Trapped under a selfish boss? Try these 3 strategies to regain control

Selfish leadership is a problem many face alone — it’s the individual who must survive the whims of a selfish boss or colleague. But why is selfish leadership a concept so many people are familiar with? What can you do when you are trapped under a selfish leader?

Companies should be run by people who prioritize the common interest of the organization, often referred to as enterprise thinking, rather than by promoting individuals who put their own agendas first. Most leaders are responsible and conscious. A lot have enterprise thinking. But certainly not everyone. Nevertheless, there are enough selfish leaders to make life and work hard for the remaining people. Often those who get really squeezed are the middle managers.

In my work coaching leaders, I have seen firsthand why companies continue to promote people with high self-orientation and, crucially, how those affected by selfish leaders can protect themselves from this behavior.

Understanding selfish leadership and its impact on organizations

There’s a difference between self-orientation and selfish leadership, but these tendencies sometimes overlap. Selfish leadership, as I define it, arises when leaders act primarily in their own interest, often ignoring the needs of others and disregarding appropriate professional boundaries. Sometimes these leaders consciously pursue personal gains at the expense of their teams; other times, their selfish behavior is more subtle, shaped by unconscious habits or cultural norms that celebrate individual achievement over collective well-being.

Selfish leaders often lack the empathy and self-awareness necessary for effective leadership. They may use manipulative tactics, dismiss feedback, resist change, and neglect the impact of their actions on the people they lead. This behavior creates a toxic work environment where employees feel stressed, undervalued, and manipulated. Over time, such environments erode trust, lower morale, and lead to high turnover, as employees become increasingly disillusioned with a system that does not value their well-being or contributions. Research supports this link between narcissistic traits in leaders and diminished team morale and performance, with a study showing that narcissistic leadership can significantly increase turnover due to low psychological safety and organizational commitment.

Are firms promoting self-focused leadership behavior?

Cultural norms may even encourage this behavior, especially in high-pressure, competitive industries where individual success is celebrated above teamwork and shared goals.

As a coach, I often read the test results that my clients undertake when going through talent development or recruitment processes with some of the world’s leading executive search companies. In many cases, self-orientation, or the ability to promote oneself and effectively advocate for one’s own agenda, is valued as one of five key indicators of whether someone is suited to move from a vice president role to an executive position. This means that the qualities companies seek in their top executives are actually self-focused leadership behaviors.

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Many of the leaders I coach, however, operate from a different philosophy. They feel a strong sense of responsibility toward their people and are often extremely humble. For them, being evaluated on a parameter of self-orientation feels uncomfortable and doesn’t align with their values. These leaders are precisely the type of individuals we want at the top — people who practice enterprise thinking, focusing on the well-being of their teams and the organization as a whole, rather than leaders who are driven by personal influence and power.

This raises an important question: Why do many companies still look for high levels of self-orientation in their executive candidates? What might be wrong with this predominant paradigm in the top executive search industry?

How selfish leadership undermines organizational success

In today’s complex business landscape, successful leadership demands more than technical expertise or strategic acumen — it requires empathy, accountability, and an awareness of the human dynamics that drive a team. If that is not in balance they cannot perform. When leaders act out of self-interest or pursue personal goals at the expense of the team, the repercussions are deep and lasting. Selfish leadership doesn’t just impact employee well-being; it compromises the very foundation of organizational resilience and adaptability.

One of the critical challenges with selfish leadership is that it erodes trust. Trust is the backbone of any team, and without it, people are less likely to communicate openly, take necessary risks, or work together to overcome challenges. A lack of trust often leads to disengagement, as employees no longer feel their contributions are valued. Over time, this disengagement can result in high turnover and the loss of institutional knowledge — a setback that stifles innovation and hinders organizational progress. Empirical research has shown that when employees lack trust in their leaders, organizational commitment declines, significantly impacting performance and team cohesion.

Furthermore, selfish leadership creates a high-stress environment that directly affects productivity and mental health. Research consistently shows that employees perform best when they feel respected, supported, and recognized. In a culture dominated by selfish leadership, however, stress often reaches unmanageable levels, leading to burnout, reduced cognitive functioning, and even physical health issues. Leaders who prioritize their own needs over those of the team risk burning out not only their employees but themselves. The mental and physical toll on everyone involved can make it impossible for the organization to thrive in a sustainable way.

Three strategies to protect yourself against a selfish leader

If you find yourself working for a selfish leader, the challenge often falls to you to protect your well-being and maintain your professional integrity. Here are three strategies to help you navigate and manage this difficult situation:

1. Set and enforce boundaries. When working under a selfish leader, establishing and maintaining clear boundaries is essential. Selfish leaders may not respect others’ time or workloads, often expecting subordinates to cater to their needs at all times. Protect your time by politely but firmly communicating limits around your work hours, responsibilities, and priorities. For example, clarify when you are available and assert the need to focus on your tasks without constant interruptions. Practicing assertiveness can help ensure that your boundaries are respected, reducing undue stress and protecting your well-being.

2. Document and communicate transparently. Selfish leaders may sometimes manipulate information or fail to give credit where it’s due, which can impact your professional reputation. To protect yourself, maintain detailed records of your contributions, decisions, and correspondence. Share your updates and progress regularly with colleagues and, when appropriate, with other managers. This documentation not only serves as a safety net but also reinforces a transparent communication style that keeps your work visible, reducing the chances of your contributions being downplayed or misrepresented.

3. Build a support network. Having trusted colleagues or mentors to share your experiences with can be invaluable. When dealing with a self-centered leader, it’s easy to feel isolated or unsupported. Building connections with others, both inside and outside your organization, helps you gain perspective and guidance on how to manage your situation. A supportive network also provides a safe space for discussing ideas, feedback, and even strategizing solutions to work around the challenges posed by a selfish leader. Research supports the role of social support in protecting against stress-related burnout and improving overall job satisfaction.

A vision for the future: Redefining leadership standards

As we look to the future, it’s clear that leadership standards need to evolve. Companies that continue to reward selfish, self-oriented behaviors in leadership may find themselves facing higher turnover, decreased engagement, and a loss of organizational trust. The companies of tomorrow will need to prioritize leaders who practice “enterprise thinking” — leaders who view their own success as intertwined with the success of their teams and the broader organization.

The next generation of leaders must be chosen not solely for their ambition but for their ability to uplift those around them, shaping a workplace culture that aligns with long-term resilience and success. This transformation will not only protect employees but will create organizations where collaboration, growth, and shared achievement are at the forefront — ushering in a brighter, more sustainable future for leadership.