When we think of sex organs, our minds veer toward the naughty parts between our legs. But our minds should be veering to, well, our minds. The real catalyst for sexual activity is the brain — specific parts of the brain — not genitalia. That's why sexually driven language — dirty talk — is so arousing. When partners talk dirty to each other, they're stroking the right organs.
A wealth of scientific research establishes the brain's primary role in sexual activity. Sex drive, for example, originates in the hypothalamus, which is responsible for testosterone production in the testes. The amygdala, on the other hand, is a center for fear in the brain. Both brain regions strongly effect how we respond to dirty talk and sexual stimulation in general.
Psychotherapist Esther Perel says sexuality and eroticism are two different things:
Because men have larger hypothalami, they have more testosterone. This explains why the male sex drive often exceeds those of females, why men tend to initiate sexual contact, and why men are less cautious about who they take on as sexual partners. Partners who seek a submissive role, on the other hand, are led more by their amygdala, one of the brain's fear centers.
Dirty talk achieves arousal because it's fine-tuned to stimulate the right parts of the brain. It feeds our need for intimate conversation and lust for sexual activity. It provides a multi-layered sexual experience that extends further than just physical touch. Dirty talk works because it's sex through suggestion, and to our brains, suggestion can be just as powerful as full-on execution.
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