Why failure in marriages has become so common? Lack of knowledge, prepardness.

Failure in marriage is for the same reasons of failure in anything. Lack of knowledge and preparedness. You might think we would have full knowledge based on our parents example or lack thereof, causing us to seek out and prepare ourselves. Not the case often, is it?

As a human enters their adolescent stage of development, we all know and have experienced the distraction created by the chemical changes in our bodies and minds. We make a significant amount of decisions on base instinct during this time and have little, or not strong enough, guidance within ourselves or from others to overcome what is leading up to and often includes life-long choices.

Once we begin to "calm," somewhat, as things biologically level out (hopefully), though this can and does take additional years for many, we are still not knowledgeable and prepared to meet the expectations of our society and/or culture. Whether in personal or professional life. Leaving us caught between making decisions based on recent instinctual experiences and what we need to know to significantly impact a portion or the span of our further existence.

Past generations, majorly, have denied their individuality, in favor of meeting the expectation of society/culture/family/spouse. This is safe, especially without knowledge for what else could be achieved or evolved into. I do not mean this generally, as there are obvious exceptions, though reportedly rarer than the norm.

As humans have evolved in recent generations as more capable, knowledgeable and experienced individuals, those "striking this iron" earlier are waiting to "pair up" later in life. Unfortunately, there are still entirely too many individuals unguided, lacking knowledge and preparedness, who would benefit from being taught to know their selves better in mind and body from early adolescence on.

I was married at nineteen. 6.5 years later and two children later, our marriage failed as we grew as individuals and apart, exactly for the reasons I listed above.

After our children were grown and on their own, I remarried and am not dealing with the same lack of clarity, my first wife and I experienced. My son and daughter, ages 28 and 25 respectfully are in no hurry to marry, as they realize and have learned, they tell me, from my guidance, also based on what I have learned and mentioned above.


LinkedIn meets Tinder in this mindful networking app

Swipe right to make the connections that could change your career.

Getty Images
Swipe right. Match. Meet over coffee or set up a call.

No, we aren't talking about Tinder. Introducing Shapr, a free app that helps people with synergistic professional goals and skill sets easily meet and collaborate.

Keep reading Show less

15 surprising life lessons from a highly successful 80-year-old

You can use these to get ahead, no matter your age.

Personal Growth

Blackstone's Byron Wien, Vice Chairman of Private Wealth Solutions Group, gave a speech laying out the wisdom he learned during his 80 years. Here are 15 of Wien's best life lessons, which teach us about improving our productivity, sleep, burnout avoidance, and everything in between.

Keep reading Show less

Employees don't quit their job, they quit their boss

According to TwoFold CEO Alison McMahon, a leader who doesn't care (or can't pretend to care) about his or her employees isn't much of a leader at all.

Photo credit: Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash
Technology & Innovation

Why do people quit their jobs? Surely, there are a ton of factors: money, hours, location, lack of interest, etc. For Alison McMahon, an HR specialist and the CEO of TwoFold, the biggest reason employees jump ship is that they're tired of working for lousy bosses.

By and large, she says, people are willing to put up with certain negatives as long as they enjoy who they're working for. When that's just not the case, there's no reason to stick around:

Nine times out of ten, when an employee says they're leaving for more money, it's simply not true. It's just too uncomfortable to tell the truth.

Whether that's true is certainly debatable, though it's not a stretch to say that an inconsiderate and/or incompetent boss isn't much of a leader. If you run an organization or company, your values and actions need to guide and inspire your team. When you fail to do that, you set the table for poor productivity and turnover.

McMahon offers a few suggestions for those who want to hone their leadership abilities, though it seems that these things are more innate qualities than acquired skills. For example, actually caring about your workers or not depending wholly on HR thinking they can do your job for you.

It's the nature of promotions that, inevitably, a good employee without leadership skills will get thrust into a supervisory position. McMahon says this is a chronic problem that many organizations need to avoid, or at least make the time to properly evaluate and assist with the transition.

But since they often don't, they end up with uninspired workers. And uninspired workers who don't have a reason to stay won't stick around for long.

Read more at LinkedIn.

Radical theory says our universe sits on an inflating bubble in an extra dimension

Cosmologists propose a groundbreaking model of the universe using string theory.

Getty Images/Suvendu Giri
Surprising Science
  • A new paper uses string theory to propose a new model of the universe.
  • The researchers think our universe may be riding a bubble expanded by dark energy.
  • All matter in the universe may exist in strings that reach into another dimension.
Keep reading Show less