something I need to say
This is in a nutshell, anyway, here goes...
Since I was young I had a fascination with the topic of God. I was 22 when I first sat down and talked to a philosopher. I had goose-bumps and something was telling me that I should pay attention to this way of thinking. A couple of months later I was talking to my wife in our living room and was thinking about the center of Earth's gravity when I had my first out of body experience. Up to that point I didn't believe there was a God. Now this may seem crazy but this is what I saw. I saw a light and went into it, it just happened, I didn't see it coming. While I was out there I saw a face that was unclear but for some reason I knew the face was Socrates. When I was there I was like a part of the light. This was only a second, then I came back to my body and I was completely overwhelmed. The voice in my head was loud and seemingly out of my control saying that I was Socrates. Yep! and I'm just getting started. This experience scared the shit out of me and I kind of lost it. Within two days I opened myself to God. I actually gave myself to God or whatever you want to call it, how bout' Fred? I think it was an indescribable moment. Things changed in my life in a hurry after that. Trying to understand what had happened to me was wild, to say the least. I ended up leaving town and stayed with a friend, hoping to find some sort of explanation for the things that I was experiencing. I knew I had to keep looking inside myself and didn't think any one could give me the answers. The next 5months were intense. Humbling.
Shortly after my first out-of-body I thought there would be two more. On January 13th, 2000 I was at work in a deep conversation about everything and the center of gravity (I would like to remember exactly how that thinking went) when something "jumped into me". It took me over and I honestly felt indescribable, it was like I could feel everything around me. It ran me into the living room of the house we were working, hitting my hands to the sides of my head yelling "I did it, I did it". Then I turned, faced my friends, raised my arms and thought I yelled that I am God, though it turns out I didn't. It was what I heard on the way out. Loud. I felt myself leave the same as the first time but this time I went all the way out into the light and turned around to look at myself. That's what I saw, I was about 6 or 8 feet away from my body frozen in the moment I left it in. The rest was light. I paned across from right to left (my right not my body's, ha, true though) looking at myself and this lasted what seemed like 4 seconds or so. Then I somehow came back to my body but couldn't really feel it. I collapsed and I recalled or saw my life as Bryan from beginning to then, like I was looking at the last 23 years through my eyes in a few seconds. After that the vision changed to me running fast and low to the ground, like I was some kind of cat or dog or something. It seemed real and for some reason I slammed into the ground and left the body. Then it was like I was only one piece of light but I could still see where I was at. I flew up, looked at the sky, and looked down at some land and a big body of water. That was it. I came back to and felt incredible. It was like I could lift or jump over a house. I started getting excited and jumped around because of how huge it all seemed and then I remembered that I didn't know shit about what was happening to me. If you're following me here you can imagine that the next few moments and months were something. Honestly it scared the shit out of me. At some time during those next few months I was by my self in my living room when I had a recollection/vision of my last look at the ground before my eyes shut and I died, secured to something like a tree. So, those are the life altering big spiritual experiences that I have mentioned. I'm honestly not making these things up. On top of this people have told me I'm Jesus. Wouldn't talk to me about it though. Ya, anyway, take it how you will. I think it's the craziest shit in the world. I'm sure I'll get some agreement there. I'm not sure what to do with it any more, so I give it to you.
Love and Peace
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