"I am the New Man. My turn-ons include nurturing, chamomile tea and doing more than my share of the housework. I have forsaken red meat for soy, power lifting for Pilates and world conquest for the simple joy of raising sensible, well-adjusted children. You might think you've seen my like before, maybe in the form of Alan Alda, Phil Donahue or those guys who run around the woods naked, banging bongo drums. But they were outliers, mere heralds for the New Man to come. At long last I have arrived, and I'm about to corner the market on masculinity."