the smartphone and sit. Our go, go, go lives often leave us with little time for solitude. This is a shame, as many great minds argue, for being able to be alone with your own thoughts is a great skill that more people could use.
<p><strong>However, there is a difference between solitude and isolation, and it might kill you. </strong></p> <p>Some of us, <a href="http://bigthink.com/robby-berman/study-study-finds-very-smart-people-are-happier-alone?utm_campaign=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#link_time=1502230122" target="_blank">particularly the more intelligent of us</a>, enjoy a quiet moment to ourselves every now and again. But others are truly lonely. This is more than just a negative feeling - it can have horrible effects on your health. Effects that we have a greater reason than ever for trying to understand.</p> <p><a href="http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2017/08/lonely-die.aspx" target="_blank">Research suggests</a> that loneliness can dramatically increase the risk of death in individuals. It can even be a better predictor of early death than obesity. In a meta study of more than 200 studies covering hundreds of thousands of patients it was shown that “<strong>There is robust evidence that social isolation and loneliness significantly increase risk for premature mortality, and the magnitude of the risk exceeds that of many leading health indicators</strong>,” according to lead researcher Holt-Lunstad.</p> <p>It is also known that chronic loneliness can cause a slew of specific health problems. <a href="http://bigthink.com/experts/johncacioppo" target="_blank">John Cacioppo</a> reports that it can even lead to “<strong>…increased levels of cortisol, a major stress hormone, as well as higher vascular resistance, which can raise blood pressure and decrease blood flow to vital organs… [and] the danger signals activated in the brain by loneliness affect the production of white blood cells; this can impair the immune system’s ability to fight infections</strong>.”</p> <p>This news would not shock Aristotle, <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.1.i.html" target="_blank">who argued two thousand years ago that friendship was a requirement for a good life</a>. Lacking friends, he posited, we would be unable to truly enjoy being human. The notion that we are biologically dependent on having some level of social interaction would only mean to him that we have an even greater obligation to educate individuals on how to make and be friends.</p> <p>He was on to something. Today, more than 40 million adults over 45 in the United States are believed to suffer from chronic loneliness. That image that you have of the sad old man in the nursing home is only partly true, however, as this statistic is also tied to other demographic changes. Such as a reduction in the marriage rate and the number of children per married couple. Though it is also true that older people can be at a higher risk of loneliness, <a href="http://bigthink.com/laurie-vazquez/how-to-beat-the-loneliness-epidemic" target="_blank">1 in 2 people over the age of 85 in the United States live alone.</a> This is an especially grim note, as <a href="http://www.seeyourfolks.com/" target="_blank">this link explains</a>, because the time they can expect to have left is remarkably short.</p> <p>However, at the same time, <a href="https://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/01/free-time-for-parents/" target="_blank">people complain of a lack of time to themselves</a>, and <a href="http://bigthink.com/articles/want-to-be-happier-buy-time-saving-services-study-suggests" target="_blank">s</a><a href="http://bigthink.com/articles/want-to-be-happier-buy-time-saving-services-study-suggests" target="_blank">tudies show that people are happiest when they are able to buy more time rather than things</a>. Hannah Arendt even alleged the inability to sit alone and think was a key reason Eichmann became a tool in the Holocaust. For her, the ability to sit and think by yourself, a key part of solitude, was a tool towards freedom. Without it, the tyranny of the majority, or even outright totalitarianism, would follow. The ability to be alone is the key to individuality, for Arendt.</p> <p><strong>But one man went farther, suggesting that loneliness was good for us. </strong> </p> <p>Schopenhauer, the ever-depressive philosopher, made the argument that the best of us would actually choose isolation. Deeming such people “<strong>Sages</strong>”, these people would be monastic; retreating from society, desire, and distraction to live simple lives. These rare few, so he alleged, were the truly happy people. Freed from vanity and pettiness they could go on to find intellectual pleasures, though even Schopenhauer was unable to make the switch to such a life.</p> <p>It is an odd paradox - we suffer both from loneliness and the inability to have time to ourselves. Technology has made us more connected than ever, and this has not made us happier or even less lonely. We are going to have to learn not only to re-connect, but to be alone as well. A paradox befitting of the modern, ultra-connected, age. </p>
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Your Brain Interprets Prolonged Loneliness as Physical Pain – Why?
