Big Think

Bruce Allen on January 18, 2008, 2:40 PM

Homosexuality is a bit like the black-and-white categorization, “You’re Either With Us, or Against Us”. In reality, there are infinite shades of gray. At what level of gray do we start to object?

Bruce Allen on January 18, 2008, 2:58 PM

Another thought…

I have sometimes wondered if there is not a practical test for this ‘grayness’. Give the most homophobic bloke the choice of spending the night with a really ugly chick, or an adorable specimen of his own gender. Of course, by definition, no homophobe is going to admit to anything, but there could be a tipping point in most cases.

Bruce Allen on January 18, 2008, 3:08 PM

Hi dsb9938…

Having a slight degree of grayness myself, I understand that we might need to distinguish between ‘homosexual-feelings’ and ‘homosexual-sex’. I have quite negative attitudes to the latter, though these were never taught to me or based in religion. I guess I’m ‘gray’, rather than ‘gay’.

luke seeley on January 18, 2008, 6:02 PM

I personaly think its just disgusting to see 2 men kissing or holding hands.. i guess its only wrong if you where brought up thinking its wrong. Didnt mean to offend anyone. I only think its disgusting bcs men arnt as you say “good looking creatures” compaird to women. Just dont show anytype of Public display of affection . gay or straight i dont like it

Douglas Whitmore on January 18, 2008, 6:30 PM

Homosexuality (homo translates to ‘human’)is a natural ebb and flow that human evolution employs, as one way, to control the growth in population.
It occurs on a basic level, just as it does throughout animal and plant species.
It really has little to do with the actions that come from same-sex interactions; it has most to do with nature saying we need to slow the growth of a species down.

Joe Bielecki on January 18, 2008, 6:40 PM

I think it’s just how you’re brought up. I have nothing against people with homosexual or bisexual tendancies. (Note, I have neither). I just feel uncomfertable sometimes

Randall Menser on January 18, 2008, 6:49 PM

homosexuality is pretty f’in gay, dude. hahah jk. I think its becoming more and more acceptable as time passes by. In fact its sort of trendy these days as well. I have a young sibling who is in highschool and it would seem as if a lot of students are claiming to be gay in an attempt at conformity. Bein gay went from taboo to being all the rage and soon enough, I think it will be widely socially acceptable, much like it was in the roman empire of yesteryear. whats interesting is peoples’ impulse to either declare that they are or arent gay or to declare that if they are not that they have nothing against being gay…when in actuality, thats pretty darn irrelevant to the conversation.

oh and I’m not gay

…not that I have a problem with that though.

Bruce Allen on January 18, 2008, 7:32 PM

Question for WM…

If HOMOsexuality is for sex between HUMANS, who the hell are HETROS supposed to have sex with?

But I do agree with your premise that homosexuality might be one of the levers available to a god responsible for population control.

Douglas Whitmore on January 18, 2008, 9:15 PM

It’s interesting why we think words are what we think they are.
Hetero means chemistry.
Why Homo and Hetero have been attached to sexuality the way they have and then interpreted as we do without question, is beyond my understanding.
So, some of the confusion, and lack of understanding is of our own making.
Surprise, Surprise!

It’s interesting to me that some commenters decided to qualify their label.
Being fearful of other’s judgment is unfortunate because the suspected judgment or labeling is based on incomplete information. There’s no way anyone reading any of these posts can have a clue as to the sexuality of the person writing it.

Bruce Allen on January 18, 2008, 10:40 PM

WM — You’re right… it is confusing, and largely depends on whether you look to the Latin or Greek derivatives [ I went and looked it up [grin]]. Looks like Greek usage won this time.

