Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, “THAT’S IT! I have had enough. I am going to setup a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.”
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused. They E-mailed. They E-mailed with attachments. They downloaded. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They blogged. They created charts and graphs. They posted to BigThink. They copied videos from youtube. They did every computer task known to humanity.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
“It’s gone! It’s all GONE! %^#$^!$%!!$^#$^!@$ ,” said Satan.
“I lost everything when the power went out! #)^%#%#!%~!@#%!!!”
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate. “Wait!” he screamed. “That’s not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don’t have any?”
Haha… PJ, you like to stir the pot as much as me I think… well.. I’m old enough to remember the fuss over ‘The Life of Brian’ when it came out.. and at that point, it was a line ball.. like lots of things Xtianity at least has had to develop a thick skin, and now you can poke fun without having to worry too much.. of course the Mussies are not currently renowned for having a laugh about faith… hopefully they’ll lighten up.
Of course The Pythons originally joked the movie was going to be called ‘Jesus Christ, Lust for Glory’!… and started to write it with JC as the central figure.. when this seemed to weight the material with too much baggage they went for the baby in the manger next door…. Best scene that never got filmed I think was when they had Mary telling Joe she was pregnant.. he is a little shocked as his wife is still a virgin and is not at all convinced by her holy spirit explanation, and starts asking questions about a neighbour who’s been ‘looking at her funny’!
A nice joke I like is Moses holding the tablets looking skyward saying..‘let me get this straight… the Arabs get the oil, and we have to cut the end off our what?!’
I always thought lol meant laughing out loud. Thus it was easy for me to use because I thought that it showed me laughing as I said something… hmm maybe it is such a bad thing because no one can agree what it means?
I always thought lol stood for lucky orange legumes! I was so wrong….
so the humor thing. do you think right wing Christians understand irony? my guess is no since they make for the most splendid, unaware guests on The Daily Show and Colbert Report.
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Discuss
Pastor Jennifer on June 14, 2008, 9:22 AM
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at
!@$ ,” said Satan.
it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, “THAT’S IT! I have had enough. I am going to setup a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.”
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They E-mailed.
They E-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They blogged.
They created charts and graphs.
They posted to BigThink.
They copied videos from youtube.
They did every computer task known to humanity.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his
blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
“It’s gone! It’s all GONE!
%^#$^!$%!!$^#$^“I lost everything when the power went out!
#)^%#%#
!%~!@#%!!!”Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate. “Wait!” he screamed. “That’s not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don’t have any?”
God just shrugged and said, “JESUS SAVES”
Musycks on June 14, 2008, 9:31 AM
Haha… PJ, you like to stir the pot as much as me I think…
well.. I’m old enough to remember the fuss over ‘The Life of Brian’ when it came out.. and at that point, it was a line ball.. like lots of things Xtianity at least has had to develop a thick skin, and now you can poke fun without having to worry too much.. of course the Mussies are not currently renowned for having a laugh about faith… hopefully they’ll lighten up.
Of course The Pythons originally joked the movie was going to be called ‘Jesus Christ, Lust for Glory’!… and started to write it with JC as the central figure.. when this seemed to weight the material with too much baggage they went for the baby in the manger next door…. Best scene that never got filmed I think was when they had Mary telling Joe she was pregnant.. he is a little shocked as his wife is still a virgin and is not at all convinced by her holy spirit explanation, and starts asking questions about a neighbour who’s been ‘looking at her funny’!
A nice joke I like is Moses holding the tablets looking skyward saying..‘let me get this straight… the Arabs get the oil, and we have to cut the end off our what?!’
sciencesaves on June 14, 2008, 9:53 AM
Comedy is just too hard to resist with material like religion! Good thing there’s no stake-burnings, or public stonings these days!
Funny stuff, thanks!
pokój! on June 14, 2008, 3:43 PM
lol… I posted a topic along the same lines a while back…
pokój! on June 14, 2008, 3:44 PM
i apologise to all for using the dreaded lol… hehe is much better… or haha… stupidity…
gfds fds on June 14, 2008, 5:20 PM
told it at church and got a big laugh.
Luke Allen on June 14, 2008, 10:57 PM
hahaha… is lol an official bad word on here? How else can you convey that your laughing while writing?
dennis ilic on June 15, 2008, 3:09 PM
lol means lots of laughing, laughter?
I always, always has been a few months, thought it ment lots of love.
Ovey is my face red.
Luke Allen on June 15, 2008, 4:00 PM
Hey HealingZero,
I always thought lol meant laughing out loud. Thus it was easy for me to use because I thought that it showed me laughing as I said something… hmm maybe it is such a bad thing because no one can agree what it means?
dennis ilic on June 16, 2008, 9:45 AM
laughing out loud, lots of love, it’s all good.
Pastor Jennifer on June 17, 2008, 4:28 AM
HZ
Now I understand why my uncle signs his email with lol! I thought he was in a continuous state of merriment… thx
Sean Lorenz on July 14, 2008, 11:11 AM
I always thought lol stood for lucky orange legumes! I was so wrong….
so the humor thing. do you think right wing Christians understand irony? my guess is no since they make for the most splendid, unaware guests on The Daily Show and Colbert Report.
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