How diets ruin dating
Whether keto or vegan, finding love on restrictive diets is no easy task.
- A recent Reddit post discusses the challenges of dating while on a ketogenic diet.
- Entire websites and tutorial videos for "dating while vegan" feature a range of advice.
- Perhaps having too much choice with food decisions has paralyzed our ability to dialogue with one another.
My wife really loves me. When we met over four years ago, I was vegan. For context, she is the unpickiest eater I've ever met. Her mother is from rural Thailand; and her father's job in the military meant they traveled often and ate everything. That she even attempted to cook vegan Mapo Tofu signified commitment.
I believed I was an easygoing vegan, something you can only understand the folly of in hindsight. My veganism lasted two years; my vegetarianism, twenty. I'm certain there are many terrible dating memories from those decades—and some great ones, when I was with someone whose diet matched mine—that I've suppressed. Thankfully, today when someone asks me about dietary restrictions, I can honestly say "none," beyond a disdain for raw onions and most mushrooms.
Just as one might cringe when looking at yearbook photos, I feel my forehead wince whenever I see #vegan splattered across social media (and even more so when it's #vegancats). I don't take issue with the diet, just the soapboxing, which I was admittedly part of. My body has responded well to a carnivorous diet, just as I respond well to marriage.
One thing is certain: I'd certainly not want to return to dating while on this or any diet. Those battle scars are real.
This reminiscing is thanks to a Reddit post in which a man talks about how his keto diet ruined a date for him. She was a recent graduate of nursing school. He, a devotee to low carbs and intermittent fasting. A recipe for disaster.
I also brought up the fact that I do intermittent fasting, which she then told me was a binging disorder. I tried to explain that both a ketogenic diet and intermittent fasting have certain health benefits, but I could tell I was upsetting her, so I dropped it. The chemistry we had just wasn't the same afterwards, and I don't think I'll get a second date.
If you want to measure the cultural temperature, read the comments on Reddit threads. Or don't, and save your sanity. Beyond the diatribes on the validity of nutritional knowledge acquired during nursing school, discussions of keto take on epic dimensions, as if a new Dead Sea Scroll admonishing carbs has been discovered: "You shall eat no leavened bread with it. In fact, you shall eat no bread, ever."
Because I'm a gluten—er, glutton—for punishment, there are, indeed, plenty of advice columns for DWV (dating while vegan). This one claims it is possible to love a meat-eater provided you read menus beforehand, discuss how you're going to raise your children, and set certain foods as off-limit. And I thought George Conway had tough dinner conversations.
Noah, who spoke to the Globe only on the condition that his last name not be published, sits in the Thinking Cup, a coffee shop in Boston he has used since mid-summer to meet dates that he has arranged through dating apps such as Tinder, on Aug. 31, 2018. (Photo by Erin Clark for The Boston Globe via Getty Images)
Another keto first-dater engaged in a twenty-minute conversation with the waitress about which beers are gluten-free. He ended up drinking white wine with his potential beloved. Maybe he needs to meet up with this single vegan male who believes that, overall, he just needs to do "deep inner work."
Not to make light of dieting or dating. Food is emotional. It is literally what we are. Our food interacts with everything we're made of. It affects all of our habits, as an emerging awareness of the microbiome and its influence on our central nervous system is telling us. Our very thoughts are influenced by what we eat.
Those trying to figure out what's best for their health and our planet are not wrong. And those trying to find love—well, we certainly need more of it in this world right now.
It's just hard to wrap my head around the fact that after a quarter-million years subsisting on whatever we could secure in order to survive that now, in a time of plenty to the point of excess, we obsess this much over what's on our plate. Maybe optimal performance isn't decided by ketones or yoga or nutropics or cruelty-free glamping, but simply by being grateful you're in a situation that when you wake up in the morning you know you're not going to starve to death, which wasn't the case for most of our ancestors for most of time.
The only advice I feel qualified to give: when they say, "no, really, this gluten-free beer is good," run.
Dominique Crenn, the only female chef in America with three Michelin stars, joins Big Think Live this Thursday at 1pm ET.
Scientists discover the inner workings of an effect that will lead to a new generation of devices.
- Researchers discover a method of extracting previously unavailable information from superconductors.
- The study builds on a 19th-century discovery by physicist Edward Hall.
- The research promises to lead to a new generation of semiconductor materials and devices.
Credit: Gunawan/Nature magazine
Students who think the world is just cheat less, but they need to experience justice to feel that way.
- Students in German and Turkish universities who believed the world is just cheated less than their pessimistic peers.
- The tendency to think the world is just is related to the occurence of experiences of justice.
- The findings may prove useful in helping students adjust to college life.
