What is love?

Kay Warren is an evangelical leader, author, AIDS activist, and co-founder of Saddleback Church in Southern California. Along with her husband, Rick, Warren founded Saddleback in 1980 with just a single family to fill the pews. Today it has 120-acre campus, 22,000 weekly attendees, and has provided spiritual guidance and source material to over 400,000 ministers worldwide.

In 2002, Warren became "seriously disturbed" by the scope of the AIDS epidemic; she has since set up an AIDS ministry at Saddleback and spoken out about the disease around the world. Warren is the co-founder and co-director (with her husband) of The Global PEACE Fund, which fights poverty, disease, and illiteracy.

Warren has spoken to the United Nations Global Coalition on Women and AIDS. In 2006, Warren was among eight women honored for their humanitarian efforts at the CNN Inspire Summit. Warren is the author of Foundations Participant's Guide and Dangerous Surrender: What Happens When You Say Yes to God.

  • Transcript


Question: What is love?

Warren: How would I describe love?  Seeking the other’s best interest.  It . . . it truly is about how can I meet . . .  how can I meet your needs?  How can I make life better?  How can I create a home and a relationship where you feel nurtured?  Where you feel valued?  Where you feel appreciated?  Where each is more willing to give than take?  I think it’s a mistake when people talk about 50/50 – you know the relationship should be 50/50 – because that’s really a recipe for disaster.  Because you’re always wondering, “Have you given as much as I’ve given?”  And that’s . . .  You start keeping score.  You start noticing where the other person has failed you, where they’ve disappointed you.  And the fact is Rick disappoints me.  I disappoint him.  I have failed him.  He has failed me.  It’s inevitable.  We are broken people.  All of us are.  And starting with that recognition, somebody said, “You marry a sinner.”  So when you let go of those expectations of the other person having to be perfect; always understand what you want; always think of you; but instead being willing to look at it from the aspect of, “How can I . . . how can I serve you?  When both people are working off of that premise, I think a marriage has all the chances in the world of lasting until that “death do you part”.

Recorded on: 12/11/07