[ Disclaimer: I am ‘gray’, and proud of it. How gray? – anybody’s guess! ]

Kendra Watkins on January 18, 2008, 11:17 PM

I think it’s mostly because people have been taught from a young age that it’s wrong. Also, religious texts have verses/scriptures about it being immoral or a sin. Obviously, if you are religious and your religious text says “this is a sin, don’t do it” then people are scared to even associate with someone who might have homosexual tendencies. Afraid that it might rub off on them maybe? I don’t know, but I think the roots of homophobia are almost purely from a religious standpoint. Just my two cents :)

Ash on January 18, 2008, 11:46 PM

i think that sex-negativity has a lot to do with the reason some people believe homosexuality is “wrong.” i think society vilifies almost all sexual minorities, and i think it has more to do with sex than other perceived differences. perhaps the reason sexual minorities are “punished” by society is because they manage to live out the “fantasies” and behaviors that mainstream society has severely repressed in itself.

unfortunately (or perhpaps fortunately?) in our society, LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer/questioning) people have been portrayed as being over-sexualized beings of uncontrollable urges and unnatural lusts, or simply people who are more open about sex. Since judeo-christian traditions have historically only condoned sex as an act of procreation, LGBTQ people have suffered because in the limited view of such reigning traditions, the fact that LGBTQ people weren’t having sex to procreate meant that in some way their sex was inferior to heterosexual sex and was actually sinful because it served no evolutionary purpose. i honestly believe that if society was more sex positive and open to the idea that sexual behavior and sexual pleasure is healthy and for more than just pumping out babies, maybe society wouldn’t have vilified homosexual people as harshly as it did and still does.


“don’t be offended,
this is all my opinion,
ain’t nothing that i’m saying law”

-India.Arie “Video” lyrics

Brittany D on January 19, 2008, 9:12 PM

i get your point jdrockerfeller.
it really just grosses me out.
once wen i was at the movies with my b/f we saw abt three gay couples with their arms around e/o. it just sucks it was in the way of things. lol.
but i guess we cldve left it rele bothered us tht bad.

Kaycee Carroll on January 19, 2008, 11:34 PM

I agree with Armywife777. People have a problem with it because they’ve been tought to have a problem with it. I personally know a few someone’s who are Homosexual and i don’t really have a problem with it. The only problem with being Homosexual is that society has in a sence banned it. if you are that way most people will sort of shun you. Horrid fact, but true.

Andy Miser on January 20, 2008, 2:52 AM

I actually am not sure whether homophobia is related to upbringing. My girlfriend has two sons who have pretty much been brought up side by side in the same household. One is gay friendly (and boys are attracted to him) and the other is homophobic. There has been no religeous influence and girlfriend and I are both open minded with bisexual experiences. The homophobic son was always that way though. I think it relates to his discomfort with sexuality in general. He avoids open conversations about sex and homo sex is just way out of the box.

Tristan Heindl on January 20, 2008, 4:03 PM

Who are the shapers of this society; the ones who say what we should think, the ones with the money and platforms to do so. What if they want a maximum reproductive yield, to ever quickly expand the human cattle farm I know as “democracy”

Alicia D on January 20, 2008, 10:01 PM

Homosexuality is a hard topic for me. I would like to say, hey, whatever makes you happy. At the same time, because it is so different to me, it almost does weird me out.

But then again, me being a straight female…if anyone ever told me I couldn’t like boys…well…I would just laugh and say “yeah riiight..” So how can I fairly tell a gay guy he can’t like a guy?

Gordon Freeman on January 21, 2008, 5:58 PM

Wow likethisxoxo, i really don’t think you have an intellectual bone in your body.

“its wrong because it grosses you out” Good point, what else makes you sick? I think you may have something here.

Brian Scott on January 22, 2008, 11:21 AM

Homosexuality (from what I know) is a combination or one of these 2 deciding factors 1: A mutation in our DNA that makes us more sexually interested in the same sex. OR 2: The way one is brought up, Example: trauma early in life, parents confusing the child, observations by the child, etc. That is what I believe but I may be wrong.

Nick S on January 27, 2008, 7:40 PM

“It’s a Choice, Why do you choose to be gay?” That is the most ubsurd state and question I have ever heard. To anyone who thinks that being gay is a choice, answer me this, at what age it you ponder the decision? How old were you when you decided to be straight? was there ever a time when you set down and decided to choose your sexual preferrence?
Homosexuality is found in all aspects of nature. Look it up. Lesbian seagulls, who only allow males in to fertilize the eggs, then runs them off and raises the chicks with their female partner. Moneys, dogs, every animals species has gay members. If it isn’t natural, then why is it in nature?
It’s people like Fred Phelps (the biggest moron to ever breath our oxygen), Him and his enbreed, psychotic children filled church, goes across this country, holding banners that states, God hates Fags, When a Fag Dies, Jesus laughs. He not only attacks gays and Lesbians, now he is attacking Soldiers who have been killed in war, with such great banners as Thank God another soldier Dead, Kill another useless soldier, God Laughs when soldiers die. It is ignorant, egomaniacal, bible thumping idiots like this that breed hate, and raise backwoods intolerant trash. According to the Bible, it is far worse to Judge others, and to breed hate, and spread rumors, than it is to be gay. There is alot of so called preachers who will receive a very rude awakening when they die.