Scientists are finding that loneliness has real medical consequences, and the brain sees it as pain.
06 January, 2017
Alone. (ANDREI NIEMIMÄKI)
<p class="p1">One of humankind’s great advantages has been that we band together to accomplish more than we can on our own. You might expect that our bodies would have evolved in such a way as to promote social interaction, and you’d be right. Studies are revealing that those outside the pack — the lonely — are 25% more likely to die prematurely, according to writer <a href="http://magazine.uclahealth.org/body.cfm?id=6&action=detail&ref=1426" target="_blank"><span class="s1">Veronique de Turenne</span></a>. The chronically lonely wind up with more heart disease, more metastatic cancer, and with higher risks of stroke and neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s.</p> <p class="p1">Lately scientists have been learning about the biological ramifications of loneliness. Steve Cole is a professor of medicine, psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA, and director of the UCLA Social Genomics Core Laboratory. He’s been working on this at the molecular level since the early 2000s, aided by data from the Human Genome Project. His interest had been triggered by a report on the survival rates of gay men with HIV. It appeared that closeted men died much more quickly than those who had come out. The main discernible difference between the groups was that closeted subjects were more worried about <span>ostracization</span> and rejection.</p> <p class="p1"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xODQwOTQyMC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMTk1MDMyMn0.V3dBnhW4jb9_7AioN41nnKBHykiCkhcskCr8YoFLo18/img.jpg?width=980" id="3d911" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1cea9b95ca5c9662ddd73268da38ebf0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></p> <p class="p2"><span style="color: #737d83; font-size: 13px;">(</span><a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/kash_if/" style="font-size: 13px;" target="_blank"><span class="s3">KASHIF MARDANI</span></a><span style="color: #737d83; font-size: 13px;">)</span></p> <p><span class="s1"><a href="https://psychiatry.uchicago.edu/directory/john-t-cacioppo-phd" target="_blank">John Caccioppo</a></span> of the <a href="https://ccsn.uchicago.edu/" target="_blank"><span class="s1">Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience</span></a> at the University of Chicago, is an expert on the physical effects of social disconnection on cellular mechanisms with a book called <em><a href="http://amzn.to/2jkId8X" target="_blank">Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection</a></em>. He and Cole teamed up for a study of how gene expression varied between people who were lonely and those who weren’t. According to Cole, “We found the key antiviral response driven by so-called Type 1 interferon molecules was deeply suppressed in the lonely people relative to the non-lonely people.”</p> <p class="p1">In addition — and ominously — Cole and Caccioppo also found “… that there was another block of genes that was not suppressed — in fact, it was greatly activated — and this block of genes was involved in inflammation.” Inflammation can be the engine underlying atherosclerosis, Alzheimer’s, and cancer.</p> <p class="p1">Are people isolated socially being further undermined by their own biology? There are two plausible evolutionary explanations. Cole says, “The best theory is that this pattern of altered immunology is a kind of defensive reaction mounted by your body if it thinks you are going to be wounded in the near-future,” with no one there to protect or help you. Another theory is that if you feel bad, you may be more inclined to seek out others for help. With this notion, the emotional pain of loneliness acts much like a physical pain that tells you something is wrong that needs to be addressed.</p> <p class="p1"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xODQwOTQyMS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzIxODg0NX0.mUTQFqYfs87Ffy9N86K9Q4K0ly-Z8EnRM5E2LLMGrOM/img.jpg?width=980" id="4aeac" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="bbd054aca57c6f6d0ceee57ed9feef76" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></p> <p class="p2"><span style="color: #737d83; font-size: 13px;">(</span><a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/klearchos/" style="font-size: 13px;" target="_blank"><span class="s3">KLEARCHOS KAPOUTSIS</span></a><span style="color: #737d83; font-size: 13px;">)</span></p> <p>In any event, both ideas may have made more sense historically than they do now, and the number of people describing themselves as lonely is growing quickly — Cole refers to it as an “epidemic.”</p> <p class="p1">Part of it is the aging baby boomers who’ve seen their children grow up and move out, and whose friends are dying more frequently due to age. Another factor may be the way “our culture is changing in ways that invite us — in fact, almost require us — to be more lonely and disenfranchised,” according to Cole. Among those is our migration to online relationships that just aren’t individually as powerful due to the lack of <a href="http://bigthink.com/robby-berman/4-things-you-can-do-to-cheer-up-according-to-neuroscience" target="_blank"><span class="s1">personal contact</span></a>. We text, we don’t call, and our families tend to be far-flung, no longer residing in physical communities together.