Blogging is hard. It’s hard coming up with new ideas from the comfort of your mom’s basement day after day after day. Like most bloggers, I try to steal other people’s ideas as much as possible. This week—with the help of the always entertaining sites Favstar and Favorious—I’m going to pass along some of the funniest political commentary from Twitter this year. Today, I’ll focus on some of the main players in American politics. My heartfelt thanks to the brilliant and attractive Twitter folk who unwittingly contributed to this post. You should follow them all.
The State of the Union Address
@mattyglesias: Gay soldiers will win the future by riding high speed trains to salmon farms.
@califmom: I love that we’re a nation of diversity: a black president, a white vice president, and an orange speaker of the house.
@lafix: Paul Ryan will speak for Republicans tonight and Michele Bachmann will speak on behalf of Slytherin.
@stuntbox: Paul Ryan: “Government stimulation of innovation has never worked. Thank you for watching this Internet streaming broadcast.”
@BorowitzReport: To tweet about the President’s speech, use #SOTU. To tweet about Michele Bachmann’s response, use #STFU.
@UNTRESOR: Barack Obama was just nominated for a best actor award for his performance as President of the United States.
@PaulyPeligroso: I don’t know why everyone is stressing over Obama’s birth certificate. I’ve seen the dude on TV. I’m pretty sure the guy was really born.
@OverlandParker: Obama announced his bid for re-election today, saying, “Of course I’m running, where else do you expect me to find a job in this economy?”
@robdelaney: First killing pirates, now Bin Laden? Obama might not be American, but he’s definitely a member of the Justice League.
@badbanana: Obama’s daughters aren’t on Facebook? WHO HAVE I BEEN CHATTING WITH?
@FrankConniff: What Weiner did was reprehensible. It’s not something you can easily forgive like a war crime or destroying the economy.
@theharryshearer: Most shocking Anthony Weiner revelation: his email account is still at AOL.
@TheBosha: Representative Weiner has embarrassed all men my age by (1) being a total rube on the Internet and (2) working out.
@juliaturner: Sorta wish Weiner had used apostrophes properly in his sexts.
The Republican Field
@GPappalardo: Tim Pawlenty announced today that he is a person who exists.
@sbellelauren: are people really going through 25,000 of sarah palins e-mails to see if she said something stupid? just wait 5 minutes and she’ll do it out loud
@BDGarp: Romney to military veteran: “I don’t understand your question nor foreign policy, but I want to thank you for your service.”
@FakeAPStylebook: Be sure to differentiate between Newt Gingrich the politician and newt gingrich the newt disease.
@TheHoyBoy: I think I just hit Donald Trump’s hair with my car.
@StephenAtHome: Now I ain’t saying Ron Paul’s a gold digger, but he ain’t messin’ with no broke system-of-paper-currency-that-will-make-our-debt-bigger.
@peterbyrnes: To be fair, Herman Cain has the most experience in creating jobs. Menial, horrible, soul-killing jobs.
@Morgan_Murphy: I would pay all of my money to watch what happens when someone puts a glass down at Bachmann’s house without using a coaster.
Photo credit: Pete Souza