Vegetarian Poem Winner

With great thanks and apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan (Modern Major
General)…

I am the very model of a modern vegetarian,
I once was briefly vegan and I’m dating a fruitarian
I read the veggie doctors and I quote the great nutritionists
And cheer the naughty antics of those PETA exhibitionists!
I argue meaty topics with the sceptics on the Internet
How can it be they still don’t know where all my protein comes from yet?
I tell my favourite anecdotes in my online community
And search for tasty recipes at every opportunity
(And search for tasty recipes at every oppor tuni tunity!)

And as for all those diets, I admit it only makes me groan
When I hear people quoting that infernal nonsense "In the Zone"
My fridge is full of wholesome veggie goodness; please, no carrion
I am the very model of a modern vegetarian!

I know the new four food groups and the new food veggie pyramid
I always read food labels well for those ingredients they hid
My shopping cart is full of green and leafy verdant foliage
And grains and beans and fruits we need for better health at any age
So many yummy meals and snacks, I hardly know where to begin,
I make banana smoothies mixed with wheat germ and with lecithin
Kids’ lunches are filled up with tofu sausage and with lentil sprouts,
The hummus dip that I whip up would win a contest, have no doubts
(The hummus dip that I whip up would win a contest, have no, have no doubts)


From oatmeal in the morning to my midnight snack of carrot cake
This way of life is right for me and that’s for certain - no mistake
And while I’m fully principled I’m not authoritarian
I am the very model of a modern vegetarian!

©Jessica Parsons 2007

Understand your own mind and goals via bullet journaling

Journaling can help you materialize your ambitions.

Videos
  • Organizing your thoughts can help you plan and achieve goals that might otherwise seen unobtainable.
  • The Bullet Journal method, in particular, can reduce clutter in your life by helping you visualize your future.
  • One way to view your journal might be less of a narrative and more of a timeline of decisions.
Keep reading Show less

How to split the USA into two countries: Red and Blue

Progressive America would be half as big, but twice as populated as its conservative twin.

Image: Dicken Schrader
Strange Maps
  • America's two political tribes have consolidated into 'red' and 'blue' nations, with seemingly irreconcilable differences.
  • Perhaps the best way to stop the infighting is to go for a divorce and give the two nations a country each
  • Based on the UN's partition plan for Israel/Palestine, this proposal provides territorial contiguity and sea access to both 'red' and 'blue' America
Keep reading Show less

Car culture and suburban sprawl create rifts in society, claims study

New research links urban planning and political polarization.

Pixabay
Politics & Current Affairs
  • Canadian researchers find that excessive reliance on cars changes political views.
  • Decades of car-centric urban planning normalized unsustainable lifestyles.
  • People who prefer personal comfort elect politicians who represent such views.
Keep reading Show less