</p> <p class="p1"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xODQwOTQyMi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxMTEwMTI5M30.Zw4t9gOF9in9CNd2dcxDfnWItydlKeY7OpvjsVlRUsU/img.jpg?width=980" id="414e0" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0ea8083be37f9fac48d0687c0c9fc8ea" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></p> <p class="p2"><span style="color: #737d83; font-size: 13px;">(</span><a href="https://secure.flickr.com/photos/anieto2k/" style="font-size: 13px;" target="_blank"><span class="s3">ANDRÉS NIETO PORRAS</span></a><span style="color: #737d83; font-size: 13px;">)</span></p> <p>Caccioppo tells de Turenne: “The level of toxicity from loneliness is stunning,” offering as an example a surprising ratio: “The mortality rate for air pollution is 5 percent. For loneliness, it’s 25 percent.”</p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1"><a href="https://www.psych.ucla.edu/faculty/page/neisenbe" target="_blank">Naomi Eisenberger</a></span> is associate professor of social psychology at UCLA and director of the <a href="http://bigthink.com/admin/text_ideas/%20Social%20and%20Affective%20Neuroscience%20Laboratory" target="_blank"><span class="s1">Social and Affective Neuroscience Laboratory</span></a>. She developed an experiment aimed at understanding better why loneliness hurts so much emotionally, and how much like physical pain it really is. Her study involved a simple online game called Cyberball in which connected players played virtual “catch.” In each test, brain scans monitored the reaction of one player who was eventually excluded from play. Eisenberger watched the brain’s reaction. Increased activity occurred in the subject’s dorsal anterior cingulate cortex and the anterior insula, the same two areas that also spring into action in response to physical pain, showing that social isolation doesn’t just feel like it hurts, it actually <em>does</em> on a neurological level.</p> <p class="p1"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xODQwOTQyMy9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzODg5NTYxOH0.usASdGOfGBrylnc9l1lYuor2I4FDnRAgj-1MftDjvkk/img.jpg?width=980" id="2ea1c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="24fe725ec7defda1a4f5c3dea4339eac" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></p> <p class="p2"><span style="color: #737d83; font-size: 13px;">(</span><a href="http://www.intechopen.com/books/advanced-brain-neuroimaging-topics-in-health-and-disease-methods-and-applications/social-pain-and-the-brain-how-insights-from-neuroimaging-advance-the-study-of-social-rejection" style="font-size: 13px;"><span class="s3">INTECH</span></a><span style="color: #737d83; font-size: 13px;">)</span></p> <p>Over the course of repeated tests, Eisenberger’s team found that different subjects responded in different ways emotionally, and that the difference was reflected in brain activity. Players who reported being upset when ignored showed more activity in these brain areas, and those who shrugged it off showed less. </p> <p class="p1">Eisenberger says, “We think this is why people talk about rejection as literally hurting — because the brain processes emotional and physical pain in similar ways. Because being connected is so important to us as a species, researchers think the attachment system may have piggybacked onto the physical pain system over the course of our evolutionary history, borrowing the pain signal to highlight when we are socially disconnected.”</p> <p class="p1">There was another, very surprising, finding in Eisenberger’s study that reinforced the notion of a connection between loneliness and physical pain: test subjects administered acetaminophen — aspirin — showed less activity in the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex and the anterior insula when they were left out of Cyberball. Aspirin appears to have reduced their emotional pain as it might a headache.</p> <p class="p1">The upshot is that we need to start treating prolonged loneliness as seriously as we do physical illness. Of course, “The challenge is that the solutions are more nuanced and intricate than simply putting a bunch of lonely people together and telling them to connect,” as Cole notes. But it’s worth the effort, whether that means joining a reading group, a spiritual organization, a league, playing cards, or just finding people with similar interests. Having no one to share your experiences with — having no one to care about or who cares about you — can be profoundly disorienting and soul-crushing, and it’s turning out that it’s as bad for the body as it is for the heart.</p> <div class="video-full-card-placeholder" data-slug="john-cacioppo-on-loneliness-and-the-body" style="border: 1px solid #ccc;">
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