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When will we begin to take child sex trafficking more seriously?
Regan Williams, co-founder of Seen and Heard, wants adults to listen to children.
- Regan Williams, CEO of Seen and Heard, is on a mission to help foster youth develop necessary social and career skills through the performing arts.
- Williams says 300,000 American children are commercially trafficked every year.
- Children in our society are ignored except when they're famous or sexualized, which is part of the reason sexual abuse is not covered.
Between Jeffrey Epstein and George Nader, there's been a lot of talk about child sex trafficking and child pornography in the news lately. If the media properly covered these topics, we would always be talking about how children are abused. Sadly, the reason we're discussing it now is due to these men's links to the current administration. Better that than nothing, however.
Some people do talk about these topics often; they just aren't heard all that much. Regan Williams, the CEO and co-founder of the nonprofit, Seen and Heard, has made taking care of and raising awareness of foster youth a focus of her life. Having known Regan for a number of years, it is refreshing to watch someone so fully try to create a better world for the underserved, especially as those in need are children.
They need our help. As you'll read in our conversation below (listen to our talk here), 300,000 children in America are trafficked for sex every year; the global number is in the millions. Sadly, foster youth are a prime target for traffickers.
Organizations like Seen and Heard are essential for helping to raise children to be empowered adults. The nonprofit teaches social and career skills through performing arts. As Williams mentions below, most foster youth have experienced trauma, often physical abuse or sexual trauma. Acting and role playing offer them opportunities to cooperate and collaborate while thinking critically and creatively. No child deserves abuse from the worst of us.
Pictured: The Goodsky children, who have spent more than 1,000 days in foster care.
Photo By Jerry Holt/Star Tribune via Getty Images
Derek: You've worked with foster youth for a long time and you've also cared for three foster daughters. What are the biggest challenges you've had?
Regan: The things that pose the largest challenges I've experienced really have to do with behavior. Usually when a child is removed from their home, there's been a significant amount of trauma or neglect. You're almost always going to be getting a kid that has some pretty significant behavioral challenges, like reactive attachment disorder or fetal alcohol syndrome or drug exposure in utero.
It affects how they can learn and it also affects how to correct or discipline them. Traditional disciplinary measures just don't work with kids that have experienced trauma or have learning delays or disabilities or mental health issues. So you have to have proper training.
Derek: You started a nonprofit, Seen and Heard, which develops character through performance art training. Why did you choose that direction to work with foster youth?
Regan: Both my husband and I have backgrounds in performing arts. We noticed that our training really is a transferable skill set. There are a lot of services being provided for foster youth as far as jobs training. There are a lot of life skills-style training, yet there seems to be [a lack of] professional skills for a lot of transitional-age youth.
This is basically for kids between the ages of 16 and 21. You could provide employment or a college education scholarship for these young people, but the likelihood of them retaining their job or completing their education is more unlikely. That's because when kids are bounced around from home to home or living in a group home environment, they really have created a lot of maladaptive behavior over the years to protect themselves or get their needs met. Receiving constructive criticism or collaborating with others are skills that haven't had a chance to take root.
We found that a performing arts education — for example, improvisation or scene study, creating a character, working with a scene partner — are directly applicable to a workplace environment. Even a skill like mindfulness is something that actors really have to build before they can take on a role or enter into the life of the character. You have to empty out and focus on your breathing. You have to be present in your physical body. That skill is tremendously hard for young people who have experienced trauma because their default is to escape, lash out, fight, flight, or freeze. We're building on EQ or soft skills through the performing arts.
The Epstein case is not an outlier. Child sex trafficking is 'pervasive' in the U.S.
Derek: On your site, you write that there are 61,000 youths in foster care in California, which is almost the same number as homeless people in Los Angeles County. I know these are two disparate populations, but at the same time, you can argue that both of these populations don't have anywhere they can call home. I wonder why, with all of the focus on homelessness, do you think that foster care is not something as a culture we talk about nearly as much?
Regan: Oh man, that's such a good question. I've asked myself that over and over. By and large children are invisible unless they're put on a stage or they're commodified or sexualized. In addition, no kid is going to want to put on a t-shirt that says "I'm a foster kid." They're hard to identify because they're not identifying themselves. When you have a population of homeless people in Los Angeles, it's visible. You see it everywhere. Foster youth technically have a place to live, but there's a difference between home and shelter.
Derek: Speaking of sexualization, you initially reached out to me about having this talk with the Jeffrey Epstein case in the news. Do you think now that we're going to start hearing more about sex trafficking and take it more seriously?
Regan: There are 300,000 American children every year that are involved and being commercially trafficked...
Derek: Sorry to interrupt, but this is beyond sexual abuse. You're talking commercially trafficked?
