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Pretend You’re Your Own Friend. What Do You Think of Yourself Now?
Self-compassion is a better strategy for feeling good about yourself than the promotion of self-esteem.
Is it just me, or have you also noticed that the people who announce they have self-esteem issues tend to be people who seem to have the opposite, while people who really have them are so vanishingly quiet you wish they’d speak up so you could help?
Flickr user Jh.44
Many believe that self-esteem is the key to happiness. Unfortunately, this has led to an epidemic of narcissism, with the conscious construction of high self-esteem being really just a false inflation of a person's self-image. Since it’s often followed by a self-protective fear of admitting fallibility, the entire construct can prevent growth and make healthy relationships with others difficult. Worse, folks in need of a self-esteem fix may bully to feel superior to their victim. According to researchers such as Jennifer Crocker, naturally having self-esteem is fine. The issue is what people are willing to do to get it.
Of course, if too much self-esteem is a problem, so is too little. Low self-esteem is something many of us genuinely struggle with. For people who really do have a low sense of self-worth, it can be difficult to construct a plausible, convincing reason to feel otherwise, especially if you judge yourself deficient.
According to psychology professor at the University of Texas Kristin Neff, speaking to The Atlantic, this fragility means taking self-esteem too seriously isn’t even a sustainable strategy. She points out, “it's logically impossible for everyone to be above average at all times,” and should you actually fail at something, “self-esteem deserts us, which is precisely when we need it most.”
Neff offers what she feels is a better solution: Self-compassion. It’s a simple idea. You just treat yourself the same way you’d treat a friend you care about—with kindness, even when you make mistakes.
Self-compassion offers a sensible way to stay positive about yourself as you admit mistakes and difficult emotions, and as you grow. You could say that self-esteem is a person saying, “I swear I’m great just as I am,” and self-compassion is someone saying, “I’m not great yet, I’m human, but I’m working on it, and making progress.” Quick quiz: Which of these sounds more realistic, not to mention less obnoxious?
It also paradoxically tends to be motivating. In a study, Neff says, people were instructed to try out self-compassion and found it “creates an environment where it's safe to fail, so self-compassionate people are often more likely to try again. They also have more self-confidence, because they aren't cutting themselves down all the time.”
Neff cites other studies that have been done on the benefits of self-compassion for various groups of people, including veterans who seem to develop PTSD less often when they employ the technique, as well as people coping with divorce, pain, and age.
Self-compassion may even support physical health, since studies suggest its use may stabilize glucose levels in diabetes patients, and also increase telomere lengths. The more positive attitude it engenders also causes people to take better care of themselves. As Neff puts it, “Self-compassion is caring about yourself and not wanting yourself to suffer.”
Headline image: Adina Voicu
The team caught a glimpse of a process that takes 18,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years.
- In Italy, a team of scientists is using a highly sophisticated detector to hunt for dark matter.
- The team observed an ultra-rare particle interaction that reveals the half-life of a xenon-124 atom to be 18 sextillion years.
- The half-life of a process is how long it takes for half of the radioactive nuclei present in a sample to decay.
Humans are particularly prone to shiver when a group does or thinks the same thing at the same time.
A few years ago, I proposed that the feeling of cold in one's spine, while for example watching a film or listening to music, corresponds to an event when our vital need for cognition is satisfied.
Certain colors are globally linked to certain feelings, the study reveals.
- Color psychology is often used in marketing to alter your perception of products and services.
- Various studies and experiments across multiple years have given us more insight into the link between personality and color.
- The results of a new study spanning 6 continents (30 nations) shows universal correlations between colors and emotions around the globe.
The root of color psychology<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9e40cf62fa8922fcca6c57e2fcb215b6"><iframe type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/OM4fXB23pCQ?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>There is a very likely chance you've even been "fooled" by color marketing in the past, or you've chosen one product over another subconsciously due to colors that were designed to influence your emotions.<br></p><p>Companies that want to be known for being dependable often use blue in their logos, for example (Dell, HP, IBM). Companies that want to be perceived as fun and exciting go for a splash of orange (Fanta, Nickelodeon, even Amazon). Green is associated with natural, peaceful emotions and is often used by companies like Whole Foods and Tropicana. </p><p><strong>Your favorite color says a lot about your personality. </strong></p><p>Various studies and experiments across multiple years (<a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/49595886_Personality_Traits_and_Colour_Preferences" target="_blank">2010</a>, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jopy.12087" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">2014</a>, <a href="http://oaji.net/articles/2015/1170-1448038739.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">2015</a>, and more recently in <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/color-psychology-2795824#modern-research-on-color-psychology" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">2019</a>) have given us more insight into the link between your personality and your favorite color.</p><p>Red, for example, is considered a bold color and is associated with feelings such as excitement, passion, anger, danger, energy, and love. The personality traits of this color might be someone who is bold, a little impulsive, and who loves adventure. </p><p>Orange, on the other hand, is considered representative of creativity, happiness, and freedom. The personality traits of this color can be fun, playful, cheerful, nurturing, and productive. Read more about color psychology and personalities <a href="https://bigthink.com/mind-brain/color-personality-psychology?rebelltitem=2#rebelltitem2" target="_self">here</a>.</p>
Study reveals which colors best suit which emotions around the globe<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDYzMTk5OS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyODc4OTg5OH0.bY-pu-MFNivdJLDJuBp9TBKrhwuy7hngUa1aIWxQMVw/img.jpg?width=1245&coordinates=0%2C93%2C0%2C94&height=700" id="33fff" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1a5d7bb00dac94bd6201616789fb4882" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="concept of color psychology how colors make us feel color emotions" />
Certain colors are globally ties to certain emotions, the study reveals.
Image by agsandrew on Shutterstock<p>In this particular survey, participants were asked to fill out an online questionnaire which involved assigning 20 emotions to 12 different color terms. They were also asked to specify the intensity with which they associated the color term with the emotion.</p><p><strong>Certain colors are globally linked to certain emotions, the study reveals.</strong></p><p>The results of this study showed a few definite correlations between colors and emotions throughout the globe. Red, for example, is the only color that is strongly associated with both negative (anger) and positive (love) feelings. Brown, on the other end of the spectrum, is the color that triggers the fewest emotions globally.<br></p><p>The color white is closely associated with sadness in China, while purple is what is closely associated with sadness in Greece. This can be traced back to the roots of each culture, with white being worn at funerals in China and dark purple being the Greek Orthodox Church's color of mourning. </p><p>Yellow is more associated with joy, specifically in countries that see less sunshine. Meanwhile, its association with joy is weaker in areas that have greater exposure to sunshine. </p><p><a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/09/200910150247.htm" target="_blank">According to Dr. Oberfeld-Twistel</a>, it is difficult to say exactly what the causes for global similarities and differences are. "There is a range of possible influencing factors: language, culture, religion, climate, the history of human development, the human perceptual system."</p>