Why Banking Needs Quantum Physics

Next month I will establish the world's first quantum bank. The bank will be headquartered in Rockefeller Plaza, the global center of finance.

The universe is quantum. Physicists have known that for decades. Yet the economy remains as Newtonian today as when Sir Isaac Newton was the Master of the Royal Mint at the beginning of the 18th century. The time has come for a new and improved quantum economics: An economic system that is realistic.


The theoretical basis for quantum banking is an hypothesis first proposed by Erwin Schrödinger in 1935, called Schrödinger's cat. In this famous gedankenexperiment, a cat is put in a box with some poison which will or will not be released based on the outcome of a quantum event. Since quantum theory dictates that quantum events only have definite outcomes if they're observed, Schrödinger reasoned that the cat will remain both alive and dead as long as the box is kept closed. Quantum banking applies quantum phenomena in an analogous way to generate Schrödinger's cash.  

Next month I will establish the world's first quantum bank. The bank will be headquartered in Rockefeller Plaza, the global center of finance.

The Quantum Bank will have seven billion accounts – one for each person on the planet – and seven billion quantum dollars will be generated for each dollar deposited. The money will be deposited by a quantum event: the action of an alpha particle emitted by a uranium glass sphere imbedded in a microscopic grid of seven billion boxes. The coordinates of each box will correspond to one of the seven billion accounts. The box exited by the alpha particle will determine which account gets the cash.

Were the system being measured, the particle would pass through one box, putting the dollar in one account, providing the bank with one dollar in total assets. However by encasing the entire bank in metal so that no external measurement can be made, quantum uncertainty will prevail, much as it did for Schrödinger's cat. The alpha particle will not be constrained to pass through only one box. Because the particle is quantum, it will pass through all of them. In other words, all seven billion accounts will be credited. Anyone will be able to claim a free account, sharing as much of their wealth as they wish, or simply living off others' quantum deposits. Deposits will be accepted in any currency. All withdrawals will be in quantum banknotes – printed by the bank in golden ink – at a one-dollar-per-quantum exchange rate. These banknotes can be used wherever they are accepted, or they can be redeposited at the bank to generate even more quantum cash.

The Quantum Bank will open for business on Tuesday, June 11th. Crucially, it will be a paragon of ethical business. The banknotes will not derive their value from human uncertainty. Unlike most banks which are backed by faith, the Quantum Bank will be backed by physics. And the new economy that the Quantum Bank facilitates will subsist in a quantum-economic superposition. The world will never be poor again.

.   .   .

The Quantum Bank's prototype ATM will be open for transactions at Engineer's Office Gallery in New York City beginning at 1:00 pm on Tuesday, June 11, 2013, and running through June 14. The gallery is located in the basement hallway of 20 Rockefeller Plaza. Direct access is available during weekday business hours through the turnstiles at the 47-50 Rockefeller subway station. More information: www.engineersofficegallery.com

NASA astronomer Michelle Thaller on ​the multiple dimensions of space and human sexuality

Science and the squishiness of the human mind. The joys of wearing whatever the hell you want, and so much more.

Think Again Podcasts
  • Why can't we have a human-sized cat tree?
  • What would happen if you got a spoonful of a neutron star?
  • Why do we insist on dividing our wonderfully complex selves into boring little boxes
Keep reading Show less

How to split the USA into two countries: Red and Blue

Progressive America would be half as big, but twice as populated as its conservative twin.

Image: Dicken Schrader
Strange Maps
  • America's two political tribes have consolidated into 'red' and 'blue' nations, with seemingly irreconcilable differences.
  • Perhaps the best way to stop the infighting is to go for a divorce and give the two nations a country each
  • Based on the UN's partition plan for Israel/Palestine, this proposal provides territorial contiguity and sea access to both 'red' and 'blue' America
Keep reading Show less

Ideology drives us apart. Neuroscience can bring us back together.

A guide to making difficult conversations possible—and peaceful—in an increasingly polarized nation.

Sponsored
  • How can we reach out to people on the other side of the divide? Get to know the other person as a human being before you get to know them as a set of tribal political beliefs, says Sarah Ruger. Don't launch straight into the difficult topics—connect on a more basic level first.
  • To bond, use icebreakers backed by neuroscience and psychology: Share a meal, watch some comedy, see awe-inspiring art, go on a tough hike together—sharing tribulation helps break down some of the mental barriers we have between us. Then, get down to talking, putting your humanity before your ideology.
  • The Charles Koch Foundation is committed to understanding what drives intolerance and the best ways to cure it. The foundation supports interdisciplinary research to overcome intolerance, new models for peaceful interactions, and experiments that can heal fractured communities. For more information, visit charleskochfoundation.org/courageous-collaborations.