Nina DiSesa: Well, I talk about several a lot of different layers in the book, but one of the things that everybody go on to is the art of a [Inaudible], because obviously I phrase that into way that would be provocative and what I am really trying to say is that women who are trying to reach man, and get man to help them succeed and whatever level they are at, sometimes we have to do more than just play by the rules and the rules are be smart, be passionate, be work hard, do everything right, don’t have an agenda, get the job done. We do that., women do that, that’s why we are in the business in such great numbers, but in order to get above that middle management level, we have to do some invisible persuasion or manipulation as what I say and then that is to try and get the man too approve your ambition and to give you the advancements that you are looking for in a part of kind of an unorthodox way. I mean people may not wanted use the tactics that I use that work for me and all I am saying to women are when think of your own tactics, everything is not black and white, men are not that hard, they are kind of and they admitted themselves, they are easy, we know how to deal with men in our personal lives. We start with our father, we have brothers, we have husbands, we have boy friends, we have no problem dealing with those men then really going to the workforce and we have men that were in business with, we just kind of loose everything that we know and we become slaves to their set of rules and I am just saying seduction and manipulation, seduction not about sex metaphor, they try manipulate the situation and control the situation you are in the charming way that’s not threatening and in a way that makes people admire you and care about you rather than dismiss you.
Recorded on: 2/29/08
Discuss
tim hall on September 18, 2009, 12:16 PM
In a man’s prospective, women in the work-place make men feel a little inadequate. We feel like mom’s watching us. We have to keep adjusting our tie, clean up our language and clean our room. Men like to hang loose until the client or boss walks in and then show-off their professionalism.
As far as helping a female with work or achieving higher rank, most men today, block out any differences in sex. They know as professionals, any success within the team, reflects on their success. If we are challenged by a co-worker’s success, there isn’t any sexual difference. I have seen some strong fatherly types treat women as if they were their children and not listen closely to their advice. That is one mark against the team. When men are in charge, they already know that their male worker is going to screw something up, but they are dumbfounded when the female does. That is from mom being head of house-hold.
The moving up into ranks has always been the biggy. Men are afraid that a woman may not discipline the workers or clients stringently enough or show enough aggression to get the job done. (moms a push over) So it leaves the female moving up the ladder to skate on thin ice. If she is seen as a b__tch, she could be held back.(dangerous) But if she does not show enough authority she could be held back. Authority is standard equipment for the man. But it is not real. We know who rules the roost.
Also, men need room to stretch, break rules, screw things up by taking them beyond their limits. Man has a best or break perspective. Women stay close to the guide lines, complete every step, fail at nothing, but hit the home run less. It seems that woman can always be counted on but we are always looking for the Golden Boy.
I hope this helps.
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