Waht 'chip' on my shoulder?

Everybody has the 'I am special' idea. That may be because we are biased, being locked in with our own self all the time- and knowing everything there is to know about our self we see ourselves as profound, while we only know what we see about others, which is fairly superficial.
It's essentially a kind of teenage angst that says I am different and somehow better than others. I am smarter, or deeper, or what have you. Sometimes its a matter of one not having very good social skills and therefore feeling like they don't belong or fit in.
Rather than finding the lack with the self, however, they find the group lacking, as in those "stupid masses", hence the "Grinch" who hated all the Who's in Whoville.
What really bugs me though, is when the person goes around claiming everyone else is stupid or banal, or whatever, and they don't know a damn thing about anything outside of their world.
We are just about all in the same boat- either we can row to the cadence or not. I don't see 'this' as a teenage thing.
Perhaps it is a kind of scream against meaninglessness--that idea that you are just one person in a world of many many people, and so one feels they have to be special or different than the rest for their life to have meaning. I get it.
I think part of maturity and wisdom is learning you are not the cat's meow, that you are ultimately not so different from other people, that you are not, alas, the misunderstood genius you thought you were.
There really aren't a whole lot of geniuses around. The ones who are , do things. The ones who think about themselves that way or talk about themselves that way ; are essentially self-indulgent. Some grow out of it and some don't.
Everybody comes into the rooms thinking they are unique.The ones who do not get over it are "terminally unique".
I'm not willing to project any kind of artificial persona in order to fit in, and the opinions I express here represent my actual beliefs and tastes. So what you see is what you get, and I'm willing to live with that. Some people like me, some people hate me, and the majority simply withdraw from me.
I'm also aware of frequent criticisms of my style of posting is actually quite valid, from an others viewpoint.
Yes, I write quite pedantically at times
Yes, I repeat the same ideas simply because I feel they are important and I keep hoping to find new readers they appeal to.
Yes, I would use cliches and buzzwords that express some of my opinions in a nutshell . I would go out of my way to approach any idea from more than one angle because I have learned that the written word can never truly codify context
I expect to be liked and accepted by only a minority of people on any venue I frequent... The more knowledge you gain the easier it is for others to dismiss your opinion as insane.
Oh yeah, angst and false self-image as a result of feeling we don't fit in. Where do any of us really fit in?Where would I want to fit in? Why should I?...
It is not out of arrogance that I have come to feel this way. I realize that as a special snowflake (don't worry, I'm laughing at myself all the time, like now), I am only unique in such a a way that everyone else is also unique... which is almost, but not quite, paradoxical.
The more you look around, though, the more you see that virtually everyone (especially the least enlightened amongst us) tend to think of everyone else as the "stupid [or ignorant] masses." It is always "them", never you or me or the people immediately in our presence.
I have always noticed that I do personally have much deeper insights into many things, such as human motivation, logical progressions.
All I do is express the obvious to me. Obviously, what is apparent to some, is completely unfathomable to others.
We all have different abilities and use them in different ways, yet I see similar things in many different ways happening every day, all the time.
Sometimes people close to me wonder if I think I might be too intelligent, if I think things over too much, if my sharp wit could be put to more profitable pursuits; for you see I am a simple stone mason; In need of a better job....
I try not to be a "Grinch" however, I try and give of myself wherever I can, to suggest my ideas where I feel they may be of assistance, to volunteer my ability to absorb information and focus it where necessary to the task at hand.
As I mature, I find I am more able to prune the unnecessary foliage from my ideas and try to produce more abundant and sweeter fruit. I try and express my ideas in the most easy to understand ways.
But at the end of the day, in so many ways, I am still a victim of the same circumstances we all find ourselves in. I guess the biggest difference is that I am aware of it. It sometimes makes me mad, makes me feel frustrated, sometimes even that I am facing a Herculean task even making people aware of the actual circumstances we find ourselves in.
Most people aren't even aware , nor that they are 'guinea-pigs', nor that they are , cattle in the market place. For the most part, we would rather not know. We are not supposed to know. We are simply logs on the fire, fuel to the furnace that enriches 'them' and enslaves 'us' ( I went into it on an earlier post , Overturn the moneychangers) empty ashes to scatter in the wind, bullets to be fired at ourselves and each other, expendable tools easily and willingly replacing ourselves even at our own expense. Forced to pay for our own retirement. Made to pay for our own graves.....pay, pay .. ow more the longer you live....
I see it in myself--this tendency to think I am smarter than others, or different in some way. Of course there is some truth to things that people like Nietzsche said: there is a kind of herd mentality, and a sense in which any group tries to hold down anyone who is different or brighter. It can indeed feel lonely to be someone who likes to think a lot or who sees the world in a slightly different light than the rest.
I think there is a difference--some just go around automatically assuming they are smarter than others, making all kinds of not so smart assumptions, as it were. I meet people who think that because they read a couple of books, they know more than everyone else. They never seem to consider that others have been reading for a long long time.
The irony here is that it's really not very intelligent, to think one is more intelligent than everyone else. One might be a better communicator; one may have been fortunate enough to have a better education, but education is not intelligence.
We all at some times feel we are superior whether in intellect or other skills it is part of our precarious self esteem which is needed for our survival. But most of us keep a sense of proportion and hopefully enough of a sense of humor to laugh at ourselves too and recognize our frailties.
I think there is quite a broad range of ordinary. We do each have the personal experiences that make us what we are. Others have the personal experiences that make us appear to be what they see us as. I don't think any of that is bad. I don't see anything wrong with being ordinary. In fact, I'm most impressed by those who are good at being ordinary- industrious without ego.
A friend used to call this realization,"Being caught in the loop".Just as we think we have broken through with a great insight,one which distinguishes us from the "madding crowd",we find ourselves back where we began at square one.It seems this loop thing happened most often during drug experiences.
The only absolute truth is that there are no absolute truths, choose to grow.

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