Ah yes ... falling in love with the same idiot! I agree with much of what you've written, particularly the bits about becoming the person you'd like to attract. That said, there is something important to discover personally about why this happens for you, or me or us. In each apparently idiotic relationship, I've found the same pattern, a similiar personal response, in various forms. And although I've set up many filters to eliminate the obvious, there it is again. I cannot escape believing that these are connections made to have me learn something important about myself - perhaps that I keep trying to evade. Using your example with the conflict in values that surfaces, then perhaps I need to look at why these values demand adherence, or at why I condemn a different set of values. Or where my 'values' are so shaky as to need allegience and support. My latest 'idiot' valued money and security ... I don't mind money and security and don't think of them as the road to perdition (if that exists) but I have not focused much on that value in my life - believing that I'll be OK and there's many more places I want to put my attention. That sounds good but I've learnt that money and security are important to me as evidenced by my attachment to the opposite idea. I don't want to join my ex in the idea that everything gets sacrificed to this tin god - but I've learned a few good things ... and the conflict sharpened my own perceptions about myself.