The Right Questions Get Others to Convince Themselves You’re Right
Dan Pink explains how to use a couple of questions to help another person persuade themselves that you’re right.
It’s not quite a trick, but it sure works: Asking the right questions. Questions can be the difference between stating what you think someone should think or letting them come up their own good reasons for doing so.
Management consultant Dan Pink says, “The key here is that we tend to think that persuasion or motivation is something that one person does to another” when in fact, the trick is to get the person to persuade themselves. That’s where the questions come in.
As a parent of a teenager who could have been the one Pink describes, I’d say there could scarcely be a more perfect example of impenetrable intransigence. And yet, after years of fruitless begging, mine has decided — for her own reasons — to keep her room clean, thus proving Pink’s premise that her parents’ reasons were never really the point.
Persuasion is always about building agreement using the other person’s point of view, not simply insisting on what we think. If you ask a question that interests them, they’re immediately engaged. With their answer as the foundation of your followup, you’ve got a real chance at changing a mind.
Headline image: VECTORWORKS_ENTERPRISE
Swipe right to make the connections that could change your career.
Swipe right. Match. Meet over coffee or set up a call.
No, we aren't talking about Tinder. Introducing Shapr, a free app that helps people with synergistic professional goals and skill sets easily meet and collaborate.
Quoth the parrot — "Nevermore."
- Edgar Allan Poe (1809–1949) is considered one of America's great writers.
- Poe penned his most famous poem, The Raven, in his 30s.
- Originally, the poem's feathered subject was a bit flamboyant.
Evolution doesn't clean up after itself very well.
- An evolutionary biologist got people swapping ideas about our lingering vestigia.
- Basically, this is the stuff that served some evolutionary purpose at some point, but now is kind of, well, extra.
- Here are the six traits that inaugurated the fun.
- Facebook and Google began as companies with supposedly noble purposes.
- Creating a more connected world and indexing the world's information: what could be better than that?
- But pressure to return value to shareholders came at the expense of their own users.
SMARTER FASTER trademarks owned by The Big Think, Inc. All rights reserved.