People have the idea that a dominant partner holds all the power and the submissive one holds none. That's not true at all. If one is truly a dom and one a sub, then they hold equal power. The sub gives the dom what (s)he needs and (s)he gives the sub what (s)he needs.
If someone's nature is to control and they end up with someone who's nature is to be controlled, then it works. I think that it is typically a male trait to be dominant and women submissive, but women have become stronger and more competitive, since women don't need men as providers anymore and it's caused a lot of confusion.
We tend to push off each other for control, but if we can push a man too far, we feel contempt for him. I think women decided somewhere along the way that they needed to become like men to compete with them and that's like saying men are better than women. Which is false; There is as much or maybe even more power in being a woman. With varying desires to credible to be considered equal.
Oops off that tangent. I think it's really important when we're choosing a mate to find one where we are free to be exactly as we are.
Too often we get together with someone and think we'll work those differences out, if we even see them to begin with. When we compromise that means that neither person gets exactly what they want, so it doesn't work in the long run.
People seldom really talk honestly about what their needs are when they're "courting". They're both trying to make the other one happy and not thinking about themselves to much. It's an unnatural time.
Later at times they start thinking that their partner has stopped caring about their needs, but that’s when neither really knows what the other one wants. Perhaps they never did.
They were too busy trying to impress and win over the other person.
"Equality in the bedroom isn't necessarily getting the same thing or having the same amount of control. It's getting, giving and respecting whatever the relationship needs."- Santi P
I'm sure it is different strokes for different folks . If they always put my needs first, then they're too controlled ,for me. I want them to 'lose it' sometimes. And if they want me to desire them, they need to keep a little bit of themselves back. There is such a thing as too much day to day intimacy, especially of a practical and private nature. I won't get specific, but if I didn't see it while we were dating, I probably don't want to see it, if we're living together. How I see someone during the day does determine how I relate to them in the bedroom . Hugs are nice and I want them now and then, but they don't replace sex. Intelligence and a sense of humor is very important to me, but so is physical attraction, which isn't about looks; it's really just about attraction keeping it’s edge.
So, what do you think?
Are dominance and submission a necessary ingredient for sexual pleasure?
If so, how are they possible if the two genders (partners) are equal?
Is it part of the nature of a man (as a result of genetics) to be sexually dominant?
If so, how does the idea that no one is purely masculine or purely feminine fit in?
Is it possible to take turns being dominant and submissive?
Am I a pervert or a male chauvinist pig for assigning ‘roles’?
Why is it important for some to expose socially, an others nature outside of the bedroom?
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