Nobody Can Have It All, Including—and Especially—Women

Staff Writer at The New Yorker
April 17, 2017
"The thinking that you can have every single thing you want in life is not the thinking of a feminist," says Ariel Levy, "it's the thinking of a toddler." According to Levy, Western culture isn't telling the whole truth about the human condition: you will not get everything you want in life. Levy knows this firsthand, having lost her child in her fifth month of pregnancy, which she wrote about for The New Yorker. By choosing to be an adventurer and "the protagonist in [her] own life," Levy admits she may have left it too late to start the process of having a child at 37 years old.The biological clock, which she refers to as a design flaw of the female body, is very much a women's cross to bear, and when it went wrong for her, the much-offered popular notion of "everything happens for a reason" brought her no solace. What helped her cope after her loss — and the series of hardships that followed — was not the comforting thought of a greater good, but surrendering fully to grief. Ariel Levy's most recent book is The Rules Do Not Apply: A Memoir.