There are a lot of books and a lot of magazine articles that want to tell you that you’re doing love the wrong way.  Unless you do this or that, you’re going to be unlovable.  You’re going to be alone for the rest of your life.  And they’re kind of scary and they’re there only to make you feel bad. 

And I think what science shows, is we’re all incredibly unique.  There’s a lot of variability in normal ranges of love-related behaviors.  And I find that very freeing.  I don’t have to put on a strait-jacket and never call him back and make sure that we never have plans on, you know, more than or less than three days in advance or not act a certain way. 

I can go with my gut and sort of feel a situation out.  And I think that’s rather liberating. 

In Their Own Words is recorded in Big Think's studio.

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