This is a blog I wrote that is really off the path of the usual info I put up here but nevertheless I think it has great value for those that it can touch.
Why do I keep falling in love with the same idiot?
by Martin From NY
People don't decide in advance the qualities of a person they want before the hypnosis of love takes over. They don't internally ask them selves does this person qualify as a good mate with similar natures, values and being the right team fit to compliment my needs.
In your desire and need for love, your attraction strategy is being
fired off without you deciding in advance for where it needs to fire.
Nevertheless natures can be different, as long as the differences stimulate, not separate. If your goals are to reach out and help as many people as possible making the world a better place and your mate, who is the most attractive looking person, great conversationalist, driven, great in bed person you ever met, but has goals of getting to the top and stepping on as many people as possible to do it, you guys aren't gonna last to long!
If you do choose to stay in a relationship with that person one of you are going to experience emotional repression because whenever one of your true values decides to surface it is going to cause conflict with the other person. So in order to avoid the external short term pain of conflict you emotionally repress what you feel causing internal long term pain of unhappiness. These type of relationships end up very often making two people grow old miserably together.
Again, what you need to do is get real specific on what you want ahead of time and scout that type of person out. Also, you have to make sure that you work on yourself to create the type of person your ideal mate would want. This may take time but anything is achievable if you put your heart mind and soul into it.
There really are no boundaries in life except the ones we make.
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