We tell ourselves lies of relativity, justifying our actions, our positions, even our intelligence in comparison to others. We tell ourselves that we are individual, unique, original. We tell ourselves we are destined to be alone, isolated. We tell ourselves lies of absolutes, every, never, all, and so on. We tell ourselves nothing is our fault, we are victims. We tell ourselves we should feel guilty. We tell ourselves we can’t be who we truly are, they would never understand or accept me. We tell ourselves everything happens for a reason. We tell ourselves that we do not care. We tell ourselves we will quit doing this, and that we will never do THAT again. We’re going to exercise, spend more time with the kids, keep in touch , and on and on and on. We tell ourselves that what we do for a living, our country of origin and marital status, are indicators of who we are. All bullshit.
Start with the tooth fairy, Santa, the damn bunny and the like. The lucky ones get the "you have unlimited potential, you can do anything", others get the "you’re a looser who will never accomplish anything", neither are true. Prejudice is a lie passed from parents. Superstitions and "if you keep doing that you will go blind".
Parents pass on their own bad information. Most of the time it is no fault of their own because they are repeating answers to difficult questions that they were told and never really thought about giving their own answers to.
The balance is internal. It is about knowing your complete self, knowing your motivations. It is hinged on internal harmony.
We have multiple parts. We are part emotion, part intellect, part self-obsessed egomaniac. These components struggle for control. It is in those times that all components are in agreement that we operate at full potential.
I would say that all imbalance is cause by lies. It is when our maps/perception do not match the territory/reality that we make poor decisions. When we accept the lie that we always get screwed we start acting like someone who always gets screwed. We fulfil our own fears.
SIDE NOTE: For what ever reason, the human body does not like to lie. Lie Detectors work because of this fact . The body will physically react to the conscious act of lying; it stresses and weakens the body.
When we allow our emotions to over ride what we know, we suffer. When in pursuit of validation of our ego we sacrifice relationships, we suffer. When we succumb to the temptations of physical pleasure at the expense of our integrity, we suffer.
This is the slippery nature of "value". I may value myself higher than the next guy, but my value can only have value if others recognize it , mutual respect. Not only for their ideas or opinions but physically; from their personal space to an others private property. The only value I have is what I place on myself and/or what others place on me. Mutual Respect . The perception of human value has very little to do with logic and even less to do with practicality. This is it in a nutshell.
The perception of value is based to a high degree on our ability to identify with other people. The less able we are to identify with them, the less value they have to us. When we lack the ability to relate to them, we are less able to feel empathy.
Without sufficient empathy, the perception of equal value and entitlement doesn't exist. Communication , respectful dialog is the only way to bridge that gap.
One can only take offense at what is presented ; due to the listener's willingness to understand what is being presented. To deliberately try to offend an others opinion shows no respect for the other individual and their opinion.
If we really did value all humans equally and we were as emotionally and practically involved and committed to the happiness and welfare of everyone, as a true family ; it would be very difficult not to be in a constant state of despair at our inability to actually solve any individual overwhelming problem.
Utilitarianism can work out well at times, unless you happen to be the minority and then you cease to have equal value.
Having patience for things to change is healthy , but to expect unlimited patience in the hope of change is insanity . When you are willing to treat people with no respect for what they feel is important , time after time ; how long should they respect you and what you value?
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