He will find you.
Then he will kill you.
And then someone will map it.
That’s the theory behind this Liam Neeson Kill Map, which charts the 115 lives snuffed out, across 16 movies, by the Irish actor.
Quite a performance for an actor who debuted on the silver screen in a Christian-themed movie. In the 1978 version of Pilgrim's Progress, Neeson played the Evangelist. Body count: zero. But throughout the years, he has honed the persona of the stone-cold killer. Neeson has killed across centuries, continents and even planets. These days, Neeson's characters are more likely to shoot first, and ask questions later.
This map lists the movies, locations and dates of Neeson's kills, which are represented by symbols referring to the various methods of dispatching the victims. These include: shot with gun/machine gun/revolver, stabbed with knife/dagger/sword/axe/doorknob, thrown from balcony/helicopter/building, and of course the classics, killed with lightsaber and stuffed in a manhole.
Neeson's most lethal role so far was in Taken 1, in which he kills 31 bad guys. In Taken 2, that body count drops to 20 – a figure equalled in The Phantom Menace, although the victims there are battle droids, not Albanian mobsters. Those three are the actor's only double-digit kill films. In both Darkman and Gangs of New York, he kills a mere eight opponents – the former movie gets the prize for most helicopter-related deaths. The tally drops off, eventually down to single kills in two Narnia movies. That's weak, Liam.
Location-wise, Europe is the continent where you are most likely to be killed by Neeson. He kills double as many people in Paris alone as he does in the whole of North America. The Far East and Africa have been spared Liam's lethal treatment – for now.
There is a problem with this map: it is a few years old. Its most recent additions are Liam Neeson's four kills in the trailer for A Walk Among Tombstones (2014). Since then, he has played in more than a dozen new movies, including Taken 3, the bodycount-rich reprise of his role as retired CIA operative Bryan Mills.
I could not find an updated version of this map. Who will make one?
Strange Map #803
Got a strange map? Let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org.