The Right Questions Get Others to Convince Themselves You’re Right
Dan Pink explains how to use a couple of questions to help another person persuade themselves that you’re right.
It’s not quite a trick, but it sure works: Asking the right questions. Questions can be the difference between stating what you think someone should think or letting them come up their own good reasons for doing so.
Management consultant Dan Pink says, “The key here is that we tend to think that persuasion or motivation is something that one person does to another” when in fact, the trick is to get the person to persuade themselves. That’s where the questions come in.
As a parent of a teenager who could have been the one Pink describes, I’d say there could scarcely be a more perfect example of impenetrable intransigence. And yet, after years of fruitless begging, mine has decided — for her own reasons — to keep her room clean, thus proving Pink’s premise that her parents’ reasons were never really the point.
Persuasion is always about building agreement using the other person’s point of view, not simply insisting on what we think. If you ask a question that interests them, they’re immediately engaged. With their answer as the foundation of your followup, you’ve got a real chance at changing a mind.
Headline image: VECTORWORKS_ENTERPRISE
- The EAST reactor was able to heat hydrogen to temperatures exceeding 100 million degrees Celsius.
- Nuclear fusion could someday provide the planet with a virtually limitless supply of clean energy.
- During the Vietnam War, Robert McNamara began a program called Project 100,000.
- Women and nonwhite candidates made record gains in the 2018 midterms.
- In total, almost half of the newly elected Congressional representatives are not white men.
SMARTER FASTER trademarks owned by The Big Think, Inc. All rights reserved.