Regan: Yeah, I's a lot. It's a $150 billion a year industry globally, just under drug trafficking. It's a very, very lucrative industry. It's such a common thing to have a child be sexually molested. Of the three girls that we brought in when we were fostering, two had experienced some form of sexual abuse or molestation. I'm not sure what the statistics are as far as how many youth that are in foster care have been sexually abused or assaulted. I'm sure that number is very high. Nobody talks about that.
What's so fascinating about Epstein is that, "Oh, so now we're going to start the conversation about trafficking," when people don't understand that there's been thousands and thousands of young people — for the most part, women with a median age of 11-15 — and this has been going on for quite some time.
Fortunately, there's been legal changes. Senate Bill 1322 prohibits law enforcement officers from arresting minors for prostitution. Still, people aren't talking it very much. I wonder if it's because these are poor communities; these are black and brown girls, sometimes boys as well, but for the most part girls, and because Epstein is a high-powered, wealthy individual.
Derek: When the Epstein case first reopened, there were members of Congress that were trying to place the blame on the victims. This isn't uncommon, but I think it was especially unsettling because it was children. For a while you heard the media reference them as "young women." How does that make you feel?
Regan: It's hard to put into words because so often young women aren't believed. It's just heartbreaking when I hear things like that. It's even tougher for young women that do not have a support system. Hopefully, the women that have been assaulted and abused by Epstein have that kind of support system.
There are a lot of foster parents where, if an allegation is made against them by a youth, the Department of Children and Family Services absolutely takes that seriously. We'll make an unannounced visit to make sure that everything is in order. But it's so sad that when you have a situation where abuse is happening and a social worker comes out and removes a child (and has evidence that there has been abuse and neglect), if that young woman does not want to go home because she's being abused by an uncle or a father or older brother, she has to testify. In many cases, a family member or relative is in that same courtroom when she is expected to testify.
Derek: We've talked over the years extensively about religion and hold different views in terms of the metaphysics of religion. But I really appreciate the moral and ethical aspects, how they're instilled in cultures and societies. When you're seeing what's happening, say with Epstein or the border crisis, where people espouse religiosity in their personal lives but then don't follow up with their moral obligations, what do you think about that?
Regan: The first thing that comes to mind is something that Jesus said. He had a bunch of little children gathered around him and his disciples were saying, "Let's get these kids out of here, they're wasting our time." Jesus really valued children. He said we as adults need to come to God with a sense of wonder, desire, belief, all those things. What he said is just profound to me: "Whoever causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for him to have a millstone tied around their neck and dropped into the ocean." I know it sounds vengeful, but it gives me so much comfort to know that Jesus took that so seriously.
Unfortunately, it happens more often these days in this administration. People talk one moment about a Christian principle or an idea and then the very next statement might be just shocking because oftentimes we do not see justice.
Derek: I want to ask an extremely difficult question, but it's one that I've thought about because there are organizations that exist for adults who are attracted to children but don't want to be. If you look at the advances we've had in our understanding of genes, we might find that there's a certain genetic composition or brain chemistry of people who are attracted to children. These organizations are saying, we're trying not to be stigmatized here, we're looking for therapeutic resources.
Regan: I'm not sure what the statistics are, but I would say the vast majority of people that perpetrate sexual crimes against children were themselves abused as a child. I almost see that as a generational epidemic. If your uncle or father molested you, you have a higher likelihood of molesting when you become an adult. That's not universal, but I do believe that that's one of the factors to consider.
Another factor is pornography. There are women that are 18 that play far, far younger. We sexualize children in role play or fantasy. Unfortunately, there's plenty of child pornography out there. There is a certain aspect of building an appetite for viewing pornography with younger and younger subjects.
I feel like it's nature and nurture that we're dealing with, but as far as rehabilitation, I am all for that because I'm on the other side of it. I'm mostly concerned with advocating and caring for young people that are coming out of the system. Most of those young people have had a history of sexual abuse or physical abuse. I haven't really paid a whole lot of attention to the other side, but to take a first pass at it, I would say we should be providing services for people that are wanting out of the trap.
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Construction of the $500 billion dollar tech city-state of the future is moving ahead.
- The futuristic megacity Neom is being built in Saudi Arabia.
- The city will be fully automated, leading in health, education and quality of life.
- It will feature an artificial moon, cloud seeding, robotic gladiators and flying taxis.
The Red Sea area where Neom will be built:
Saudi Arabia Plans Futuristic City, "Neom" (Full Promotional Video)<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c646d528d230c1bf66c75422bc4ccf6f"><iframe type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/N53DzL3_BHA?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span>
Coronavirus layoffs are a glimpse into our automated future. We need to build better education opportunities now so Americans can find work in the economy of tomorrow.
