Hedge Fund Manager Says ‘Regulate Me!’

Sure, Geithner and Barney Frank are idiots, and regulators are by nature “slow moving,” but one hedge funder, who works at an “already registered” fund, says it would be a mistake to fight inevitable regulations, arguing that regulators can’t stop top talent from making huge money, and hedge funds don’t have anything to hide anyway.

Look, it’s not hedge funds’ fault that the global economy collapsed. It’s the fault of investment banks posing as hedge funds, like Goldman Sachs, which is really just another branch of the United States Treasury Department anyway. Unlike real hedge funds, who make everybody rich, these “fund-to-fund” scoundrels “took so much fat off the bone that the cow started to limp.” Thain handed out bonuses early to his buddies. Greenberg got out at the right time. Bush abolished the uptick rule and the Glass-Steagall Act. But now it’s hedge funds who are getting chased by hysterical, misinformed politicians who are acting like a “vigilante group outside of Sheriff’s door.”

Yet, there’s no reason to avoid regulations. There may be some more costs involved, and regulators will probably get hedge funds confused with private equity firms. Hey, it’s gonna happen. Look, rules are a good thing. Detroit didn’t want seat belts, either. You think regulations, like putting limits on the percentage of stocks you can short, will foil the Madoffs of the world? Please! Madoff was handed to the government years ago and they looked the other way. Besides, every senator seeking reelection embarks on a “hedge fund circuit.” You think they’re going to screw that up?