Romantic Failure: A Cultural and Cognitive Bias

We are socialized to blame ourselves when things go wrong in love because that is what is available to refashion when you are in a psychiatrist's office. 

If you feel that you have failed in your quest to find your romantic ideal is that because there is something wrong with you? Everyone has probably felt that way at least at some point. That is because we are socialized to blame ourselves when things go wrong in love. 


In the video below, Eva Illouz, a cultural sociologist at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem and author of Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation, says that sociology can help rid us of the idea that failure and suffering in love is self-inflicted and reflexive.

Furthermore, Illouz says it is a mistake to look into our emotional baggage to understand the predicaments we are in today. This kind of self-analysis and rationalization, Illouz says, is self-defeating and is sucking the passion out of love.

Watch the video here:

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