Binge-watching TV together is good for your relationship, studies suggest
Surprisingly, this study was not funded by HBO, Netflix, Hulu or the Illuminati.
Characters in TV shows, films and books can feel so real. We cry for them when times are bad, we laugh when they make jokes – then look over our shoulders to check no one saw us. Or, if you're watching with your partner, you'll grasp their arm, look at one another with slack jaws, and excitedly discuss as the credits roll.
Burning through hours of bandwidth watching Game of Thrones or Narcos might seem like time that could be spent more productively, but when you're watching it beside the one you love, turns out science gives it the all clear. You're creating a "shared social reality", according to a new study from the University of Aberdeen in Scotland (pdf file).
The psychology researchers found that there are measurable benefits to consuming media like films and books with your partner, especially if the two of you don't have a mutual group of friends, are in a long-distance relationship, or don't have much family. The researchers studied 259 students who had been in committed relationships for 16.7 months on average, and they controlled for the time couples spent together to make sure it was in fact the media, and not general time spent together, that produced the enhanced feelings of closeness. The couples who either had shared friends, or had fewer common friends but shared media consumption, reported the highest relationship satisfaction for the duration of the study.
In a different study, couples that share more friends reported greater satisfaction, commitment, intimacy, and optimism about their relationship's future than couples who share fewer friends, so if two people somehow feel they are lacking common social connections the air in the room might get filled with awkward static. Fortunately, we humans are extremely resourceful. When deprived of our psychological needs, we'll find creative ways to meet them. We look at photos when we miss someone. We get pets for companionship. We read books, which psychologically embeds the reader into whatever community is described in the narrative, satisfying a deep human need for belonging to the point that a 2011 study showed that after reading Harry Potter, participants imbued their identity with wizard traits. In extreme isolation, some of us take up with a soccer ball called Wilson.
What this University of Aberdeen study has found is that fictional characters act as social surrogates. "When people lack a shared circle of friends with their partners, sharing media like TV shows, books, and movies with partners may compensate for this deficit and restore closeness," the study reports.
Figure 1. Predicted relationship quality scores for the shared friends by shared media interaction in Study 1. Scores on the Y-axis are predicted values for the composite of standardized measures of partner centrality, own and partner closeness, and own and partner commitment.
The authors also reference research conducted in 2013 on the prevention of marital distress and dissolution, which showed that when couples watched and discussed relationship-themed movies it was equally effective as skills-based counseling interventions in preventing relationship dissolution over three years.
To unlock a bonus level of relationship closeness with your partner, there's evidence to suggest you should browse the thriller, horror and action genres. That's right, you want to feel the fear – purely so you can misattribute it.
A research paper on the effects of adrenaline on arousal and attraction from McKendree University indicates that when someone's emotional arousal (this is arousal outside of the sexual context, think a literal increase of emotional state marked by things like a racing heart and sweaty palms) is increased, their system is flooded with adrenaline, which increases the likelihood and amount of attraction between two people. A creative study by Dutton and Aron involving exchanging phone numbers after crossing a shaky bridge supports it, and it's also why some avant-garde relationship counsellors will suggest couples go sky-diving together as therapy.
So you can grow closer to your partner by sharing the experience of characters in tense dramas, comedies and love stories, but as neuroscientist Joseph Ledoux says, "Things that are bad have more weight than things that are good." Watching a character on Game of Thrones get his eyes gouged until his head pops, for example, should do it. As will watching Barb get shunned by her best friend then dragged to the 'upside down' by a monster in Stranger Things. Oh Barb, romantically fortified couples all over the world thank you.
Step inside the unlikely friendship of a former ACLU president and an ultra-conservative Supreme Court Justice.
- Former president of the ACLU Nadine Strossen and Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia were unlikely friends. They debated each other at events all over the world, and because of that developed a deep and rewarding friendship – despite their immense differences.
- Scalia, a famous conservative, was invited to circles that were not his "home territory", such as the ACLU, to debate his views. Here, Strossen expresses her gratitude and respect for his commitment to the exchange of ideas.
- "It's really sad that people seem to think that if you disagree with somebody on some issues you can't be mutually respectful, you can't enjoy each other's company, you can't learn from each other and grow in yourself," says Strossen.
- The opinions expressed in this video do not necessarily reflect the views of the Charles Koch Foundation, which encourages the expression of diverse viewpoints within a culture of civil discourse and mutual respect.
Scientists make an important discovery for the future of computing.
- Researchers find a new state of matter called "topological superconductivity".
- The state can lead to important advancements in quantum computing.
- Utilizing special particles that emerge during this state can lead to error-free data storage and blazing calculation speed.
Erik Verlinde has been compared to Einstein for completely rethinking the nature of gravity.
- The Dutch physicist Erik Verlinde's hypothesis describes gravity as an "emergent" force not fundamental.
- The scientist thinks his ideas describe the universe better than existing models, without resorting to "dark matter".
- While some question his previous papers, Verlinde is reworking his ideas as a full-fledged theory.
As tempting as it may be to run away from emotionally-difficult situations, it's important we confront them head-on.
- Impossible-sounding things are possible in hospitals — however, there are times when we hit dead ends. In these moments, it's important to not run away, but to confront what's happening head-on.
- For a lot of us, one of the ways to give meaning to terrible moments is to see what you can learn from them.
- Sometimes certain information can "flood" us in ways that aren't helpful, and it's important to figure out what types of data you are able to take in — process — at certain times.