- Outplacement is an underperforming $5 billion dollar industry. A new non-profit coalition by SkillUp intends to disrupt it.
- More and more Americans will be laid off in years to come due to automation. Those people need to reorient their career paths and reskill in a way that protects their long-term livelihood.
- SkillUp brings together technology and service providers, education and training providers, hiring employers, worker outreach, and philanthropies to help people land in-demand jobs in high-growth industries.
Source: McKinsey Global Institute analysis [PDF]<p>Work in understanding the skills at the heart of the new digital economy is leading to novel assessments that allow individuals to prove mastery to faithfully represent their abilities—but also to give weight and stackability to the emerging ecosystem of micro-credentials that make education more seamless across time and education providers. And we are seeing the beginnings of a renewal in the liberal arts, focused on building human skills in affordable ways that are accessible to many more individuals and far more effective.</p><p>Amidst these dark times, there is much opportunity to refresh the nation's education and training solutions to support the success of individuals and society writ large.</p>
Do we really know what we want in a romantic partner? If so, do our desires actually mean we match up with people who suit them?
- Two separate scientific studies suggest that our "ideals" don't really match what we look for in a romantic partner.
- Results of studies like these can change the way we date, especially in the online world.
- "You say you want these three attributes and you like the people who possess these attributes. But the story doesn't end there," says Paul Eastwick, co-author of the study and professor in the UC Davis Department of Psychology.
Do we really know what we want in love or are we just guessing?<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="204859156383d358652fda6f7eadda0f"><iframe type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vQgfx2iYlso?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>More than 700 participants selected their top three qualities in a romantic partner (things like funny, attractive, inquisitive, kind, etc). They then reported their romantic desire for a series of people they knew personally. Some were blind date partners, others were romantic partners and some were simply platonic friends.</p><p>While participants did experience more romantic desire to the extent that these personal connections of theirs (people they knew) had the qualities they listed, there was more to the study. </p><p>Paul Eastwick, co-author and professor in the UC Davis Department of Psychology <a href="https://medicalxpress.com/news/2020-07-romantic-partner-random-stranger.html" target="_blank">explains</a>: "You say you want these three attributes and you like the people who possess these attributes. But the story doesn't end there." </p><p>The participants also considered the extent to which their personal acquaintances possessed three attributes nominated by some other random person in the study. For example, if Kris listed "down-to-earth", intelligent and thoughtful as her own top three attributes, Vanessa also experienced more desire for people with those specific traits. </p>
Does what we want really match up with what we find?<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzQ0NDA4Ni9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTU5NjM3NzY5OX0.gdUo-UbjYhKUDOL39BDZseRynbwaK2H5dfJtbV0nw8Y/img.jpg?width=980" id="ff376" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="7c1e3a1bb9d576872ef5dce39b2e8e80" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="illustration of a man and woman matching on a dating app" />
What we claim to want and what we look for may be two separate things...
Image by GoodStudio on Shutterstock<p>So the question became: are we really listing what we want in an ideal partner or are we just listing vague qualities that people typically consider as positive?</p><p>"So in the end, we want partners who have positive qualities," Sparks explained, "but the qualities you specifically list do not actually have special predictive power for you." </p><p>In other words, the idea that we find certain things attractive in a person does not mean we actively seek out people who have those qualities, despite saying it's what we want in a love interest. The authors of this study suggest these findings could have implications for the way we approach online dating in the digital age. </p><p>This isn't the first study of its kind to suggest that what we find in love isn't really what we were looking for. The evidence suggests that we really are consistent in the abstract of it all: when asked to evaluate what you want on paper, you are more likely to suggest overall attractiveness in accordance with what you've stated are important ideals to you. But real life isn't so similar. </p><p>According to <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201506/when-it-comes-love-do-you-really-know-what-you-want" target="_blank">Psychology Today,</a> who covered a 2015 study with similar results, initial face-to-face encounters have very little effect on our romantic desire. "When we initially meet someone, our level of romantic interest in the person is independent of our standards."</p><p>While you might have no immediate interest in John, he may fit your criteria of being kind, loyal, and intelligent. Similarly, someone may be attracted to Elaine even though she doesn't have any of the qualities they originally said were important to them. </p><p><strong>What does this all mean? </strong></p><p>The authors of both the 2015 and 2020 studies say the same thing: give someone a chance before writing them off as a poor match. If your initial attraction is independent of the standards you've set out, the qualities which you've listed as important to you, the first time you meet someone may not give you enough information to make an informed decision.</p><p>"It's really easy to spend time hunting around online for someone who seems to match your ideals," said Sparks, "But our research suggests an alternative approach: Don't be too picky ahead of time about whether a partner matches your ideals on paper. Or, even better, let your friends pick your dates for you." </p>