How to Stop Your Kids from Fighting

Effusive praise said while touching your children - do that once a day, three times week - and you’ll change the fighting that goes on between them.

Let's say your child is fighting with a sibling and your older boy is always picking on his younger sister and you go to this boy and you grab him by his shoulder and you say, “you stop bullying her, you stop doing that or I’m going to hit you.”  


So the child stops at the moment and then it still continues for the rest of the day or the rest of the week.  And the parent runs in and says, cliché parent #45, “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you 1,000 times…” Reprimands don’t work by the way, that’s why that expression is really true.  “If I’ve told you once I’ve told you 1,000 times, stop hitting your sister!”  That’s all going to fail. We know that from decades of research now.  

So what to do?  The boy and the girl are interacting nicely, you run in there and you say, “You are playing so nicely, that is really great.”  And then you touch them.  All those three things, effusive praise said while touching them - do that once a day, three times week - and you’ll change the fighting that goes on between them.  

In Their Own Words is recorded in Big Think's studio.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock

Big Think
Sponsored by Lumina Foundation

Upvote/downvote each of the videos below!

As you vote, keep in mind that we are looking for a winner with the most engaging social venture pitch - an idea you would want to invest in.

Keep reading Show less

The philosophy of tragedy & the tragedy of philosophy - with Simon Critchley

Tragedy in art, from Ancient Greece to Breaking Bad, resists all our efforts to tie reality up in a neat bow, to draw some edifying lesson from it. Instead it confronts us with our own limitations, leaving us scrabbling in the rubble of certainty to figure out what's next.

Think Again Podcasts
  • Why democracy has been unpopular with philosophers
  • Tragedy's reminder that the past isn't finished with us
  • …and why we need art in the first place
Keep reading Show less

A bionic lens undergoing clinical trials could soon give you superhuman abilities

We're talking Ghost in the Shell type of stuff. 

popular

Maybe you watched Ghost in the Shell and maybe afterwards you and your friend had a conversation about whether or not you would opt in for some bionic upgrades if that was possible - like a liver that could let you drink unlimitedly or an eye that could give you superhuman vision. And maybe you had differing opinions but you concluded that it's irrelevant because the time to make such choices is far in the future. Well, it turns out, it's two years away.

Keep reading Show less

Why Lil Dicky made this star-studded Earth Day music video

"Earth" features about 30 of the biggest names in entertainment.

Culture & Religion
  • Lil Dicky is a rapper and comedian who released his debut album in 2015.
  • His new music video, "Earth," features artists such as Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Ed Sheehan, Kevin Hart, and Leonardo DiCaprio.
  • All proceeds of the music video will go to environmental causes, Dicky said.
Keep reading Show less