Stephen Miles: Don’t Get Defensive, Get Socratic

We all have people around us who aggressively poke at us. And when they do that, we tend to have a visceral reaction. In other words, we get defensive.

And when you do so, you give up the high ground. Or to put it another way, “you’ve actually lost your leadership position.” So says executive coach Stephen Miles, founder and CEO of The Miles Group. If you are acting defensively, Miles says, that is sending the signal that there actually is something that needs defending. 

According to Miles, there is a simple tool that will help you avoid this. It is a tool that can be used in both your personal and professional life. When you feel provoked by someone, facilitate them, says Miles.  People need affirmation more than anything, so affirm their point of view.

This video is part of our series of the most popular videos of Summer 2013.

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