May 19

Extreme Biology

Saturday’s Big Idea

Today's Big Idea: Marriage 3.0

Why do so many people struggle with monogamous relationships? It's just not in our nature to have one partner for life argues Christopher Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn

And yet we continue to demand monogamy in most all relationships. Sex columnist Dan Savage, however, says it is a mark of immaturity that relationships are destroyed by one slip-up. After all, we're human and we fail. “We need to talk about monogamy the way we talk about sobriety," he says. "You can be monogamous and fall off the wagon and then sober back up."

What do married couples value the most? While most people don't sign up for a life of celibacy when they get married, according to Ashley Madison founder Noel Biderman, sex is important, but it is certainly not at the top of the list.

Biderman, whose site allows married people to meet and have discreet affairs, tells Big Think that through an affair, or "through a liaison, and even to some degree through the use of pornography and other things," Biderman argues, married people can find "these cathartic outlets that allow them to stay within that marriage and be that great partner, parent or however they see themselves." 

 

  1. 1 Life is Short. Have an Affair. A ...
  2. 2 A Marriage Ruined by Monogamy
  3. 3 How to Make Love Like a Caveman
  4. 4 Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous
   
  1. Life is Short. Have an Affair. A Sociological Experiment on Steroids

    Life is Short. Have an Affair. A Sociological Experiment on Steroids

    The dating site for married people, Ashley Madison, has now been around for over a decade. What can we now learn about marriage and monogamy from this “sociological experiment on steroids"?  

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  2. A Marriage Ruined by Monogamy

    A Marriage Ruined by Monogamy

    Pamela Haag: "Whenever I hear a headline like 'Marriage Ruined by Cheating,' I’m tempted to point to a divorce somewhere else and declare, 'Marriage Ruined by Monogamy.'

    Read More…
  3. How to Make Love Like a Caveman

    How to Make Love Like a Caveman

    What was prehistoric human sex like? Most of us conjure "the hackneyed image of the caveman, dragging a dazed woman by her hair with one hand, a club in the other." Psychologist Christopher Ryan says this image is mistaken in every detail.

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  4. Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous

    Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous

    Dan Savage: the idea that one instance of infidelity should ruin a relationship is a new—and misguided—notion.

    Read More…