If you had $100 billion to give away, how would you spend it?

Comedian, Writer, and Producer
Schools, schools, schools.
  • Transcript


Josh Lieb: Oh that’s good. I mean I . . . I . . . I’m not . . . What would I do if I were Bill Gates, you know? And I’m . . . I don’t . . . I’m not . . . I don’t know if he does enough. You know if you really have that sort of infinite amount of money, I . . . I think I would build schools. I think . . . I think . . . I think . . . I think you know my . . . my educational solution is . . . is . . . is a nice school, and every teacher should get $100,000 a year minimum. And I think you’d get a lot of people who would teach. You know I think there are a lot of smart people who are most comfortable in a school environment. But if they thought, “Well I could make a good living doing this,” that’s what they would do. That would be the first thing I would do is . . . is fund schools. I’m . . . I’m sure I could . . . I’d give every teacher $200,000 salary a year and see what happens. After that, you know, feeding people. I also like dogs, so dog shelters. You know, I’ve also thought like, you know, you have that kind of money, you could sort of make . . . You could pay to make sort of picture-perfect, pornographic sort of versions of Disney cartoons would be funny, you know. Or like . . . like a parody of Mad magazine circa 1977. Like a fake issue, and that would look exactly like the real Mad magazine. And you would weather it or whatever and just print up 1,000 copies. And then just sort of sell them around bookstores around the country. And it would just kind of blow people’s mind.


Recorded on: 9/4/07