Mara Milani on February 19, 2008, 1:29 PM

Hi, Im italian, and I’m lesbian.
I just want to tell you that I had no problem with my family, no problem with man, no problem at all with sex and my DNA is really ugual to yours. I had a boyfriend for 3 year and half, and i have my house and my work, as ugual as you.

And, very important, i didn’t chose to become lesbian. It’s something you can’t chose. I just want remind you that there is a big different have sex with a men o with a woman.

The only problem I had, when I did’t realize yet that i like girls, is that I wasn’t me. I was what people expect I was. Not me.

WE ARE NOT SICK, WE LOVE, AS YOU STRAIGHT LOVES.

Falling in love is the best thing can happend to you, so, please, stop judging gay people, and stop saing we are sick or DnA mutating.

A LOT of animals are gay: delfin, lions, pinguins, donkey….please look just foward your nose, and think, but think different.

Mara Milani on February 19, 2008, 1:29 PM

Hi, Im italian, and I’m lesbian.
I just want to tell you that I had no problem with my family, no problem with man, no problem at all with sex and my DNA is really ugual to yours. I had a boyfriend for 3 year and half, and i have my house and my work, as ugual as you.

And, very important, i didn’t chose to become lesbian. It’s something you can’t chose. I just want remind you that there is a big different have sex with a men o with a woman.

The only problem I had, when I did’t realize yet that i like girls, is that I wasn’t me. I was what people expect I was. Not me.

WE ARE NOT SICK, WE LOVE, AS YOU STRAIGHT LOVES.

Falling in love is the best thing can happend to you, so, please, stop judging gay people, and stop saing we are sick or DnA mutating.

A LOT of animals are gay: delfin, lions, pinguins, donkey….please look just foward your nose, and think, but think different.

Mara Milani on February 19, 2008, 1:30 PM

Hi, Im italian, and I’m lesbian.
I just want to tell you that I had no problem with my family, no problem with man, no problem at all with sex and my DNA is really ugual to yours. I had a boyfriend for 3 year and half, and i have my house and my work, as ugual as you.

And, very important, i didn’t chose to become lesbian. It’s something you can’t chose. I just want remind you that there is a big different have sex with a men o with a woman.

The only problem I had, when I did’t realize yet that i like girls, is that I wasn’t me. I was what people expect I was. Not me.

WE ARE NOT SICK, WE LOVE, AS YOU STRAIGHT LOVES.

Falling in love is the best thing can happend to you, so, please, stop judging gay people, and stop saing we are sick or DnA mutating.

A LOT of animals are gay: delfin, lions, pinguins, donkey….please look just foward your nose, and think, but think different.

Allison Karl on March 5, 2009, 9:59 PM

While I am against homosexuality, I would really rather just like to point out some factors that studies show concerning it. Homosexuals tend to have a higher risk of disease. Not only in AIDS but other diseases as well. Another problem is that it has been shown that they are more prone to suicide. The factors contributing to this could be varied. Some say that it could be due to the fact that many are looked on as outcasts from an early age. Others suggest that it is because of the pressures from family to just become “normal” again. While these are problems, I don’t think that just because someone is homosexual means that you need to segregate them from others and treat them worse. We are to love those around us.

Allison Karl on March 5, 2009, 9:59 PM

While I am against homosexuality, I would really rather just like to point out some factors that studies show concerning it. Homosexuals tend to have a higher risk of disease. Not only in AIDS but other diseases as well. Another problem is that it has been shown that they are more prone to suicide. The factors contributing to this could be varied. Some say that it could be due to the fact that many are looked on as outcasts from an early age. Others suggest that it is because of the pressures from family to just become “normal” again. While these are problems, I don’t think that just because someone is homosexual means that you need to segregate them from others and treat them worse. We are to love those around us.