Vegetarian Poem Winner

With great thanks and apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan (Modern Major

I am the very model of a modern vegetarian,
I once was briefly vegan and I’m dating a fruitarian
I read the veggie doctors and I quote the great nutritionists
And cheer the naughty antics of those PETA exhibitionists!
I argue meaty topics with the sceptics on the Internet
How can it be they still don’t know where all my protein comes from yet?
I tell my favourite anecdotes in my online community
And search for tasty recipes at every opportunity
(And search for tasty recipes at every oppor tuni tunity!)

And as for all those diets, I admit it only makes me groan
When I hear people quoting that infernal nonsense "In the Zone"
My fridge is full of wholesome veggie goodness; please, no carrion
I am the very model of a modern vegetarian!

I know the new four food groups and the new food veggie pyramid
I always read food labels well for those ingredients they hid
My shopping cart is full of green and leafy verdant foliage
And grains and beans and fruits we need for better health at any age
So many yummy meals and snacks, I hardly know where to begin,
I make banana smoothies mixed with wheat germ and with lecithin
Kids’ lunches are filled up with tofu sausage and with lentil sprouts,
The hummus dip that I whip up would win a contest, have no doubts
(The hummus dip that I whip up would win a contest, have no, have no doubts)

From oatmeal in the morning to my midnight snack of carrot cake
This way of life is right for me and that’s for certain - no mistake
And while I’m fully principled I’m not authoritarian
I am the very model of a modern vegetarian!

©Jessica Parsons 2007

LinkedIn meets Tinder in this mindful networking app

Swipe right to make the connections that could change your career.

Getty Images
Swipe right. Match. Meet over coffee or set up a call.

No, we aren't talking about Tinder. Introducing Shapr, a free app that helps people with synergistic professional goals and skill sets easily meet and collaborate.

Keep reading Show less

In a first for humankind, China successfully sprouts a seed on the Moon

China's Chang'e 4 biosphere experiment marks a first for humankind.

Image source: CNSA
Surprising Science
  • China's Chang'e 4 lunar lander touched down on the far side of the moon on January 3.
  • In addition to a lunar rover, the lander carried a biosphere experiment that contains five sets of plants and some insects.
  • The experiment is designed to test how astronauts might someday grow plants in space to sustain long-term settlements.
Keep reading Show less

A world map of Virgin Mary apparitions

She met mere mortals with and without the Vatican's approval.

Strange Maps
  • For centuries, the Virgin Mary has appeared to the faithful, requesting devotion and promising comfort.
  • These maps show the geography of Marian apparitions – the handful approved by the Vatican, and many others.
  • Historically, Europe is where most apparitions have been reported, but the U.S. is pretty fertile ground too.
Keep reading Show less

Love in a time of migrants: on rethinking arranged marriages

Arranged marriages and Western romantic practices have more in common than we might think.

Culture & Religion

In his book In Praise of Love (2009), the French communist philosopher Alain Badiou attacks the notion of 'risk-free love', which he sees written in the commercial language of dating services that promise their customers 'love, without falling in love'.

Keep reading Show less