What makes a happy marriage?

My idea for keeping a happy marriage. It is not how to fix a broken marriage or how to deal with specific hang ups such as trust issues. It is a very very general idea that I try to live by, and it is very optimistic. 


First and foremost. Communication. To make an assumption about the person you love is the first step to dismal failure. Expectations are never helpful and wresting control over any part in a relationship will make the difficult job of sharing a life with someone impossible. Voice your assumptions, explain your expectations and learn that you aren't #1 anymore there's another to think about.

Second. Love language. There's a book that has been quite helpful to me and my interactions with the people I love called "The 5 Love Languages." it maps out the most basic ways that people show love to one another and how they wish to be shown love by others. This ties back with communication but in itself is quite important, especially if you've ever felt starved in a relationship. I won't type it out it's not a difficult read but it is long.

Lastly. Complete and total selflessness. This is the unattainable goal for yourself in your marriage. Think of it as Nirvana to a Buddhist, a constant searching for perfection. 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." I know it's a Bible verse but it's true and you will find this idea in almost all religious texts. 

It's a rosy idea; what I think makes a perfect marriage, and yes it is practically impossible to do in everyday life.  It's not about perfection though, since I'm talking about two humans it is redundant to say I'm talking about two flawed people trying to dance their way through life together and try to be happy. 

Feel free to harpoon the hell out of my idea, I'm a newly wed, young, with no kids. Both my husband and I come from a families that have 2 unbroken generations of divorces on both sides.  My idea came from watching my mom and dad and thinking 'Ok I shouldn't do that." I have no schooling in psychology and I haven't gotten my first degree in college yet.

LinkedIn meets Tinder in this mindful networking app

Swipe right to make the connections that could change your career.

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Swipe right. Match. Meet over coffee or set up a call.

No, we aren't talking about Tinder. Introducing Shapr, a free app that helps people with synergistic professional goals and skill sets easily meet and collaborate.

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Why do people quit their jobs? Surely, there are a ton of factors: money, hours, location, lack of interest, etc. For Alison McMahon, an HR specialist and the CEO of TwoFold, the biggest reason employees jump ship is that they're tired of working for lousy bosses.

By and large, she says, people are willing to put up with certain negatives as long as they enjoy who they're working for. When that's just not the case, there's no reason to stick around:

Nine times out of ten, when an employee says they're leaving for more money, it's simply not true. It's just too uncomfortable to tell the truth.

Whether that's true is certainly debatable, though it's not a stretch to say that an inconsiderate and/or incompetent boss isn't much of a leader. If you run an organization or company, your values and actions need to guide and inspire your team. When you fail to do that, you set the table for poor productivity and turnover.

McMahon offers a few suggestions for those who want to hone their leadership abilities, though it seems that these things are more innate qualities than acquired skills. For example, actually caring about your workers or not depending wholly on HR thinking they can do your job for you.

It's the nature of promotions that, inevitably, a good employee without leadership skills will get thrust into a supervisory position. McMahon says this is a chronic problem that many organizations need to avoid, or at least make the time to properly evaluate and assist with the transition.

But since they often don't, they end up with uninspired workers. And uninspired workers who don't have a reason to stay won't stick around for long.

Read more at LinkedIn.

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