The world is just? That’s news to a lot of people.<p>The study is the most recent addition to a long line of work focusing on the belief in justice, our behavior, and our reactions to evidence that might suggest injustice occasionally occurs. This study focuses on a personal belief in a just world, (PBJW) rather than a general belief in a just world (GBJW). The difference between them must be highlighted.</p><p>GBJW is the stance that justice prevails all over the world and that people tend to get what they deserve. PBJW is more focused on the individual's social environment and their belief that they tend to be treated justly. While several studies show PBJW correlates with a higher sense of well-being and a variety of other positive effects, a high GBJW is associated with less life satisfaction, negative behavior, and callousness towards the suffering of <a href="https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007%2F978-1-4939-3216-0" target="_blank">others</a>. This study controlled for GBJW, and focused on PBJW as much as possible. </p><p>To assure that culture was not a factor, the study included students at universities in both Germany and Turkey. </p><p>The researchers gave students at the four participating universities a series of questionnaires that asked if they ever cheated in class, if they perceived the world to be just, if they though that justice always prevailed everywhere, their tendencies towards socially appropriate behavior, their life satisfaction, and if they felt like they were treated justly by their teachers and fellow students. </p><p>The answers were statistically analyzed for relationships. While some of the connections seem trivially true, others were surprising. <strong></strong></p><p>PBJW turned out to only be an indirect predictor of if a student was likely to cheat. Both a belief in a just world and a lower likelihood of cheating were mediated by the justice experiences of the students, with more of these positive experiences lowering the rate of cheating and improving their belief in justice. This was also associated with higher levels of life satisfaction. </p><p>These effects existed across all demographics in both countries. </p>
What does this mean? Is a belief in justice a self-fulfilling prophecy?<iframe width="730" height="430" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6oMv-azHNCA" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe><p>In a way, it seems to be. People who have reason to think the world is just to them tend to interpret events in a way to sustain that belief and behave in a just manner. In a larger sense, the take away from this study is that experiences of justice, both from peers and instructors, is vital to student's wellbeing and understanding that the rules that exist about cheating are part of a larger, legitimate, system. </p><p>The researchers, citing previous studies on the perception of justice, note that "justice experiences (1) signal that university students are esteemed members of their social group, which in turn conveys feelings of belonging and social inclusion and (2) motivate them to accept and observe university rules and norms. These cognitive processes may thus strengthen their well-being and decrease the likelihood that they cheat."</p><p>The authors also suggest that if you want people (not only students) to act justly; consider treating them with "civility, respect, and dignity."</p><p>Sometimes, all it can take to help somebody act virtuously is to treat them well. Likewise, people treated harshly can rarely find reason to play by rules that don't protect them. The findings of this study will certainly add to the literature on how we perceive justice in the world around us, but might also help us remember that there are real consequences to our actions which can be much larger than we imagine. <strong></strong></p>
This could change how researchers approach vaccine development.
- The reason children suffer less from the novel coronavirus has remained mysterious.
- Researchers identified a cytokine, IL-17A, which appears to protect children from the ravages of COVID-19.
- This cytokine response could change how researchers approach vaccine development.
A member of staff wearing personal protective equipment (PPE) takes a child's temperature at the Harris Academy's Shortland's school on June 04, 2020 in London, England.
Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images<p>Experts don't want to place kids at the back of the line, regardless of how strong their immune systems appear. At least one company, Moderna, <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/coronavirus-vaccine-for-kids-moderna-plans-pediatric-trial-2020-9" target="_blank">hopes to begin testing</a> vaccines in pediatric volunteers by year's end.</p><p>Innate immune response is especially high during childhood (compared to adaptive immunity). This makes evolutionary sense: nature wants an animal to survive until its ready to procreate. Turns out the children in the study possessed high levels of cytokines that boost their immune response. The biggest impact is made by IL-17A, which appears to protect the youngest cohort from the ravages of the coronavirus. </p><p>While both age groups produced antibodies to fight off the infamous spike protein, adults that produce neutralizing antibodies actually suffer a <em>worse</em> fate. Herold says this "over-vigorous adaptive immune response" might promote inflammation, triggering acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS). </p><p>This matters for vaccine development. As Herold says, </p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Our adult COVID-19 patients who fared poorly had high levels of neutralizing antibodies, suggesting that convalescent plasma—which is rich in neutralizing antibodies—may not help adults who have already developed signs of ARDS. By contrast, therapies that boost innate immune responses early in the course of the disease may be especially beneficial."</p><p>Herold says current vaccine trials are focused on boosting neutralizing-antibody levels. With this new information, researchers may want to work on vaccines that boost the innate immune response instead. </p><p>With <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/science/coronavirus-vaccine-tracker.html" target="_blank">at least 55 vaccine trials</a> underway, every piece of data matters. </p><p>--</p><p><em>Stay in touch with Derek on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/derekberes" target="_blank">Twitter</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/DerekBeresdotcom" target="_blank">Facebook</a> and <a href="https://derekberes.substack.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Substack</a>. His next book is</em> "<em>Hero's Dose: The Case For Psychedelics in Ritual and Therapy."</em></p>
Researchers from the University of Toronto published a new map of cancer cells' genetic defenses against treatment.